NO, u r not the chosen one for bad!!
Never let shaytaan make you feel like that!
ill tell you what your doing wrong; help yourself and Allah will help you.
1)
You are despairing.
DO NOT despair, im not asking you to smile and laugh, but just dont feel despair, never despair of Allahs mercy.the moment you do, shaytaan will feed on your despair and increase it, and increase it until, you do something terrible, like end your life, Astagfarullah.
2)
DO NOT remember your sins
Shaytaan presents your sins before you over and over in the hope that you will feel that you are such a bad person, and you will feel that everybody despises you. He will always throw your sins up in your face and you will feel horrible.remember this is his trick and he is very happy to see you agonise over your past and completely forget Allah and his mercy.
Allahs mercy is abundant, but your being tricked by Shaytaan because your only looking one way, at your sins, and ignoring Allahs mercy which may be right before you,...and now where to find that mercy....
3)
DO NOT neglect your family
Shaytaas tricked you again! hes turning your head with his hands and keeps saying 'look at your sins, your so bad', and thereby hes taking your attention away from the ppl that need you the most! your beloved mother and your younger brother! How can you let them down, focus on them, help them and Allah will have mercy on you and erase your sins.
And there you go!! your sins are erased! your human, whatever you did, you cannot turn time around, but atleast dont ruin the time ahead of you!
My dear brother, i was reallly sad to read your post
, i felt your despair (and thats why my anwser is so long!). Remember, we are all with you, and well ALL make Dua for you.
You are a really good person, you just need to show it more
ok?
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