A Brother Harrased me Sexually several times

sister, niqab is not necessarily a sign that tells people to back off these days, if he recognises you then its possible even with niqab he will come to talk to you. Can you kick well?

As far as I'm concerned, he doesn't even have the right to talk to you.

Next time he somehow talks to you, tell him politely that you will involve the authorities if he does not cease to contact you, that you will keep a log of every call, message, action and word and that this will promptly be sent to the police.

If he truly loved you, then he'd do things the right way. Obviously, he is only thinking of himself. Stay away!

format_quote Originally Posted by north_malaysian

the first thing that you should do is to stop calling him "a brother".

LOLLLLLLLLL! thats funny.

Dear sis salam alaikum,

i apologise for loling before but it just reminded me of something else my dearest apologies,

sis, first of i know that sometimes the truth hurts every human being experiences this i myself have experienced it man many many times, to be honest too many times for my own liking, its human nature in general, but if you are not told the truth then how on earth will you realise??????

i know you said that brother mujahid was harsh and judgemental etc, but what he has said is the truth, ok sorry bro but maybe it could have been put in different working since you are very sensitive due to everything that has happened, but the fact of the matter is that you were talking to this guy and in contact with him, you knew his intentions yet you did give it the time of the day and in a way pursue it by listening to him, that in itself is something that a good muslimah does not do, (but hey no ones perfect) we make mistakes but the key of it all is to learn from it and never make it again.

the first time this happened to you, you could have put a full stop to it, there is no justification nor any reason or explanation for such a dirty and filthy act to take place on behlaf of this guy, i'm not gonna call him a brother cos people like that who have no respect for women should not be called brothers.

as a good and firm believeing muslimah our aim is to find a pius and firm believing righteous husband, and we should never setlle for anything less, this guy from the start through his actions has shown you what a disrespectful, guy he is, do you seriously think that words speak louder than actions? his actions are that he harrasses you indecently then his words that he wants to marry you?

come on sis, its a bit too obvious, he only sees you as a piece of meat that he wants and you want to know why he wont stop and what will make him stop, no it will not be marriage that he is seeking, it is you and the lust for you, bet you anything and i'm sorry to have to give you this example but if you were a astray woman like him, he wouldnt even bring this none sense talk of marriage up with you if you allowed him he'd have you then thats it he has got what he has wanted and he wont even want to know you no more.

but since your a muslimah and he sees that your a practising one thats why he is using talks of marriage to lure you and sweet talk you.

I dont care if this brother is God's gift to women and nor should you, yes you are right that is a very shallow way of thinking from your behalf and due to this thinking you have got yourself in a sitaution where this brother has done these things to you.

you need to open your eyes and see the truth! and i seriouslly suggest if you really are a good muslimah then you cut off all forms of contact from this guy and do anything and everything to avoid him, if it happens that you bump into him, walk off leave, if he restrains you from doing so then scream for help and make it known to him that you are no longer having it and he wil eventually get the picture.

these men think percieve and understand differently, after he did the 1st act you still gave him the time of the day i am sure you made it clear through your words and actions that it was wrong and for him not to do it again, but their way of percieveing and understanding is that yes youhave consented and yes he can do it again, so by you even picking up that call and giving him a sec to speak is your form of consent hence why it happened the 2nd time and now the third time.

so you disconnect him off through every mean and turn to Allah swt and ask for forgiveness, cos i am sorry to say sis but even if God forbid your mum gav this guy your number, and he called you, 2 wrongs never make a right nor wll or is that any justification for you to talk to a non mahram guy on the phone in such a manner specially when the intentions are not clean, by that i mean i seriously doubt you were talking to him or felt like you were talking to your own brother.

dear sister please dont talk anything i have said into pffence i have not judged you nor have any right to, we are all sinners in our own way, but our aim ad purpose of life for our own salvation is to strive hard to become pious and righteous slaves of Allah swt.by you listening to our advice here given nor is it gonna benefit us or cause us any harm, but as a member of our ummah nd as a muslim it is our duty to remind and try to guide people to the truth, so we are only fulfilling our duty, not saying things to upset you nor cause you pain cos that in itself is a sin to do so to another human being. so forgive me if i have said anything to upset you.

Ma salama.

Assalamualaikum sister

Heeeeeyyy sis, I agree with what my beautiful sis Eeman has said the way he treats women is disguting, and he does see you as a piece of meat .. u tel me where the bro lives and my brothers will come down and SORT him out lol .. nah violence is never the way to go .... sis listen to me this guy that is trying to tell you that he loves you is lying, I believe he is trying to flatter, he thinks he's being 'sweet' and that you will run into his arms, we all know that's not going to happen, my gorgeous sis FORGET about his looks, thats just icing on the cake, looks fade away, real beauty is within, their personality, character, imaan so on and so forth ... have a look at the guy's mind and character and you will see that he only wants one thing, may Allah (swt) guide him, ameen. Try your upmost to stay away from him, blank him, don't pick up witheld and private calls, be PERSISTANT sis, and he will get bored and go away, trust me sis you don't want to waste your time with this dude, these girls that you say that will do anything to be with him, that's only because of what you say, which is his looks, they want to be with someone that does not give the respect women deserve... just ignore him, don't bother even responding when he says anything to you, he will get bored, up and leave trust me, SOME guys in this world are are only after one thing, and when they can't get it they just leave. Trust me sis, try your best to block him from your life, I pray to Allah (swt) he gets the picture and leaves you alone, and that Almighty Allah (swt) guides him to the beautiful religion of Islam, ameen

Im here for you sis, PM whenever you want ... love yooouu ;-)

format_quote Originally Posted by Alpha Dude™

I wasn't desrcibing you in that way. It's an observation I have made of sisters in general. Thus, I gave advice assuming it might be the same case with you. From what I have noticed, sisters tend to be naive and innocent minded, they assume the best of people. That's what I thought you might have been like, to have 'given him the time of day', as you said.

Regardless, I didn't pity you per se... perhaps felt sorry for you, out of concern, that's all.

Anyway, my advice is to never ever let him contact you in any manner whatsoever. If he sees you in the street, run. In the first instance, try not to go out alone... be with your brothers or a group of other people.

If he rings you from a private number, put the phone down straight away. Don't give him any attention. Better still, change your number and give it only to the people you trust.

salam alaikum brother, i totally agree with you cos it is very common in young women, and i myself went through that and no sister it is not a sign of weakness but innocence and yes niavety too in some aspects.

well..u sld slap him o tell sumone older if he kisses you by force nd he will do it again nd repeat it..he jus plying his ntt a respecful guy who fear allah..nwayz dont wait till next time cuz who knws u may neva knw wht gonna hppen next dont wait till HE RAPE YOU..cuz a guy dat does dat will lead him to do dat act? btw sis where do u liv in da usa?

Call the police, they should so something about it.
Insha-allah, Allah will help you through