I feel so bad. This has now been the 3rd or so times that this had happened. There is a brother who lives across the street from us. Several times he physically attacked me, kissed me by force. I tried to push him away, but he tells me that it actually makes him want me even more.
First I met him a couple of months ago, the first day we met he told me that he wants to marry me. I told him that I wasnt just going to marry someone that easily n that it would take time to get to know each other. He kept saying, that he wants to marry me within one week and I told him that I didnt want that. He said that he would come to my father with his father n ask for my hand, I told him not to make a fool out of himself and not to bother coming to my Dad n that I wasnt ready.
The mistake I made is to give him the time of day. He keept calling me and kept asking me to just hear him out. So I gave him a chance to talk. After I slapped him last time when he tried to kiss me, I thought, this time he will have learned his lesson. Well today he did waaay more, he touched me in appropiately, n Kissed some parts of my body, I kept resisting. I told him, as fiercely as I could, to NOT TOUCH ME. He keeps saying, ok, I wont. and Before I know it he's all over me yet again.
The only thing about him that gives me a slight interest are his looks. Shallow I know. This is exactly why I didnt want to jump the marriage bandwagon with him. He's extremely good looking, and I guess he's use to girls being all over him, he cant believe it that I keep avoiding him. He told me that he will never leave me alone until he marries me. He said that I could help by agreeing. That he's obsessed with me. I dont know why I even bothered to see him. I feel soo bad. Moreso of what he did to me. I am a practising Muslimah n I have never been touched by a guy. I dont know how on earth I ended up in this mess.
I feel used n abused. Please help me.
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that's what I said like three days ago. Get a restraining order.
Yes bruva you know what your talking about. Encase anyone else doesnt know a restring order is like that man cannot come within a certain disatnce from the sister
Thats an excellent point my brother which i overlooked. I would do everthing within my ability to help her, and at this moment its only to give advice, and to pray for her.
and if he comes and tries to mess with you again I WILL PERSONALLY go over there and whoop his sorry behind
It makes me so mad when some guy thinks he's all fine and fly and tries to mess with whoever he wants. This guy is seriously a freakin mental case... he's just aggravated that you don't want him the way other poeple do. And don't think for one second he's telling you the truth about all this marriage bull ...
and if he comes and tries to mess with you again I WILL PERSONALLY go over there and whoop his sorry behind
It makes me so mad when some guy thinks he's all fine and fly and tries to mess with whoever he wants. This guy is seriously a freakin mental case... he's just aggravated that you don't want him the way other poeple do. And don't think for one second he's telling you the truth about all this marriage bull ...
Sister i think the sister has tried to avoid him, but now she needs get in contact with the police for a restraining order, but that cant happen over night it has to go through the courts but undder the Protection from Harassment Act in 1997, shes allowed a restraing order !
people say she should tell her parents, but how easy is to tell your parents you have been sexual harrased?
i know for a fact i would of put him in hostpial
Agreed,
I haven't been put in that situation, and anonymous is brave enough to come out about this. But you have to know when to say when even though it's hard. Would you rather be abused and hurt? Or come out and say this to people that can fix it and will help you....? You need to follow your instincts and do whats right (coughkickhisbuttcough). We don't know your life....so you decide...because as of now you're letting him control you. And you should NOT take that. He's just a stupid guy...Don't even front about him take charge.
Sister i think the sister has tried to avoid him, but now she needs get in contact with the police for a restraining order, but that cant happen over night it has to go through the courts but undder the Protection from Harassment Act in 1997, shes allowed a restraing order !
yeah good pointt...
Well the sister might know a friend or a family member she can try staying with temporarily if he doesn't leave her alone. Because who knows what the psychopath will do next.
Agreed,
I haven't been put in that situation, and anonymous is brave enough to come out about this. But you have to know when to say when even though it's hard. Would you rather be abused and hurt? Or come out and say this to people that can fix it and will help you....? You need to follow your instincts and do whats right (coughkickhisbuttcough). We don't know your life....so you decide...because as of now you're letting him control you. And you should NOT take that. He's just a stupid guy...Don't even front about him take charge.
i know but it depends on the family life, i mean some parents will beat her up for doing anything sexual if you know what i mean? but YES she needs 2 tell her parents and file a restraing order, but if i knew the sister well, i would beat the guy up and put him in hospital seriouslyy
i know but it depends on the family life, i mean some parents will beat her up for doing anything sexual if you know what i mean? but YES she needs 2 tell her parents and file a restraing order, but if i knew the sister well, i would beat the guy up and put him in hospital seriouslyy
Yeah we don't know her life...but seriously SOMEONE needs to know..
same here I would just get my brothers to handle it.
Yeah we don't know her life...but seriously SOMEONE needs to know..
same here I would just get my brothers to handle it.
We all know somone needs to know, but this of how the sister is thinking......she might be thinking like the following
i tell my mum or dad i done anything sexual they will beat me
i tell my mum or dad i met a boy they will beat me
etc etc...........
but obviouslly she needs 2 tell her parents and make sure the sister gets her restrain order filled...it will take a couple of months but she should get it......(thats if shes in the UK lol)
We all know somone needs to know, but this of how the sister is thinking......she might be thinking like the following
i tell my mum or dad i done anything sexual they will beat me
i tell my mum or dad i met a boy they will beat me
etc etc...........
Really good point, brother, a lot of the times due to idiotic culture and customs, when a girl tries to tell her parents something like this, they don't care about the details and whether what happened was in fact her fault or not, whatever she says backfires and they end up blaming her for what happened.
i really cant help u with anything but ur in my dua's sis
wait hangon why cant brothers from this forum meet this muppet and beat him up c'mon thats what guys like to do fight well some.
oh never mind stupied idea.
forget it brothers dont get ready
inshallah sis ur in my duas
Three simple rules in life:
1) If you do not go after what you want, you will never have it
2) If you don't ask, the answer will always be no.
3) If you do not step forward, you'll always be in the same place
OMG... y r u sooo quite about it .. omg if it was me i woulda beat his ***** but seriously dont just stand there ... i mean do sometihn... if u cant then tell ur bro father uncle etc cousin if it was me omg it would be his last day... believe me hes just tryin to play it anit about hard to get etc... its all a game to him dont trust him... in case u did .. dont let him think he got a chance i mean after this.. hell no dont give him a chance he could be doing this to anyone ... DONT TRUST HIM .. red FLAGGGGGGGGGGGGGg
May I ask something frankly ? You don't have to answer it here, but just think about it.
What amusement/satisfaction are you getting out of this situation? My hallucination is that it's fulfilling one of your deeper needs (need for attention, approval, sympathy, connection... or something else).
Hold on. Don't freak out just yet .
Think about it. And then see HOW ELSE you can fulfill those needs (through means that will make you grow and make you more confident, insha'Allah). Take on activities that will challenge you, but which you'll enjoy doing. [I don't know about your hobbies or interests. I would choose something along those lines that also connect with my learning and growth.]
Just "knowing" what to do is NOT enough! Do it!
Make MASSIVE du'aa' and take MASSIVE actions, insha'Allah.
May Allaah grant you immense success in both lives!
respecting everyones opinion, i think we should stop asking her if shes enjoying this, shes clearly not.Shes confused as to whats happend, how it got to this stage and how all hell may break loose if she tells someone.
Its a girl thing, only a girl can understand this, to put it frankly.
Sister, im really sorry for your messy situation, to watse time thinking about how you let this happpen, is useless, you cant turn back time, but you can prepare for the future, so thats what you should put your efforts into.
Everyones telling you to tell someone, but i know how you might be feeling about this, Its not easy to go and say this when you know, just as some mistakenly (ofcourse) made assumptions here, whoever you tell will immediately think the same and instead of getting support and consolation, you might land yourself up in a bigger mess.
Follow all the advice given, but if this psyco continues, especially if trys to touch you again, then obviously you knw, that he knws, you havent told anyone and wont be doing so.Hes taking advantage of that and might even be thinking your enjoying this, by not telling, you may just be giving out the completely wrong signal to his half a brain cell.Thats when you really have to go and tell no matter what the consequences.
Good on you for smacking him, you should have thrown in a punch too.
My heart, so precious,
I won't trade for a hundred thousand souls.
Your one smile takes it for free.Rumi
Its a girl thing, only a girl can understand this, to put it frankly.
Hmm... That's a real possibility, although I've seen the sister coaches ask the same question I asked above. I hope it doesn't sound too strange. That question has nothing to do with accusation; it's totally about self-reflection and looking at the root to find the best solution.
Khayr, insha'Allah. May Allaah grant you serenity!
Why is there another Anonymous posting? I hope that no one thought that it was me. I didnt post for days..
But I see that the insults never stopped. Sharif, I dont know what u are talking about. I would appreciate it if u exited this thread if u have nothing of value to say. I dont appreciate u making me look like I want "attention" or however else u've put it. You dont know jack about me, so Stop labelling me as a naive lil girl who wants attention.
I do have a life thank u. I also have hobbies, n I dont need to list them for for u either.
You''ll never know how much u've hurt me with ur post. I really hope that Allah forgives u because right now I cant.
The reason I started this thread was to share my problem with Muslims whom I thought wud advice me n some have alhamdulilah. The rest who took the mic n just kept insulting me, Thanks.
I have come him across in a store. He kept starring at me. He called me, And I didnt answer his calls. He also followed me n kept saying, "I know Ive made mistakes pls give me a chance, I missed u". I havent been out of the house for days...Anyway I didnt let his words effect me.
I have also decided not to tell my mother as I first intended doing. Telling this anyone is like admitting I've been defeated.
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