Calling out to all brothers and sisters for help please...

sis think of it like this that relationship was not meant to be Allah swt only wants whats best for us and that was not what was best for you at that time. And inshaallah you will get better than that because after hardship comes ease and Allah never burdens a person more than they can Handel. And just look at the fact that you are now practicing Alhamdulillah try and concentrate on your studies and try staying away from the crowd that know him try and improve your iman by reading Quran and asking Allah swt for help there is not one tear that drops from your eye that Allah doesn't know about stay strong and determined. try hanging around with more righteous practing sisters who stay away from free mixing i think you feel guity becouse you feel it was your fault that you split up but even if you were the most kindest dearest person to him if it was not meant to be it would have ended at some point any way so dont feel that you were to blame lot forwards not back and ask Allah swt to keep you strong and on the right path inshaallah

listen why worry about what hasnt come yet? seriously?

its like me about to approach a bend in the road terrified another car will come zooming past yet i havent got a clue whats to come. its silly to be honest

you dont know what Allaahs got planned for you, no one has any idea what the future holds, so i say relax and take it one step at a time


you got today right? make the most of it inshaAllaah, stop stressing bout 2moro

format_quote Originally Posted by IbnAbdulHakim

listen why worry about what hasnt come yet? seriously?

AssalamuAlaykum

^^ Ditto

Sis, you KNOW you're gonna be going to uni, you KNOW you're gonna see him and you KNOW you gonna have to deal with it, but sis...also know that anxiety before it's time is pointless.

You've been given some good advice masha'Allah so all ima add is:

Qul HasbiyAllahu '3alayhi Yatawakkalul Mutawakkiloon - Say, Sufficient is Allah for me! In Him trust those who put their trust.

Take care insha'Allah

WassalamuAlaykum

Dear Sister,

I think the best idea is to stay away from those people and your ex at uni. I know you may think that you'll be lonely. But that isn't true. There are tons of kind people out there that you haven't noticed. But it might take time to find them. But what's wrong with that? nothing because, Sister, you need to stop creating awkward and detrimental relationships with others, and spend time nurturing your iman and patching yourself up, and especially create a better relationship with Allah (swt). This alone time will give you a perfect oppurtunity to concentrate on your iman building!Again, Why should you be lonely?!? You aren't alone, in fact you are doing the right thing!!! YOU ARE CHOOSING ALLAH (SWT) over your sins!! How do you think your Lord will Judge you on the day of Judgement, when He created you to worship Him, but instead spent all your time thinking about your ex. So every time you think about your ex, Think about how much you love Allah (swt). Sister, you were willing to hurt yourself for a human, but you are not willing to sacrifice your sinning for Allah (swt)?
When you build your relationship with Allah (swt) through good deeds and praying, you learn to place your trust in Allah (swt). You may not have enough strength to face all these obstacles by yourself. The fact is, however, you are not alone, Allah (swt) is with you at all time, and He is the Best Helper. He is Sustainer of the Universe. He helps the affairs of believers. So increase your faith, so you may increase your trust with Allah (swt)! and face any obstacle!

And remember, back in the Prophets days, the Sahaba would have to face the ridicule of their own kind! many times it would go beyond ridicule! They would throw stones and call the Prophet and his followers liars! In battle, the Sahaba would have to fight against their own family members and "friends" to defend Islam. They did not compromise anything about Islam when it came down to their family members and neighbors!! How difficult should it be to defend yourself against people who I assume to be irreligious! So what if those people judge you? Allah (swt) is the Best Judge, and those people don't know you're trying to change. So ignore them, and continue with your duties.

Some replies from your other threads:

format_quote Originally Posted by londonfog

hey, i can understand wut you are going thru, but you have to realise you both got hurt in this, just not at the same time, also know that allah tests everyone in this life, i.e everyone has some sort of issues but if you believe and have faith in allah, life will go on. Your relationship with this guy was wrong from the start and you shoudl be thankful you are no longer in a haram relationship....stop calling him and erase him from your heart, dont acknowledge him wen you see him...
as for going back to uni, you dont have any other choice do you? I'm not being harsh but its your turn to be strong and not care wut people say, if your friends are temporary why are you hanging out wit them? I've always believed in having a friend for life, not for some time period only, choose your friends carefully.
Most importantly, become close to Allah because at the end of the day, only He can save you. I'm not saying this is gona be easy but life wasnt exactly meant to be easy.

hope this helps

format_quote Originally Posted by arabianprincess

salam wa 3lykom

well i must say im proud of u cuz u realized ur mistakes... now all u gotta do is avoid him ... n if its meant to be it will happen..i mean there is no reason for the haram ways, some ppl be like oh i dont believe in the whole arranged marraige .. how its gonna work... oh plz.... god made it that way for A REASON..... n he knows BEST so just focus on the religion............. n n ur school n u ll do fine inshallah .. good luck.. p.s u anit bad u were just lost........ salamz

format_quote Originally Posted by Sharif

ma sha Allah! Some awesome advice. Just to add:

1.
What lessons can you learn from that experience? (write them down)

2.
How can you use that experience to make you a better, stronger, more confident, and more resilient person?

3.
What three new amazingly cool and exciting goals you can set for your new semester? What actions steps will you have to take to get them done successfully?

4.
How can you prepare yourself to be an excellent muslimah and an outstanding slave of Allah? [You'll find your heart's contentment in just that, insha'Allah.]

Remember, it's not what happens to you that matters. It's what you DO with what happens to you--that matters! So, let that experience shape you to become the next version of you. Can you do that?

Am I making any sense?

format_quote Originally Posted by anonymous

AssalamuAlaykum My beautiful sis...

You know....matters of the heart are one thing you will never find a clear-cut 'answer' on, you'll never find a solution, a cure for a broken heart...But sometimes we all need to realise our worth, we need to realise that we make plans and so does Allah (swt), but He is the best of planners.

Firstly, when we hurt somebody, we end up breaking our own hearts in the process, because of the guilt we feel. Most often than not...the person we hurt will make us feel guilty for having treated them in such a way. The thing is sis, it takes two to form a relationship, it takes two for things to end, and thats you and the brother. But one point I want to make is that it takes TWO to move on and make a fresh start also. And that TWO is YOURSELF and ALLAH (swt).....people come and people go, but if your relationship with Allah stays strong and true then you will be the happiest of people bi'ithnillah.

Sis....I know that heartbreak is a killer, there was a time when I was lying awake at night, I could literally feel something breaking in me, my heart felt as though it was being torn apart....But realisation is a great thing, my realisation was that NOBODY could help me apart from Allah (swt) and I think maybe there's several things you need to realise, and you need to realise them on your own.

Firstly sister, you were hurt over the fact that this brother ended it with you, you know what I say? I say masha'Allah, masha'Allah that he had the courage and the nerve to end a haram relationship, sis thank Allah (swt) and remember that if marriage was the right choice for the two of you, nobody at all could have stopped it against Allah's plan.

Sometimes we look back and reflect on some of the things we did in life, we regret and we wish we hadnt done some things, we wonder if things will ever go back to normal and if we will ever get past this stage in life....but sis, life is strange, it makes us hurt before it heals, it makes us lose before we gain and cry before we smile. But that doesnt mean we should give up, we should continue to make du'aa for whatever it is we want, because we should do what we can do, and Allah will do what we cannot do.

You say you're ashamed of what you did after you broke up etc....Sis show that shame to Allah (swt) repent sincerely, if you had told me that you hadnt apologised to those you had hurt, I would have told you to, but since you have, I'll say that you've completed your duty, now it is up to your friends to fulfil their duty as friends and stand by you no matter what, because thats what friends are for.

Personally speaking, I've done many wacky and crazy things over the years, said things to my friends, behaved in strange ways etc but at the end of the day, they always forgave me, because the sign of a true friend is that they'll stand by you through your darkest hours, they'll be there for you, they'll wipe your tears when you cry...and I dont mean to be all sentimental but its true, our girlfriends are so much more important than we give them credit for, and if your friends arent there for you now, or if you're doubting whether or not they'll be there for you, then these arent the sort of people who deserve your friendship.

You sound a little like me btw sis, if I'd ever done something to hurt someody, I'd be afraid, a little nervous of how they might respond to me the next time I met them, and I know that going back to uni will be a massive step for you, but I always found that making du'aa helped, because you know....if worry and stress got us anywhere....we'd probably be the happiest of people, but the fact of the matter is, that it doesnt, that worrying our heads over something that has not happened yet, or something you have no control over, will do nothing but increase your anxiety, know that you are in the right now, for you have repented, you have asked for fogiveness and that is all you need. All that is left now is for you to go to uni next month, with a smile on your face, knowing that Allah (swt) will help you through this, stay strong hun and stay true to yourself, you will meet new people and they will help you get through this stage in life.

And maybe there's one thing you should know, and you may already know about guys is that they move on, when they're hurt they may show it but they heal quick, so although you say you hurt him but he now seems to be happy, its probably because he isnt hurting anymore and that he has forgotten everything and time has healed him, for time is a healer. So dont worry about him anymore, look after yourself now for you're the most important person in this, they can talk, they can give you the cold shoulder, but you have moved on also, you have changed your ways, and I think it takes somebody special, somebody who has a beautiful pure heart and somebody who is true to themselves to not bother about what the people say. For people will say a lot of things, but the one who created you is the most important one, its His (swt) opinion that counts and when you have been wronged, He will be the one to hear your call, He (swt) is Sami3 ash-Shakwa (The hearer of complaints/cries) ... so no matter what happens next month, no matter what anybody says, go back to uni with confidence. You have dont NOTHING wrong sis, nothing at all.

If people dont talk to you, if you have mutual friends, its time to make new ones dont you think...At the end of the day, how long is life? Save up for the aakhirah, friends will come and go. But also, this must be your second/third year at uni? Insha'Allah it'll fly past and then you'll move on to another phase in life, people forgive and people forget, its in our nature, nobody will bear a grudge for long over any of the things you did...Just remain positive.

And lastly sis, if anybody dares mention your past, keep one thing in mind, 'Every saint has a past, and every sinner has a future'....And I pray Allah (swt) rewards you in abundance for your patience and for your faith in Him. Ameen!

format_quote Originally Posted by anonymous

Ameen at your du'aas sis, may The Almighty reward you with much better. Ameen.

Sis you say you're jealous? Jealous of what exactly? Jealous that these other sisters are the ones doing wrong and that you're not, jealous that they're still talking to random non-mehram men and you're not? Jealous that Allah (swt) gave you a way out of a haram relationship and that the both of you have taken it? Sis think about it realistically and you'll know that you've come out of this situation the better and stronger person.

Sis dont worry about anything, whats done is done and nothing can change that, whats important now is that you carry on with your life, with your studies and without a care in the world about these people. I know its natural to worry about what people think about you, but I also know that to try and make them think good of you is useless and a waste of time.

May Allah (swt) help you sis. Ameen. And also on a side-note....Ramadhan is coming closer right, it'd be easier for you to go uni....and come straight home...dont linger about, that way you wont have to bump into him and you will also have more time for dhikr and the like

Take care insha'Allah sis

format_quote Originally Posted by F0z14

Salaam, thank you everybody 4 ur posts, i really do appreciate u taking out the time to reply to my thread, may Allah SWT grant u success and happiness in this life and the hereafter inshallah! i know what i have 2 do, leave my friends from last year behind, and if anything i know im the 1 who has benefited from 'losing' these so called friends because it was haraam 4 me to be friends with guys anyway. i realy do believe He is looking out 4 me up there, alhamdulilah.

tranistion sister, thanks 4 ur reply, u putting it like that really woke me up abit, i appreciate it jhazakallah

Wa'alaykum salam

Ameen at the du'aas sis. May Allah (swt) keep you content and happy alwaysss! Ameen!

WassalamuAlaykum

Asalaam alaykum my dear brothers and sisters! hope u are all in good health. i just wanted to share something with u... i dont feel upset today, or anxious even.

Wa'alaykum salam sis!

Awww masha'Allah you dunno how much your post made me grin! (check ur PM btw) Alhamdulillah, after difficulty comes ease, there's no doubt about it

i was even looking at some pictures from uni last year and i didnt really feel anythin, i was actualy thinkin i cant believe i went out with this guy. alhamdulilah i think i am gettin there slowly, inshallah

And I hope u deleted like I said

but i feel abit weird, because i dont feel upset or anythin and im confused about how i feel? this is probably because for the past 5 months non stop i was hurting and stressing and thinkin 24.7 i dont know how to feel now

Allah has blessed you, allowed you to move on. He has bestowed His sakeenah upon you. What is there to be confused about sis?

Thats it....You're freeeeeeee

But do not care, because you are worth much more. You have given up something for the sake of Allah and your Eemaan, to become a better Muslim. A serious good advice is, to never talk to him. When he passes by, look away. Do not go crazy about avoiding places where he might go, because he doesn't own those places and this doesn't make your situation better by avoiding living your life at University. You have to go inside the lion's cage and ignore the lion (him). It might seem hard and very difficult, which it is, no one claims things like these are easy, but there have been many who have gone through situations similiar to yours and one thing is for sure; you can survive only if you want to.

Rather than seeing going back to University as an horrible trip back to the past, see it as an new chance for change, in yourself and your grades, your Eemaan and your attitude. Yes, he talks to girls, but what does it really matter? He doesn't care about you, he has forgotten about you, you have to understand that and accept it. Somewhere in this world there is someone who cares about you, do not waste your time and love on this person who clearly doesn't. Realize that, the love you give is only worth the person who fears Allah, for then this person will more fear to break your heart and be careful to drag himself and you, into sin.

My Best Wishes, dearest Sister

format_quote Originally Posted by F0z14

im feeling so down today, i dont know why! well i do know... hearing about him talking to girls, my mates. it hurts so much still. he doesnt care abt me

if he dosnt care, why do u?