salam to all
i am worried sick abt my bro who is like 25 and is crazily into internet chatting & porn & girls.
for the past 3-4 years he has changed a lot ... he isnt even praying anymore. fasting without praying isnt going to be of any help.
he has starts shouting at us all ... my dad, mom & me. im sure he will end up in hell & drag us all with him.
its just that his friends & all the girls he knows glorify him too much ... he thinks he is some big shot ... sometimes i even cry at what fate he will end in and what my parents will have to suffer at his hands.
he has no sense of shame, righteousness or anything.
at this moment ... i have been waiting for 2 hours just to go with him to the grocery store to buy food stuff ... and he is just sitting there chatting to those -------- girls & guys on the net. when you say something to him .,... it has no effect ... seem as if he is deaf & dumb ... just chats & chats ..
tell me what to do ... if killing wasnt haram ... i would have killed him!
its crazy seeing all these Muslim Brotehrs and Sister who are fasting but not Praying..they jus dont understand that Prayer is what going to be junged first
i wish i could give you advice..i need some myself
Verily, His Command, when He intends a thing, is only that He says to it, Be! and it is.
Try talking to him, lecture him about hell fire, tell him about this life being short and his real life being in the aakhirah,
If talking doesn't work,
Pray for him, ask Allaah to guide him and rectify his condition,
Ask your rents to pray for him, no matter how £$%&*( he is, he needs you, and this is no time to ignore him or disown him, if your parents prayer does not work, whose will?
You should try and talk things through as a family, you on your own cannot change him, and realise that he cannot change overnight, so you gotta be patient,
I really do feel sad for you and your fam 2 b gin thru all this,
Ask Allaah to grant your family Sabr,
He may not want to leave his freind but it seems to me that he is picking up bad traits from them also, so maybe he can get new ones, move away for a bit with the family if you have to,
Tell him that Allaah does not need him to stop eating and drinking when he is doing all this, what is the point?
With all this lecturing he will soon come to his senses,
May Allaah grant me and him guidance and make it easier for us, Ameen
May Allaah protect you and your family from the hellfire, Ameen.#
salam to all
i am worried sick abt my bro who is like 25 and is crazily into internet chatting & porn & girls.
for the past 3-4 years he has changed a lot ... he isnt even praying anymore. fasting without praying isnt going to be of any help.
he has starts shouting at us all ... my dad, mom & me. im sure he will end up in hell & drag us all with him.
its just that his friends & all the girls he knows glorify him too much ... he thinks he is some big shot ... sometimes i even cry at what fate he will end in and what my parents will have to suffer at his hands.
he has no sense of shame, righteousness or anything.
at this moment ... i have been waiting for 2 hours just to go with him to the grocery store to buy food stuff ... and he is just sitting there chatting to those -------- girls & guys on the net. when you say something to him .,... it has no effect ... seem as if he is deaf & dumb ... just chats & chats ..
tell me what to do ... if killing wasnt haram ... i would have killed him!
I can kind of relate to you Anon (dunno if u a bro or sis)
My brother who is also 25 Astagfirullah, he is a shame. His final abode is hell if he doesnt change his ways. I call him "women basher", in fact i have cut all ties with him even though we both live under the same roof, what he did to me is unforgiveable. (he beats his wife up, same with me, smokes weed, drugs, drinks, gamble, the list can go on....so ashamed to have a bro like him)
So i suggest, if after giving that link about Ahmed... if he doesn't change his ways then let him be.
Allah SWT says:
Verily the hypocrites will be in the lowest depth (grade) of the Fire, no helper will you find for them (An-Nisaa' 4:145
Whomsoever Allah guides then there is NO ONE who can misguide him and whomsoever Allah leaves to stray then there is NO ONE who can guide him
With me i cant wait to get married and move soo far away where i dont even have to see his disgusting shameful face again. And i mean it. My blood boils everytime i see him.
if he dont listen to your parents then kick him out AFTER giving a lecture of how disgusting his become (again not you giving the lecture but your parents)
he just needs a wake up call sis, give it to him, show him how shameless and disgusting his become
if i was in your situation i woulda given him the propa emotional yet strict and stern shouting session followed by a "leave this house if u gnna cause us all grief you aint worth it you sick piece o...." i would say be gentle but you already said it right? guys shameless, so hand him the mouth and stick together i say !
you get the picture
-
My tears testify that i have a heart
yet i feel me and shaytan never part
-
[QUOTE=IbnAbdulHakim;1009682]your mum and dad should fix him up
if he dont listen to your parents then kick him out AFTER giving a lecture of how disgusting his become (again not you giving the lecture but your parents)
he just needs a wake up call sis, give it to him, show him how shameless and disgusting his become
if i was in your situation i woulda given him the propa emotional yet strict and stern shouting session followed by a "leave this house if u gnna cause us all grief you aint worth it you sick piece o...." i would say be gentle but you already said it right? guys shameless, so hand him the mouth and stick together i say !
Bro, it isn't that easy, well not for the MOTHERS, even though he has put my parents through hell, my mum so many times have told him to get the hell out, but she doesnt mean it because she knows he will keep coming back bcuz he has no where to go. I mean if i was her, i would beat the hell out of him, teaching him a lesson on what its like to be beaten up.
You know my mum sides with him over me and im like SubhanAllah, mum what is he compared to me and today she started having a go at me when i said something to her about him and hinted to her a Qur'anic verse. Astagfirullah.
Bro, it isn't that easy, well not for the MOTHERS, even though he has put my parents through hell, my mum so many times have told him to get the hell out, but she doesnt mean it because she knows he will keep coming back bcuz he has no where to go. I mean if i was her, i would beat the hell out of him, teaching him a lesson on what its like to be beaten up.
You know my mum sides with him over me and im like SubhanAllah, mum what is he compared to me and today she started having a go at me when i said something to her about him and hinted to her a Qur'anic verse. Astagfirullah.
sis try to be more open minded bout ur mum, it'll increase your love and understanding and give you better patience.
my mum was like that also, she always sided with the elder bros BECAUSE she was raised in a COMPLETELY different environment back home. Indoctrinations are NOT easy to get rid of! so she has a different mentality HELP HER, if a stone can soften by water over years then surely you can help her understand.
whats your dad doing? his the one who should be kicking 4$$ here, everytime his online doing disgusting stuff that internet cable is suppose to get pulled, whats your dad doing?
-
My tears testify that i have a heart
yet i feel me and shaytan never part
-
MashaAllah that is good. As for the praying insha'Allah he only does not pray due to lazyness.
May be you should try ask him for advice? I have a feeling you are a sister, maybe you could ask him what to do if a guy approaches you, and ask him are all guys the same i.e. they just take advantage of girls, and why do they do that?
(I think this will makehim think about his actions and his responsability towards you)
The path is long but I hope we meet,
After the grave and the Day, in paradise in bliss upon a reclined seat.
A traveler traveling - travelled from shirk to tawheed,
If I'm remembered for anything - let it be the Mercy I seek.
My brother doesnt fast nor does he pray, give zakat, NOTHING.
This is the reason why my mum had a go at me in the morning. I asked why doesn't he fast? She said oh he feel sicks. And i was like subhanAllah is that any excuse. I said there are loads of other people out there in life threatning situations who fast and would do anything to fast.
And then she chucks it back in my face by saying oh why didnt you read taravih last night and im like
sis try to be more open minded bout ur mum, it'll increase your love and understanding and give you better patience.
my mum was like that also, she always sided with the elder bros BECAUSE she was raised in a COMPLETELY different environment back home. Indoctrinations are NOT easy to get rid of! so she has a different mentality HELP HER, if a stone can soften by water over years then surely you can help her understand.
whats your dad doing? his the one who should be kicking 4$$ here, everytime his online doing disgusting stuff that internet cable is suppose to get pulled, whats your dad doing?
That adive more for anon bro, i dont know if my bro chats and watches porn, i will not say anything to him, he'll end up cracking me in the face again like he did last time. He spat in ma face and then the next minute punched me in the eye.....
My brother doesnt fast nor does he pray, give zakat, NOTHING.
This is the reason why my mum had a go at me in the morning. I asked why doesn't he fast? She said oh he feel sicks. And i was like subhanAllah is that any excuse. I said there are loads of other people out there in life threatning situations who fast and would do anything to fast.
And then she chucks it back in my face by saying oh why didnt you read taravih last night and im like
Well maybe that's the reason he does not fast?
The path is long but I hope we meet,
After the grave and the Day, in paradise in bliss upon a reclined seat.
A traveler traveling - travelled from shirk to tawheed,
If I'm remembered for anything - let it be the Mercy I seek.
That adive more for anon bro, i dont know if my bro chats and watches porn, i will not say anything to him, he'll end up cracking me in the face again like he did last time. He spat in ma face and then the next minute punched me in the eye.....
I aint scared of him at all, he is a wimp,
He did WHAT?!?!?! *mutters swear words under breath* who the god daymn hell does he think he is?!?!
dont be shocked serene, im not,life has shown me enough, i dont think i will ever be shocked again, people like that exist, as my teacher woud say, the world is not all hunky dory, especially in our homes.
men who hit women, whether it be be their mothers, sisters or wives, have no respect for others, least of all for themselves, they are insecuree cowards and think it an act of manliness after beating up women the Prophet described as 'fragile like glass' ......
the root cause of all these problems are mothers, like you said your mother cannot hear a word against him, if my sons were to lay a finger on my daughters i would really punish them!
ukhti, u are so brave saying your not afraid, but as long as u r in that house, try not to get in his way, and protect yourself, quit giving advice to ur mother about him, she is too drunk with motherly affection to heed a word u say.You just focus on your emaan, and have patience and hope in Allahs reward and mercy, who will surely compensate you generously for your afflictions, you are in my Duas, and please dont hesitate to pm me if you want to talk
My heart, so precious,
I won't trade for a hundred thousand souls.
Your one smile takes it for free.Rumi
One day sister , he will wake up, theres nothing you can do, end of the day , its his life,,if he loses everyone , he can only blame your self.
Your mum will never chuck him out, the more bad guys are , the more a mother shows them love, thats how mothers are sis, they wont stop caring,
If hes being violent sister, please stay away as much as you can, you say your not scared of him, neither the less we dont want you getting hurt.
May Allah swt give him hidaya. all you can do is wait i guess
One day sister , he will wake up, theres nothing you can do, end of the day , its his life,,if he loses everyone , he can only blame your self.
Your mum will never chuck him out, the more bad guys are , the more a mother shows them love, thats how mothers are sis, they wont stop caring,
If hes being violent sister, please stay away as much as you can, you say your not scared of him, neither the less we dont want you getting hurt.
May Allah swt give him hidaya. all you can do is wait i guess
Jzk Khair sis, you are so right. In fact i am fed up off it all. He acts like he's the innocent one. Like you said stay away from him i dont even go anywhere near him, i have no reason to.
It's not the first time he punched me in the face, he has done it like 4-5 times and you know what, Allah will punish him, and he deserves whatever punishment Allah gives him.
I just want to get married, get the hell outta this madhouse and make something out of my life. I havent got the strength and energy to take all this crap in day in and day out.
I have many other problems as well. It just come to a point where it all is getting too much for me, and i am trying my best to have more sabr, but it is really hard
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