I feel so frustrat3ed and confused. When I read upon Islam, I see that Islam encourages us to get married young. Than I look into my parents thinking and its so different. I have recently tried to tell my mother that I am interested to get married. She began to freak out, and started reminding me that I have just turned 16. Just because I am 16 doesn't mean that I am blind/deaf and my brain is dead. Another shocker is the fact that the guy I want to marry is not an afghani, which shatters my parents universe. Hes of Somali origin, Ive known him ever since I was 10. He's an amazing Muslim, is very righteous, never misses his prayers (He's very handsome mashallah). And we love each other. I know that he's only 18 and not wealthy, but thats ok with me. He's a good student so he will make money from his profession when he graduates enshaALlah. I know that my parents think that I dont know what love is, but I honestly do. We went to the same schools, our families know each other. Not closely, just as muslims in one community. I have heard my parents speak in their bedroom, "she doesnt know what shes doing, shes bringing shame upon herself, wasting her beauty, her heritage, there are many afghan men who would die to marry her". I was so terrified to hear that. What am I? Am I not a Muslimah, who was given the intellect, the heart, the right to choose her own husband? Why can't they come together for me and give me the same beautiful wedding my sis got (except she married an afghan). Duas pls. and some advice.
May Allah make it easy for you sister who made this thread and give you whats best for you ameen!
If things do not work out and your wali does not except then remember Allah is the best of planners we can plan our lifes all we want but no plan is better then Allah's plan!
Do you discuss this issue with your parents frequently? If so, are the arguments and ways to tell you off the same as in the beginning?
InshaAllah, have patience. A year is nothing compared to what some people have had to wait. My parents always say "patience will be rewarded" and inshaAllah this will happen to you sister.
“If only I had checked myself”
—
Guy who wrecked himself
True leaders don't create followers...
.... They create new leaders.
Umm ul-Shaheed read through the thread cause i have pretty much answered those questions before.
I have waited almost one year so far but nothing changed, I might as well wait until i'm all grey and sixty.
Just relax sis, like the others have said you are still young. If you really want to marry each other, then you will wait for each other insha Allah. Try and get the Imam involved or an alim.
Aalims and Imams do not have any affect on asian families at all. In fact, if the sister is asian, then she will make things worse for herself if outsiders get involved in a family matter. Your parents always know what is best for you.
If you have a high sexual drive, and that is the reason why you want to marry, then I suggest you start fasting as much as you can. And keep your gaze lowered, for I find that when the gaze is lowered the human is fine, when the gaze raises upwards, the shaytaan ignites a spark of desire within the human, and they turn into a beast and want to fulfil their desire.
Have sabr and trust in Allah. If your wedding is not happening and its been a year, there is a bigger plan behind it. Just relax.
Aalims and Imams do not have any affect on asian families at all. In fact, if the sister is asian, then she will make things worse for herself if outsiders get involved in a family matter. Your parents always know what is best for you.
If you have a high sexual drive, and that is the reason why you want to marry, then I suggest you start fasting as much as you can. And keep your gaze lowered, for I find that when the gaze is lowered the human is fine, when the gaze raises upwards, the shaytaan ignites a spark of desire within the human, and they turn into a beast and want to fulfil their desire.
Have sabr and trust in Allah. If your wedding is not happening and its been a year, there is a bigger plan behind it. Just relax.
dear brother your still young, wait untill you are atleast over 18, for example 19 or 20, then you have full judgement and inshallah can have total control over your life.
Hey there! Looks like you're enjoying the discussion, but you're not signed up for an account.
When you create an account, we remember exactly what you've read, so you always come right back where you left off. You also get notifications, here and via email, whenever new posts are made. And you can like posts and share your thoughts. Sign Up
Quote
Hide
Looks like you're enjoying the discussion, but you're not signed up for an account.
Bookmarks