Can I...

**Lonely Gal** · 10-07-2008

pray ishtikhara to see if my husband is cheating or doing unlawful things?

**chacha_jalebi** · 10-07-2008

sister you can always do istikhara for whatever problem you have

also, are you like convinved/sure he is cheatin on you? because its not right to suspect anyone, and we are told to avoid suspicion, but however if he is, then give him the boot or if you can work thins out with him!

i hope Allah (swt) eases your difficulties,

**bewildred** · 10-07-2008

The word "Istikhara" means asking for guidance. When someone has problems, one must make extra duas.

**Musaafirah** · 10-07-2008

Istikharah salaat is for guidance not to pry as someone else has already mentioned.
Thing is sis, as a muslim you must not be suspicious as this affects only your health.
For all you know, you could go through all this to just find out that nothing was the issue to begin with.
I apologise for sounding harsh and acknowledge that I am not in your situation, but you should leave your trust in Allah.
May Allah make it easier for you.

**Lonely Gal** · 10-08-2008

i dont wana feel like this, but as there has been incidents that have made me question what is going on, I dont know how can I cannot be suspicious.
I pray to Allah swt that show me and guide me to what the truth is so I can put closure on this topic so that if my thoughts are incorrect, I can once and for all get rid of them and live a better life.

**Zahida** · 10-08-2008

:s Men are m,en no matter what race, colour religion. except i suppose you don't relly think that Muslim men are like this but, trust me some are doesn't mean all are just those unfortunate one who have lost their way and deen............

Originally Posted by maryam87

this is scarry, wallah i thought there is no such thing as muslim men cheating on their wives
I feel so niave now
May allah (swt) guide u

**Zahida** · 10-08-2008

Lonelygirl. I hope you are good. I have been work all day,then various things in evening, busy with my children etc etc. Anyway i do hope that you have prayed istikhaara and feel more at ease. I really did at first feel that this is wrong because Allah will let you know if He wills, i felt your reason for praying Istikharaa was wrong. But as i progressed throughout the day i thought that if you did pray Istikhaara, it might put your mind more at rest, and whatever is between you and Allah is between you and Him alone, so i really shouldn't have been more forcefull with my advice not to pray the istikhaara........... I have felt really angry since i read your e-mail:grumbling, but you are not alone there are others out there suffering too, but it depends on you how to deal with it/resolve it.......... Just want to share with you what someone said to me once "we could break his legs but it won't take away the begharaati"........... What to do eh???? Just want you to know am thinking of you and you are in my dua.

Originally Posted by Lonely Gal

i dont wana feel like this, but as there has been incidents that have made me question what is going on, I dont know how can I cannot be suspicious.
I pray to Allah swt that show me and guide me to what the truth is so I can put closure on this topic so that if my thoughts are incorrect, I can once and for all get rid of them and live a better life.

**Lonely Gal** · 10-09-2008

hey hope your all well.
InshAllah i will pray ishtikhara today. I have no solid proof about him cheatin that is why I want guidance and help into finding out what is going on.This is affecting the way I am with him cos I cant ask him outright, yet I cant behave as everything is hunk dory. I feel this is the only way I can get peace of mind and move in a direction, depending what the outcome is. If its not tru, I pray Allah swt takes these thoughts away from me and guides me more into our relationship, making it strong.

**Cabdullahi** · 10-09-2008

Qur'an 49:12
O ye who believe! avoid suspicion as much (as possible):
for suspicion in some cases is a sin:
and spy not on each other nor speak ill of each other behind their backs.
Would any of you like to eat the flesh of his dead brother?
Nay ye would abhor it...but fear Allah:
for Allah is Oft-Returning Most Merciful..

sister pray itsikhara inshallah and allah will help you
just stay strong!

**Lonely Gal** · 10-09-2008

thanks, I know its wrong thats why i pray i find out one way or another asap.
Allah swt knows best.

**5AJ** · 10-09-2008

well you could be a bit more practical and maybe try goin through his phone? Or perhaps look for tell-tale marks on his neck, see if he comes home smelling of perfume maybe? Or I'm pretty sure that a few years ago there was a website where you could track somebodys mobile via a map and see where they are during the day

**Lonely Gal** · 10-09-2008

been through phone and theres numbers i do not recognise, that are only dialled and received during his work hours.. he always had his phone on him but on the odd occasion forgot abt it and i ceased the opportunity.. recently, he has started leavein phone around but all call are deleted, the last calls are shown from days ago, which makes me think he is now deleting the history cos if the calls were innocent before.. why would they stop??
When i ring the numbers.. no answer what so ever.
The person I also suspect it with, i have walked in on them on many occasions where they suddenly go quiet and one wonders off secs after i arrive..

**5AJ** · 10-09-2008

the other option open to you is a bit of the old reverse physcology but you've got to be a strong minded individual to carry it off. Give him a slight taste of his own medicine. Although you're prob burning inside you can act as though you're not bothered by anything he does and make out that it doesn't affect you at all. Believe me, he'll soon show a change of behaviour.

**Lonely Gal** · 10-09-2008

he so badly has not got a clue that im tinkin wat im tinkin

**5AJ** · 10-09-2008

he must know that you suspect him othrwise he wouldn't be deleting his call history and walking out of the room everytime you turn up and catch him and 'her' together.

You obviously know this woman you suspect, is she related to you?

**Lonely Gal** · 10-09-2008

he's becoming smart thats all it is..
yes shes related which is the hardest thing to cope with.

**5AJ** · 10-09-2008

Well before you take up anybodys advice from this website are there any children to be considered in this marriage? If there are then it's a whole different situation

**Lonely Gal** · 10-09-2008

nope thankfully.. just me and him..

**Lonely Gal** · 10-09-2008

I wont just up and take up on advise cos no1 ov nos the situation as clearly as i do, but the I am glad for all ur advise and help. Allah swt is the only one who can truly help me so please make dua for me.. i will be forever thankful

**5AJ** · 10-09-2008

well that's a diifferent ball game then! There's so much that you can do to drop hints that you know somethng's up... starting to leaving books or DVDs about physotic female killers around the house is a good starting point...then maybe start watching Desperate Housewives and tell him that it's your fave program on TV - he'll start to worry!