Can I...

I personally wouldn't recommend that you di Istikhaara for this purpose. Definately not. Sister why do you want to know what he does? Its only going to hurt you, why are you punishing yourself if he is cheating on you thats his sin/crime you will gain nothing by finding out and confronting him but pain and hurt. I would leave him be. If he is doing this as a married man he is Answerable to Allaha[Q:enough!TE=Lonely Gal;1019527]pray ishtikhara to see if my husband is cheating or doing unlawful things?[/QUOTE]

OK. I understand what you are saying. When my husband did the same to me i was so full of anger how dare he etc etc and i played detective and found out things that i rather would not have known about him. I went through his phone pockets everything that a suspecting woman/wife does, and what i found out only hurt me. I recently found out he has facebook and is chatting with various women. If i confront him what do you think will happen? I don't know sis i would still say don't pray istikhaara for this purpose. If Allah wills for this to be out in the open it will come out remember nothing stays hidden . In the meantime console yourself by prayers, salaat whatever you can and comfort yourself by knowing that you are not committing a sindo you catch my drift? He was having an affair for six years and playing happy families with me. The girl involved phoned me on numerous occassions to tell me. When i questioned my husband he used to deny it, so he was a liar as well as acheat. And guess what sister..... when their affair ended it wasn't nice for him!!!!!!!! so you see sometimes and i believe strongly in this your patience will be rewarded.

format_quote Originally Posted by Lonely Gal

how else can i find out.. everytime i pray to Allah swt if its tru then let me find the evidence.. so much thoughts and doubt go in ma head, and if he is cheatin I do not want to be with him. I dont know what to do. please everyone pray that I find out the truth what ever it may be

I know what you are saying. But if he is doing this then it is his problem ok? no-one can solve your problems but you, i can offer you advice and sympathise with your situation. The way i picked myself up was to live for my children and concentrate on making me a better person and leaving him to face the problems he is creating for himself. He is still doing it, and there is nothing i can do but pray that in the end i will be rewardd for my patience. He has committed the sin not you so don't torture and punish yourself. Please. Honestly Allah will do justice. I chose not to leave my husband, because i had children, also sister if i left him how do i know what kind of partner i would end up with? Please take care of yourself i know it is hard and you want to put an end to all this and you feel like crying, screaming killing and night/day this is on your mind!!! i pray to Allah to give you strength, and sincerely wish you all the best.

format_quote Originally Posted by Lonely Gal

thanks sis, i get what ur sayin, and tru if im meant to find out then I only will if Allah swt wants it to be..
I pray that somehow there is closure to this topic one way or another.. its kills me day in and day out thinkin what he could be doin..

istikhara is to seek guidance from Allaah. It cant show you secret hiddin things.

if you need guidance for something then istikharah is the way to go, its to help you make a decision, an important one.


i hope that helped even slightly


Assalamu Alaikum

may Allaah lighten your affairs, Ameen

Hmmm........ Men like this are not capable of love and i feel sorry that they do not know the importance of the woman they are joined with in Nikah,or know how to treat them with respect. Do you think such men have respect for their own mothers/sisters? No. Quite simply they also do not have respect for themselves ,also and are not scared of the Aakhirat. I often ask my husband how he would feel if this happened to one of his sisters, but he doesn't have an answer he is very smug but if only he knew that things change withi a split second!!! I used to feel sorry for myself, but now i don't you see i know that i am a better person than my husband and understand the importance of relationships.............do not have serious committments like children so there is an advantage.. i know marriage is for longterm and should not be considered a joke, but I really dont see how I can move on if I find out he is cheatin..
How can one tell u they love u so much, cant live without u, yet they go and play with other women..[/QUOTE]

format_quote Originally Posted by IbnAbdulHakim

istikhara is to seek guidance from Allaah. It cant show you secret hiddin things.

if you need guidance for something then istikharah is the way to go, its to help you make a decision, an important one.


i hope that helped even slightly


Assalamu Alaikum

may Allaah lighten your affairs, Ameen

unless she prays istikhaarah that she divorce wit her husban if he were cheating, and stay with him if he not.

Those are very kind words from you. JazakAllah. But i am not strong believe me there i times when i have wailed like a banshee, ranted and raved, been depressed......... finally found i achieved nothing. So here i am just gtetting on with it........

format_quote Originally Posted by nightstar

You both sound like very strong women, why us men are like this i never know,
May be you should both sit , down and have a chat , and see why he does this, and work out a solution.

I pray every thing works out for both of you,

You are right.......... you try trusting someone that constantly, lies cheats and decieves you.

How many times can you forgive?

How many times are you supposed to accept their "sorry" and find you are ging through the same****** again>>>

What would you do?????

format_quote Originally Posted by - Serene -

There's something called trust in a relationship, establish that InshaAllaah.

It is easy to talk,talk is just words, actions are what count. Darling when i was 23/24 all i ever dreamed of was a happy marraige, it was only later that i learned that there is no such thing. Life is not a bed of roses.......... Carry on praying and InshAllah Allah willguide you and give you strength, also you must make dua for subur.......... At first i was against you doing Istikhaara for this purpose. I went to work and thought about you the whole day. Sister i now think you should do Istikhaara because it might give you peace of mind InshAllah.........QUOTE=Lonely Gal;1019724]the reason why I would not sit down and actually discuss this, is because I know I will only be fed more lies and be more confused in ma own head. Everytime I pray I jus ask Allah swt to do whats best for me, I dont know if I should be asking for divorce or staying together. All I know is I am not happy and all Ive ever dreamt of if having a marriage where I am so happy and we'd both be good to each other. I ask Allah swt to guide me to what ever is the right and best thing, to give me evidence one way or another of what is going on with my husband and other people.[/QUOTE]

Sister,

Muslims pray Salat Al Istikhara when they're about to take an important decision or when a choice gets corny. We pray that if it's good to our life and deen, Allah may fulfil it. If it's bad to our life and deen, Allah may take it off our path. That's the principle of Salat El Istikhara.

May Allah help you in your personal ordeal.

If Istikhaara will help our sis get peace of mind then she should do it........ Allah knows best.........

format_quote Originally Posted by bewildred

Sister,

Muslims pray Salat Al Istikhara when they're about to take an important decision or when a choice gets corny. We pray that if it's good to our life and deen, Allah may fulfil it. If it's bad to our life and deen, Allah may take it off our path. That's the principle of Salat El Istikhara.

May Allah help you in your personal ordeal.