How to cope with loneliness??

**BNDGR** · 10-12-2008

Asalam alaikum,
I know the answer to this is that we are never alone, Allah is always with us.
My question is that even though I know this, and I try to keep involved in muslim learning and community events, but when I'm alone at home with my kids (Im divorced) I feel an overwhelming sense of loneliness, I don't want to feel this way but am not sure how to stop it. I do want to get married but I'm not able to marry the person I want due to issues on his side. So what do I do??
I do pray for peace of mind and try to through myself into my work, but when I'm alone the thoughts and sadness come and I feel weak.
Any advice would be so appreciated...

**BlissfullyJaded** · 10-12-2008

*Thread Approved*

I can't really think properly right now, so I'll leave it to others to help you inshaAllah!

**Mikayeel** · 10-12-2008

Originally Posted by BNDGR

Asalam alaikum,
I know the answer to this is that we are never alone, Allah is always with us.
My question is that even though I know this, and I try to keep involved in muslim learning and community events, but when I'm alone at home with my kids (Im divorced) I feel an overwhelming sense of loneliness, I don't want to feel this way but am not sure how to stop it. I do want to get married but I'm not able to marry the person I want due to issues on his side. So what do I do??
I do pray for peace of mind and try to through myself into my work, but when I'm alone the thoughts and sadness come and I feel weak.
Any advice would be so appreciated...

WaAlykum alsalaam.

Hmm Sister do you ahve any family members you know nearby you? Spending time with your sisters/mother/brothers is very good because they care about you, and that should take away the feeling of being lonely.

**BNDGR** · 10-12-2008

Originally Posted by Mikayeel

WaAlykum alsalaam.

Hmm Sister do you ahve any family members you know nearby you? Spending time with your sisters/mother/brothers is very good because they care about you, and that should take away the feeling of being lonely.

My Mother is about an hour away and we are not close, my Father who I was very close to and could talk about anything to passed away in 2002, I have some half brothers and sisters but none of us live close to eachother and since I have chosen to revert my family doesn't understand, and are not supportive. I am trying to become closer to Mom but it is very strained relationship.
I have friends who I had before but all they want to do is go out and party so I'm trying to keep my distance.

**Zahida** · 10-12-2008

Was very sad to hear about your situation, as you have stated yourself Allah is always with you............ Try not to feel sad busy yourself with other things, and try to keep your mind off your problems whats past is past and that cannot return, however you can make yourself and your children a better future. InshAllah ,constantly keep your mind busy with zikr. Ameen. In my thoughts take care.

**BNDGR** · 10-12-2008

JazakAllah sister Zahida for your advice, I will continue to work on keeping my mind busy with zikr and making the best of my situation.

**Zahida** · 10-12-2008

May Allah give you stregnth. Ameen.

Originally Posted by BNDGR

JazakAllah sister Zahida for your advice, I will continue to work on keeping my mind busy with zikr and making the best of my situation.

**transition?** · 10-12-2008

We are born alone and we die alone.
On the Day of Judgement, you will be tested by yourself.

When I began trying to be religious, I thought if I met one good Muslim friend, everything would be nice. I'd have support. Support is a good thing, but as Muslims, our support, imaan should come from our own strength, too.

Oh, this is your test. And any hardship has a hidden blessing. Think of this time to work extra hard on you relationship with Allah (swt)

This site will always be here for you. But it is in your own will that you further into the next step.

Plus, Allah (swt) is Better than any friend or family. Sister, I suggest you to spend some time remembering Allah (swt) and working on that relationship first. Because that will give you everlasting bliss and satisfaction.

Take this time to build your independence and your dependence on Allah (swt)

Be content with yourself.
I once discovered an Emily Dickinson poem.

Quote:
I'm nobody! Who are you?
Are you nobody, too?
Then there's a pair of us — don't tell!
They'd banish us, you know.

How dreary to be somebody!
How public, like a frog
To tell your name the livelong day
To an admiring bog!
At first it may seem a little hard to understand
but here's a link that may explain its significance
http://www.beyondbooks.com/lit71/1f.asp

**kwolney01** · 10-12-2008

We can all feel lonely at times specially when we don't have a partner to lean on and talk to.

Try to surround yourself with sisters, and family. Talk to your friends and family and tell them how you are feeling. We all need people there to support us even through the bad times.
Sister be grateful that you have your children and you are in there life. Make sure you can be a good example for them.
It isn’t a bad thing to be lonely, but you shouldn’t feel this way all the time.
Pray to Allah for support and guidance.

I wish you all the best sister!!

Salaams

**MO783** · 10-14-2008

Salam,

I feel very lonely, its getting worse every year. I do pray etc but still its very hard. I am looking to get married, please make dua that I find a pious wife Inshallah.

Salam

**BNDGR** · 10-15-2008

Originally Posted by MO783

Salam,

I feel very lonely, its getting worse every year. I do pray etc but still its very hard. I am looking to get married, please make dua that I find a pious wife Inshallah.

Salam

Wa alaikum salam brother,
I can see that alot of us are going thru some of the same things. InshaAllah things will get easier for us all. I will make dua for you as well as for me that we find our future pious spouses.

**fatima_01** · 10-16-2008

Originally Posted by BNDGR

Asalam alaikum,
I know the answer to this is that we are never alone, Allah is always with us.
My question is that even though I know this, and I try to keep involved in muslim learning and community events, but when I'm alone at home with my kids (Im divorced) I feel an overwhelming sense of loneliness, I don't want to feel this way but am not sure how to stop it. I do want to get married but I'm not able to marry the person I want due to issues on his side. So what do I do??
I do pray for peace of mind and try to through myself into my work, but when I'm alone the thoughts and sadness come and I feel weak.
Any advice would be so appreciated...

awww sis try surrounding urself wit the people u love it always helps do things that u enjoy and it will help keep ur mind of it and as a last resort feel free to buzz me weneva cuz im ALWAYS bored

**layla is here** · 10-18-2008

Originally Posted by transition?

We are born alone and we die alone.
On the Day of Judgement, you will be tested by yourself.

When I began trying to be religious, I thought if I met one good Muslim friend, everything would be nice. I'd have support. Support is a good thing, but as Muslims, our support, imaan should come from our own strength, too.

Oh, this is your test. And any hardship has a hidden blessing. Think of this time to work extra hard on you relationship with Allah (swt)

This site will always be here for you. But it is in your own will that you further into the next step.

Plus, Allah (swt) is Better than any friend or family. Sister, I suggest you to spend some time remembering Allah (swt) and working on that relationship first. Because that will give you everlasting bliss and satisfaction.

Take this time to build your independence and your dependence on Allah (swt)

Be content with yourself.
I once discovered an Emily Dickinson poem.

Quote:
I'm nobody! Who are you?
Are you nobody, too?
Then there's a pair of us — don't tell!
They'd banish us, you know.

How dreary to be somebody!
How public, like a frog
To tell your name the livelong day
To an admiring bog!
At first it may seem a little hard to understand
but here's a link that may explain its significance
http://www.beyondbooks.com/lit71/1f.asp

That is a great poem. Jazak Allak khayr for sharing.
Thanks for reminding us to fill these times with dhikr...I am one who sometimes forgets until I get busy and have no time

But inshaAllah I will not forget this time with your reminder.

**Eric H** · 10-18-2008

Gretings and peace be with you BNDGR;

Divorce is like a death, a bereavement and creates a void in your life. However much time, effort and emotional commitment you had with your spouse; you need to fill that same amount of time, effort and emotion with something else worthwhile.

Your children might also be missing time with their dad, even if they do not say so. Maybe spending more time with the children and taking on some more challenges with them. Try and help others in some way, this helps to take your mind of your own problems.

Life throws all kinds of problems at us, and we need to find a coping mechanism to help us through. Somehow putting God first and other people’s needs before our own needs, helps you to go through life more cheerfully and in a kinder way.

Somehow it works towards an inner strength and an inner peace.

You are in my prayers.

In the spirit of praying for an inner peace that surpasses all understanding.

Eric