ya rabbi

was gna put this in the public, but was too personal.

dont runa away, it took me 1 hour, and 3 pages to write. lol
thank you

ya rabbi,
this is to You from me
not a letter, but a plea
I need you to help me
tears fall from my eyes abundantly
frustrations instilled, as well as anxiety

I know you forgive all sins
I know its the repenter who wins
I know its the Prize in the right which makes one grin ()
but as i sit here and write this
I cant help but feel ill be falling in a pit ()

days go by
(potential) good deeds are wasted, time after time

sins are accumulated
i become frustrated
because when sins become abundant
good deeds become less numbered
and one becomes an allie to satan

getting used
getting abused
you get hurt, whilst he's amused

making you grieve
making you weep
making your hope seep ()

you sit there falling
.
falling
.
falling
.
barely holding on
to the Strongest Rope

you cant let go
you just cant and you know it
thats something fetched way too far

but your grips slipping, your letting go
it not in your hands no more
why, you ask yourself after coming so far
oh, its those sins that have passed
its whats making your heart dark
and temptations stark
and its whats making you slop, face down, in the mud

ya rabbi
I know my calls to You arent useless
you listen, you hear
so very caringly ()

But i wonder, i doubt, i have little hope ()
that ill one day reside in Janntul Firdows
'cos as you already know why
its them years that have gone by
the ones I wish i could forget and get on with life

I know you forgive all sins
i know its the repenter who wins
but they wont go from the back of my mind
and thus an anxiety in my im beginning to find

as i wonder whats install for me
a flaming fire or a vast tree

Ive wasted time
as good deeds pass me by

after this outta control mind
outta this wasting of time
I wonder
.
i wonder
.
i wonder

if theyll be any good or my at the end of my time ()