Assalamualikum brothers and sisters there some issues thats been lately been real concern to me. Basically ive reached a point in my life where through bad experiences and going through a lot of hardship has opened my eyes to islam. I started wearing hijab its been almost a year now and mashallah trying to practice and learn about islam but sometimes it is really hard to stay in the path as im the only one from all my friends that wear one and also where i work there are mostly non believers or believers of other faith however i have built my self to the level where i dont let their views and opinions influence me.
However i have one issue that i find hard to tackle i wear a hijab (head scarf) but i still continue to wear jeans and trousers but not fitted clothes they usualy lose or i wear a dress on with jeans etc. Sometimes i come across woman who wear the full jilbab or the full hijab top to bottom they wear just one plain color and some even cover their face and i really admire them. But it makes me feel bad that i can wear a hijab but i still try to look presentable and sometimes it may look fashionable. i love all different colors and you can say i have soft spot for clothes and jewllery and i am a bit of a girly girl which doesnt help. i read some where that hijab suppose to be really plain either black or white. but my hijabs are all sort of different colors.
I mean i dont a have problem with not watching tv or listning to music i was a big music person but i gave that up quite easily i dnt really think of it. I try my best to pray 5 times a day but some days i sometimes miss fajr due to too much sleep but mashallah i dont have problem praying other prayers on time even if i am a work.
when i look at some girls i see them all covered that way we are suppose to be it makes me feel like those people truly are believers and they deserve to be loved by Allah whereas there is me who is still continuing sinning how can i be loved by Allah and expect him to acccept my prayers and dua when i dont even practice properly.
I just dont feel like a strong believer and a good muslim to me it feels like i believe one thing in my heart and practice something else.
Can i still expect Allah to have mercy on me or help me and accept my dua eventhough im not doing everything that im suppose to be doing.
try wearing looser clothes, gradually wearing looser and looser - it might even be different colours.. and u work your way gradually so that its more baggy. Your friends will accept that insha Allah since they'll know that you are who you are, and that you like it this way.. if you do something for Allah's sake, He will give you something better in return for that sacrifice.
And for those who fear Allah, He (ever) prepares a way out,
And He provides for him from (sources) he never could imagine. And if any one puts his trust in Allah, sufficient is (Allah) for him. For Allah will surely accomplish his purpose: verily, for all things has Allah appointed a due proportion.
firstly no one knows what lies in the hearts of the muslims except Allaah.
secondly us as muslims should always feel ashamed of what we are incapable of in terms of our obligations towards Allah and always strive to do everything we can to please Allaah.
beware of the "but i tried :'(" mentality, Allaah knows best who tries their best,
i remind myself before all..
Assalamu Alaikum
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My tears testify that i have a heart
yet i feel me and shaytan never part
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