Assalam-u-Alaikum
I will get right down to the problem. I used to be the kind of person in my family, i mean the entire father's & mother's side, holding lots of respect in everyone's eyes.
For the last 2 years or so, i am experiencing steep decline in this respect & love. It has gotten to a point where even my cousins have stopped respecting me, and everyone in my family seems to be against me. Strange thing is that, i have not done anything, and they cannot explain why they are against me.. its just that they all are against me one was or the other.
Please guide me on how to re-gain love & respect in people's hearts and get back, what i have lost....
Can you give an example of how you are disrespected?
It may not be disrespect but a change in the peoples' personal ideas, views and opinions that conflict with yours and lead you to feel they are disrespecting you? Two years can make a person grow and change in many ways and we have to adjust to those changes. However, it does seem odd that you feel everyone is disrespecting you. My sincere advice is to ask yourself if you only want peoples' respect to satisfy your own ego? And instead, concentrate on increasing your good deeds and repenting. Sometimes we make mistakes without realizing how harmful they are for us as muslims. Also wealth, honour and health are things that come and go but a good deed will always remain good for you. But even the good deeds should be done to seek reward and pleasure from Allah - not to earn respect in peoples' eyes. Allah gives respect to whom He wills and humiliation to whom He wills.
He is the King of the dominion and the administrator of all affairs; He brings some near to Him and distances others. He honors some and humiliates some......... [Soorah aal-Imran (3): 26-27]
Praise belongs to Allah. Call upon Him by His beautiful names and seek His forgiveness and blessings. Seek His pleasure so that you may attain the blessing of seeing your Lord in the hereafter. Forget about seeking respect from people.
"He is Allah, the Creator, the Originator, The Fashioner, to Him belong the most beautiful names: whatever is in the heavens and on earth, do declare His praises and glory. And He is the Exalted in Might, The Wise. (Quran 59:24)
"The most beautiful names belong to God: so call on Him by them;..." (7:180)
Al-Hameed - The Praiseworthy, The praised One who deserves to be praised.
Al-Afuww - The Pardoner, The Forgiver, The One with wide forgiveness.
Ar-Ra'uf - The Compassionate, The One with extreme Mercy. The Mercy of Allah is His will to endow upon whoever He willed among His creatures.
I am a little egoistic and hard headed, but i've been that way since i've known myself. They don't really verbally disrespect me, but they mock my actions and don't seriously take my words. Every word of mine seem to be a lie to them.
Here's an example:
I started business like 6 months ago. I am in states. My uncle called me about 3-4 days ago, and i explained him that i started this business. He was appreciative, but next day he turned around and mocked me in front of entire family and everyone seemed to be on his side. I found this out through another family member. This is just one example. I have 50 more.
I would say something that is used against me to damage my reputation in my family.
Not only my relative, even my MOTHER is tarnishing my reputation by lying and misrepresenting me in front of entire family. This has never happened in the past. Situation is really out of my hands at this point.
I am looking for some duaa/wazifa to gain respect and love in the hearts of others.
Well, not really. My father passed away like 2 years ago. My mom got my signature on succession certificate and now she owns all the property left by my father. Thats not the problem though. She is managing it very well. The problem is a sudden and steep decline i my respect and no regard whatsoever for my words, even young cousins.... i am talking about 10-12 years old cousins....
Adding to the original post.
My reputation has been tarnished by everyone including my own mom, cousins, uncles. Not even a single person, both from my mom and my dads side, is in my favor. I am not a cocky and extremely hard headed person. I joke around with my family and i have seen days, when everyone used to love me and respect me. Those faces have transformed to something that i am not able to recognize.
No matter what are the words that come out of my mouth, they are molded to score some more winning points against me, in this game of humiliation and mockery.
I pray to Allah after every salat to put respect for me in everyone's heart, i am hopeful and will wait to see that happen. But meanwhile i need more help ...
I dont know the full facts but if it is really really really effecting you, then perhaps say something to your mum.. But you can always just rise above it, i mean sometimes we can read into things a bit too much and see things which aren't really happening if you know what i mean; with adults older than you, maybe just smile and not say anything. Whereas with the children if they cross the line then maybe say it isn't apropriate for them to talk to you like that.
Hope that helps. Gud luck.
The believer has four characteristics: if he is afflicted by any misfortune, he remains patient and steadfast. If he is given anything, he is grateful. If he speaks , he speaks the truth. If he passes judgment on any issue,he is just .
Hipefully not because you're a practicing Islam. Try to be extraordinary in your family,do something that your relatives and family members can have pride on you. Or else they might think you as a burden and soon scold you on little things such as , spending to much time on the computer, not cleaning your homework area.
with all due respect bro, these traits will at sometime cause ppl to lose respect for you. try to be more humble and gentle inshaAllah. there is no wazifah to earn respect as I believe that comes from Allah according to our actions and the niyah behind. However you should recite Surah an-Nas, Al-Falak, Al-Ikhlaas & Ayatul-Kursi (3x each) before you sleep, blow into your palms and wipe over your body as far as you can reach. This is recommended by our beloved Porophet (saw) for protection against jinn/majic.
format_quote Originally Posted by Scents of Jannah
assalamu alaykum
with all due respect bro, these traits will at sometime cause ppl to lose respect for you. try to be more humble and gentle inshaAllah. there is no wazifah to earn respect as I believe that comes from Allah according to our actions and the niyah behind. However you should recite Surah an-Nas, Al-Falak, Al-Ikhlaas & Ayatul-Kursi (3x each) before you sleep, blow into your palms and wipe over your body as far as you can reach. This is recommended by our beloved Porophet (saw) for protection against jinn/majic.
Yea I would say that.
or maybe jealousy? Pretty hard to say especially if your direct family is involved
I appreciate you all responding to my post. Its really nice to see how you peepz are lending helping hands there. The problem is not my ego or my cockyness. I know this for a fact. The problem is that my mum's side family is full of ignorants and people who haven't even been to high school. On the other hand, Allah has blessed me. I am in states, running my own business that i just started, going to uni and happy with my life. This is not even jealousy. These people have helped me in the past to get to better position and they want to see me successful.
Almost 90% of it is done by my own mom. I have, in the past, softly and harshly tried to stop her from this behavior, but she, despite of being highly educated person, has always come up with something to destroy my repute and humiliate me, in my absence, in front of my family.
Anyway, i started this post so that i can ask you all for some kind of duaa to increase my respect and develop love for myself in others' hearts. I think, am gonna have to continue my search
In order to gain people's respect you have to behave in such a way that people will naturally respect you. Perhaps you need to evaluate whats changed in yourself that has made people stop respecting you.
Also remember that respect works two ways, People will not respect you if you do not respect them.
The problem is that my mum's side family is full of ignorants and people who haven't even been to high school
You're looking down on them, and they perhaps can sense this and have therefore lost their respect for you
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