I'm not a revert but I feel like an alien amongst Muslims

**AnonymousPoster** · 03-13-2009

I remember a sheik came to my university to give a lecture and afterwards I attempted to ask him, with all the talk of bettering the Ummah, how come I dont feel like a part of it.

I say attempted because... well... lets just say whoever said boys dont cry lied through their teeth lol.

It's weird because I feel more like a part of the Ummah alone than I do in a group. I wasnt really religious until college and grew up in a regular Paki family. I guess that long period of cutoff from Islam is why I may feel alien huh?

But This isnt because I view myself as too sinful or anything like that.

In Jumah I refuse to sit near the front because I dont feel like I belong there. And for some reason, even though I feel alien, the thought of meeting Muslims is fascinating but for petes sake I grew up among them...

What gives people? Take a stab or roll your eyes and move onto the next advice thread!

**RazMaTaz** · 03-13-2009

Im a new member as you can tell with the low post count but ill take a dig

You shouldnt consider yourself an "alien", because everyone is equal. I personally went through a paraniod phase where i used to feel i was the centre of the room and felt so insecure because of it. One comment alone would throw me off, but i did seek advice from another muslim forum and they advised me nicely.

To me it seems you lack confidence, yes you may have sinned, but that kinda stuff shouldnt stop you from going to the front row of a masjid. It seems like shaytaan is just questioning your methodology. Next time you go to a masjid, force yourself to sit at front. The closer you are to the imaam in prayer in a masjid, the more rewardful it is. If your mind starts to wander, read a pocket quran, or do tasbeeh. Also, once prayer is finished, interact with the brothers around you, have your say, dont be too quiet. Obviously this kinda stuff will take time to get used to, but keep it a habbit and you will feel right at home inshallah

**Peterwf** · 03-13-2009

Over my life time I have often observed that some people will always be at the front, in the core centre. Whilst others will be more comfortable on the periphery. Thats the way folk are.
Some folk like to see what is going on and are uncomfortable with having lots of people behind then, a sort of watchful security thingy.
I tend to hang back, always have, I do not see anything wrong with that, it is just me.
However should one see a brother who is usually near the front start to move further to the outside, then it is time to if that brother needs help.

**transition?** · 03-14-2009

Originally Posted by AnonymousGender

I remember a sheik came to my university to give a lecture and afterwards I attempted to ask him, with all the talk of bettering the Ummah, how come I dont feel like a part of it.

I say attempted because... well... lets just say whoever said boys dont cry lied through their teeth lol.

It's weird because I feel more like a part of the Ummah alone than I do in a group. I wasnt really religious until college and grew up in a regular Paki family. I guess that long period of cutoff from Islam is why I may feel alien huh?

But This isnt because I view myself as too sinful or anything like that.

In Jumah I refuse to sit near the front because I dont feel like I belong there. And for some reason, even though I feel alien, the thought of meeting Muslims is fascinating but for petes sake I grew up among them...

What gives people? Take a stab or roll your eyes and move onto the next advice thread!

I think I know exactly what you mean!
Our Ummah is connected because of what's in our hearts and when we're alone we take time to develop what's in our hearts. We spend our personal time contemplating this Dunya, thinking of the Hereafter...etc. We create bonds because it a Muslim's duty to visit our brothers/sister when they are sick, when they are not feeling good, to support them, to help them learn...etc.

Investing time with people is a long term investment that has long term rewards. It may make sense to think "if I prayed I can help increase my imaan instead just hanging with Muslims that just seem to be gettin' along at the moment" but you invest time in relationships so when the going does get tough for our fellow brother/sisters, well you can help! It is a way of increasing your imaan because you learn to patiently love (for the sake of Allah) and wait for your Ummah.

But of course, life is about balance. Personal time is needed, sometimes you want to focus on your own prayer in a place where you feel comfortable.

Or you could be shy. Don't worry. It is a blessing!
I know I am very shy. I find the courage to speak because I think if I need to speak then it needs to be about Islam and something beneficial, I feel an obligation to make sure Islam is talked about and Allah (swt) is Glorified through the use of our tongues. But my shyness also prevents me from saying anything impulsive to others I might regret.

In the end, the feeling of being part of this Ummah is something you yourself need to confirm in your own mind and heart. Allah (swt) has Blessed His Slaves. We enjoin in good and forbid in evil through multiple forms of worship! And Allah (swt) has Blessed you surely to be part of this special group! You just need to see that. That's what really bonds us together. Of course, the most fulfilling and blessed bond is that between your Lord. We all put that bond over any bond, but the Ummah is full of the love for the sake of Allah. Being with people who have strong bond with the One and Only God will only help not hurt you. So don't feel shy, sad or reluctant. Truly, you and all our Ummah fellows are of the greatest group!