I have a friend, she's an unwed christian. She got pregnant by a muslim boyfriend. Her boyfriend wants the baby to be aborted, is it haraam? Should the baby be a muslim or a christian? Can somebody give advice to my friend?
If youre gonna carry on going out wit him it will make it even more hard for you when the time comes for him to break up with you. If i was you, i would break his heart before he breaks yours, and break his nose too!
x
Well actually that is one thing playing in my mind.. breaking his heart!!! but I don't know how because I want a really painful one that would give him lesson.. Can u suggest how?
Since my friends is calling me pipay also, the original pipay gave this account to me. So Im officially pipay!
Well actually that is one thing playing in my mind.. breaking his heart!!! but I don't know how because I want a really painful one that would give him lesson.. Can u suggest how?
Since my friends is calling me pipay also, the original pipay gave this account to me. So Im officially pipay!
Thanks for supporting me my dear sis!
Welcome sis
Well, if you want to be really, really cruel you can turn up to his house and break up with him in front of his wife...sis this would definately teach him a lesson - but presuming you still love him you dont want to hurt him too much, right?
I suggest next time he tries to tell you he loves you, push him away, give him a good ol' slap and tell him its all over. Then tell him that you and your baby, not his, will be fine without him, and if he shows up again, you will tell his wife everything. Say he can run off to Pakistan like a coward but where will he run on the day of judgement from God? And how will he be able to rest his conscience knowing he has another child out there who he has left, another family? Add that the world will definately be better off without him, and how can he ever look his wife in the eyes again and however will he hug his children, or tell them not to mess around with boys/girls when they are older without feeling like a hypocrite? And what if his family find out one day?
This should drive him crazy and definately make him think and maybe repent..and sis it is your right to ask him for financial support - biologically, he is the father of your baby, and he has to provide for it ! However, dont ever beg or plead, just square up to him and say:
'And i will be expecting you to provide for my baby, not for me, ( you can pay for yourself out of your work money, im sure ) because it is your duty as a man and i will be expecting (a certain amount) in the bank every month/week/year otherwise I will seek the assistance of a lawyer.'
And add that God is definately not happy with him, and even though your (you, sis pipay) just a human being he can mess around with, he can definately not mess God around!
We know that its the guys fault for doing alot of wrong, but how would it be his families fault? Remember that this is something big, and even though its not fair on pipay - should the whole family be affected because of his sin?
It might be that he goes even worse, and he might not repent. He might cheat more because his family hate him too..
That's why Allah tells us;
Qur'an 17:32. And come not near to the unlawful sexual intercourse. Verily, it is a Fâhishah [i.e. anything that transgresses its limits (a great sin)], and an evil way (that leads to other evils.)
I know it's not his family's fault but i received a call from a lady telling me that she is the wife. I told that if she wants anything, just ask her husband. I didn't say a thing to her. Then she keeps on calling but I refused to answer. Why should they bother me too much? I am also a victim! Should I tell her the truth now?
i think by letting his family know, even if he does run away his past will haunt him...if his family have a sense of duty/morals i think they will try to guide him to do the right thing or do the right thing themselves.
If not then at the least he will have to face the consequence from his family.
I think u should, you are at a point where you are past caring what happens to him, now you must only care what happens to you and your baby, and try to sort it out before your baby is born, because then you can start afresh and forget all that happened.
He has to pay for what he has done and repent, and you have to move on in your life.
You cannot let him get away..try the court, not the police.
I agree with the sis above - tell his family, if they still want to be with him, they can forgive and forget and help him right his wrongs, if they dont well, this should not be taken lightly, and in the end its his own fault! This could be charged as rape, since he forced you into it.
And you could also add that you are being harrassed by him/his family, or maybe you could support his wife if she is willing...if she just wants to tear your guts out, then just ignore her.
If she does need support, however, try to help her and keep her strong, if she wants.
Stay strong sister x
Just now I called one nurse from Dubai Hospital and she told me that either I go to police or the court, same thing will happen, both of us will be put in jail for 6 months (even my baby) and after this, deported to our countries. I'm so disappointed!!
She told me that there police officers who are ready to pick up women who has like this case because it is the punishment for people who had sex without marriage. What should I do now?
Just now I called one nurse from Dubai Hospital and she told me that either I go to police or the court, same thing will happen, both of us will be put in jail for 6 months (even my baby) and after this, deported to our countries. I'm so disappointed!!
format_quote Originally Posted by pipay
She told me that there police officers who are ready to pick up women who has like this case because it is the punishment for people who had sex without marriage. What should I do now?
If that is the case, then you are in a really sticky situation.
If you come out and tell the truth, you risk punishment, imprisonment and deportation. (But will you then also have a right to financial support from the father? If that's what you are really fighting for, you have to decide whether imprisonment and deportation is worth that ...)
If you keep quiet, the father is of the hook, nobody ever finds out the truth, and you are left to your own devices ...
Could you go back to your own country and fight your case from there, I wonder?
You are in my thoughts and prayers, pipay's friend.
Peace glo
Here I stand.
I can do no other.
May God help me.
Amen.
Come, let us worship and bow down •
and kneel before the Lord our Maker
[Psalm 95]
If you come out and tell the truth, you risk punishment, imprisonment and deportation. (But will you then also have a right to financial support from the father? If that's what you are really fighting for, you have to decide whether imprisonment and deportation is worth that ...)
If you keep quiet, the father is of the hook, nobody ever finds out the truth, and you are left to your own devices ...
Could you go back to your own country and fight your case from there, I wonder?
I already thought about it. I can take the risk of imprisonment and deportation but I can't help to see or even think that my baby would also take the same risk. I would rather see my baby grow in an orphanage rather than inside the jail. We cannot get any support from his father either.
If I file a case in my country, he needs to appear in court also. But how would this be possible if he's in other country? Even the court might find it difficult to find him.
In the name of Allah , the Most Gracious , Ever Merciful
Salaam/ Peace
format_quote Originally Posted by pipay
Why should they bother me too much? I am also a victim!
I don't want to be rude but here the victim is man's wife , not you .
You are equally responsible for what happened . She is calling ...I guess ...she heard that her husband has fallen in to the trap of a woman . When we hear any married man is having an affair , we also blame the lady.
Anyway , talk to a lawyer . Ask her if Islamic punishment is applicable to non-Muslims also . If yes , then may be it's better if you go back to your country & as glo suggested , go for legal assistance from there. Lawyers can give u some tips how to do that . U can ask help from your Embassy , too.
Last edited by Muslim Woman; 05-06-2009 at 09:03 AM.
Christ will never be proud to reject to be a slave to God .....holy Quran, chapter Women , 4: 172
In the name of Allah , the Most Gracious , Ever Merciful
Salaam/ Peace
I don't want to be rude but here the victim is man's wife , not you .
He lied to me from the beginning. He told me that he is not married and never had any kids. Do you think I would still pursue with the relationship if he told me from the very beginning that he has wife and kids? Definitely NO!!
But as he is a muslim, she can make him swear with his hand on the quran and by the name of Allah that this is the truth..its like a christian putting their hand on the bible...you wouldnt wanna lie!
And if he does lie, it makes it an even huuuuuger sin than it already is...
Much as I'd hope you are right, I fear that might be a little naive.
Some people will lie and even break an oath on their holy book to save their own skin ...
Peace glo
Here I stand.
I can do no other.
May God help me.
Amen.
Come, let us worship and bow down •
and kneel before the Lord our Maker
[Psalm 95]
Yeah, I think glo is right coz everytime we tried to talk about these things he also put the blame on me. Of course, I admit that in some ways I also have committed a mistake but for me, this things will not happen if he didn't lie to me in the first place. I will never have a relationship with a committed man! Many times we made promises and even make swears from our religion. And I can say that even if you let him put his hand on the Quran or even his whole body, well, it's nothing. He will tell lies to escape from this situation.
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