Their Killing me, their slowly killing me, making me hate my religion, making me hate islam, i hate all thats going on, i hate them i hate my self. Im hurting deep down but theirs no one to talk to, not even my friends online, because they have taken them away, taken them all away. I cant even talk to them, not even my own mother, because i will be cussed, cursed, insulted and called a prostitude. Yes, im a prostitude for wanting to compleate half of my deen, for wanting to be love, for following the sunnah, for wanting to get married.
I cry, I cry but there is not use in crying, they dont care, nor do they see, right now i am crying, and my mother is watching a movie here with me asking why the girl in the movie is crying, yet not blinking and eyelid because i am.
Right now i feel like dieing, oh its easy for me but im scared, i have loads of medication in the house that i can over dose my self with, i live on a four story apartment i can jump off, but no im scared.
I hate everything, I hate everyone, I even hate Me.
IB Forum Anonymous Account.
Available to those who wish to be anonymous in the Advice & Support section.
Abuse of the Anonymous System will NOT be tolerated!
Their Killing me, their slowly killing me, making me hate my religion, making me hate islam, i hate all thats going on, i hate them i hate my self. Im hurting deep down but theirs no one to talk to, not even my friends online, because they have taken them away, taken them all away. I cant even talk to them, not even my own mother, because i will be cussed, cursed, insulted and called a prostitude. Yes, im a prostitude for wanting to compleate half of my deen, for wanting to be love, for following the sunnah, for wanting to get married.
I cry, I cry but there is not use in crying, they dont care, nor do they see, right now i am crying, and my mother is watching a movie here with me asking why the girl in the movie is crying, yet not blinking and eyelid because i am.
Right now i feel like dieing, oh its easy for me but im scared, i have loads of medication in the house that i can over dose my self with, i live on a four story apartment i can jump off, but no im scared.
I hate everything, I hate everyone, I even hate Me.
Hating yourself will not achieve anything. Killing yourself will not achieve anything.
I suggest you should see a doctor if your feeling suicidal. They will provide you with some support.
We all go through difficult times, not just you. People all over the world are suffering.
The reason we have the Quran is to cope with these difficult times. Pray and perform Salat five times a day. Allah will surely help you when the time is right. Life is a test and you cannot expect someone to do all the hard work for you. You need to take action and take control over your life.
Focus on all the positive aspects of life. You have food, water and shelter that Allah has provided. Many people do not have these necessities to live in some parts of the world.
It is your choice end of the day. You have to help yourself. Answers are there. You need to put the effort and find these answers to your problems.
You don't see it do you? Allah has been 'teh Just to you, maybe to others, but NO NOT TO ME!!! I am NOT a wretched human being, Allah has tunred me into what I am today because of all the ahrdships I have faced!!!! I have repented sincerely for whatever it is that I have done! What more does He want?????????? My repentence doesn't count, my good deeds don't count, I am NOTHING in Allah's eyes NOTHING!!!!!
Shatan has overtaken me, and He can't even help me!!! Hahaha what GREAT RAB!!!!!!
Do you realise that when you say Allah is unjust (na udhu billah) you are denying His Beautiful name and attribute 'Al-Adl' -The Just, The One who is entitled to do what He does. You are blantantly insisting that He has no such name and attribute!! SubhanAllah! I beg Allah to have mercy on you.
How long have you been on earth? 25-30 the most? Perhaps less? Have you forgotten Prophet Ayub? He suffered trial after trial with the last one lasting EIGHTEEN YEARS! But not once did he complain. Not once! But what was his reward? Did Allah not hear his prayer and end his suffering?
"Then We heard his prayer and removed that adversity from which he suffered, and We gave him his household and the like thereof along with them, a mercy from Our store and remembrance for the worshippers." (Surah 21: Verse 84)
And you have the audacity to call Allah of such unworthy names because you didnt show patience and you wasn't grateful to Him in all conditions? Ask yourself, what wrong have you done and continue to do that your head has become so messed up you can't differentiate between talking jaiz and kuffer anymore? The weakness is in you. Face it. Allah doesn't wrong anyone. I've probably been through more crap than you, but I blame myself and other people. Not Allah! You better wake up and for once take a good hard look at yourself and instead of blaming Allah, blame yourself where you were to blame and other people when they wronged you. Allah didn't tell you to make mistakes and He never told others to wrong you. You all had a choice. Accept it!
O stop this nonsense anonymous, you are sounding totally ungrateful and inpatient, tut tut, are you alive? are you having trouble breathing, walking, talking, moaning, blind, bed bound, you are alive, are you not?
Fix up your bad mind self, to meet your maker and REPENT, REPENT, REPENT, FOR BEING SOO RUDE AND DISRESPECTFUL, tut, what makes you sooo special why you should not suffer??? Dont come DISSING MY LORD on this site are you mad??
How about stop moaning, be grateful, and do not curse your Lord, things could be sooo much worse for you.
We get paid for good deeds in next life and punished for bad deeds in next life, perhaps this is why you dont see people get punished or rewarded as yet, and who are you to judge them on their sins???
TUT, BOOOO,
Agstafallah,
Im sorry, you need a reality check, and spiritual therapy :enough!:
first off --> killing yourself will not change a thing. Many people have done it and it hasnt done them much good, has it?
Second --> I know life is NOT easy, and you have pretty much hit rock-bottom...but listen to everyone here, you HAVE to pull yourself up, make yourself immune to the pain, its the only way...you need to be strong...
Hate is a strong vile emotion. How can you hate what Allah has created.
I wish I could help. I will pray for you sis.
Last edited by roohani.doctor; 06-09-2009 at 01:17 AM.
Somewhere over the rainbow, way up high, there's a land that I heard of once in a lullaby.
Somewhere over the rainbow, skies are blue... and the dreams that you dare to dream really do come true.
sis please be patient and hopeful in bad times,dont lose faith in God,keep praying that he gets you out of this,He will take this misery away from you and you will be amply rewarded inshallah.
dont ever let this thought strike you that God doesnt love you,for he does as a matter of fact.why wouldnt he when he created you,blessed you with life and still(even though your situation is quite miserable) kept you in a better condition than may be million of people all around the world...look @ yourself,the thousands of complex reactions going on inside your body,if anyone of them goes wrong,or even a single cell of your body becomes cancerous all of a sudden,invades your organs,and puts your life at a jeopardy,what a misery it would be?but Allah is kind enough to you that he makes sure that doesnt happen to you.he is merciful enough that he has given you eyes to see...can you imagine the situation of people who are blind?not even able to cross a road themselves,always in dark?what life would be like to them?Alhamdulillah you are better,a hundred times better...still there are people who have lost all their families in wars etc.look @ poor palestinians,kashmiris,people whose children have been slaughtered before their eyes,whose homes have been destroyed,no where to live,nothing to eat....Alhamdulillah you are better...still better.he hasnt made you crippled,you are not bed ridden,has given you hands to work,feet to walk.there are people who dont even have that.He must love you to bless you with all this,if he hated you,why would have he given you anything at all?The list of his blesings go on and on,just because they are so common and we are so used to them,we dont realise their value,but only when we lost something.
sis please realize that this life has no significance of its own.it doesnt matter if we are rich or poor,beautiful or ugly,have everything or have nothing.what we call life is just a transition phase,a preparation to something that will never end.and if we are smart enough to earn something for that eternal life,we are successful...the affairs of this world are worthless after all.
Allah distributes his blesssings among people the way he wants.he doesnt bestow people with blessings because of their deeds.you know the story of the prophet yunus?how much had he suffered,though he had no sin(sinless he was,being a prophet),that was because Allah tests people,and he tests those whom he intends to give something great,to find if the person is worth it or not.if you drift through these difficult trials with strength and faith,be sure that you will be rewarded beyond all, all who had easy lives and no worries....and may be then you feel thankful to Allah for those difficulties,because if you dindnt face them,you might not have got all those blessings.
All of us have something special in ourselves.all we need is to realize our potentials,be strong,free ourselves of pessimism and wrong thoughts,and then work hard to change our situation.and trust me,it is not as difficult as it seems to be.
I pray Allah grants you sabr,courage and faith in these hard times.dont lose your faith in him and be grateful for what he has given you.Allah says:why would he punish you if you are faithful and grateful? he values gratefulness and knows everything.
^that was meant for the second anonymous poster by the way...as for first poster, i am confused what the matter is,may be she wants to get married and people call her prostitute for wanting so,or may be God forbid ,i dont know ,there is something else..
i think a lot of people would be mistaken,,anonymous poster one,could you please clearify.thanks
This is very sad............ Instead of ranting and raving about Allah and what He has not given you................... think about what He has given you, and be grateful................ you have your health, family, two arms legs eyes to see perfectly with a roof over your head clothes on your back and food in your stomach....................
expecting from peope because you are looking in the wrong place............ you won't find anything where you are looking........
WATCH AND LOOK At people and news around you .....................
ARE YOU THE ONLY ONE SUFFERING???????????
I will make dua for you May Allah ease your difficulties and replace them with ease. May Allah forgive your blasphemy............. because He IS all forgiving, just and He sees all and knows all. Ameen.
OH MY!!! I can't believe I said all those things on here yesterday. I am so ashamed of myself.
I was reading through my posts and thought... is that really me who said such horrible things to my Lord??? Astaghfirullah Astaghfirullah Astaghfirullah
I deserve everything I get. I owe my life to Allah SWT, and here I am being the most ungrateful human being in the world!!! What is wrong with me? I am silly excuse for a human being.
I am so sorry to everyone I have offended, so sorry.
Most imortantly I pray that Allah SWT forgives me for saying such horrible things and for having so much hatred inside this weak heart. Ameen.
Life can seem a constant grind with a few good bits thrown in to give us hope. Somehow you have to get from your age to my age which is only sixty, without feeling like your being beaten into the ground. No matter how depressing your life is, search for ten things to thank God for today, and repeat this daily to lift your spirits.
You will never look into the eyes of anyone who does not matter to God
And just to make you think a little further, this also applies when you look in the mirror.
In the spirit of praying to a loving and merciful God; who cares about each and every one of us despite all our differences.
Eric
You will never look into the eyes of anyone who does not matter to God.
OH MY!!! I can't believe I said all those things on here yesterday. I am so ashamed of myself.
I was reading through my posts and thought... is that really me who said such horrible things to my Lord??? Astaghfirullah Astaghfirullah Astaghfirullah
I deserve everything I get. I owe my life to Allah SWT, and here I am being the most ungrateful human being in the world!!! What is wrong with me? I am silly excuse for a human being.
I am so sorry to everyone I have offended, so sorry.
Most imortantly I pray that Allah SWT forgives me for saying such horrible things and for having so much hatred inside this weak heart. Ameen.
Alhumdulillah, it's a great feeling watching realisation dawn. I pray it stays with you sis and Allah makes your journey through life easy. By Allah sis, if those around you don't appreciate you, forget about them. There are people who need you. A small child somewhere would love to be held. An elderly person cared for. A hungry person fed. A sick tended to. You can be so much to so many people. Life isn't complete until we live for others. If you share yours with those who will appreciate you, you will find happiness and fulfilment without lookign for it. Real happiness lies in giving, not taking. And I feel you have plenty to give.
Seriously man, that first post was disturbing. Think of your life and the amazing planet God gave you life to live on. Your life is worth much more than you might think!
What you should do is try to set some goals for yourself. Write down on a piece of paper goals you wish to set for yourself and the positive things in your life.
OH MY!!! I can't believe I said all those things on here yesterday. I am so ashamed of myself.
I was reading through my posts and thought... is that really me who said such horrible things to my Lord??? Astaghfirullah Astaghfirullah Astaghfirullah
I deserve everything I get. I owe my life to Allah SWT, and here I am being the most ungrateful human being in the world!!! What is wrong with me? I am silly excuse for a human being.
I am so sorry to everyone I have offended, so sorry.
Most imortantly I pray that Allah SWT forgives me for saying such horrible things and for having so much hatred inside this weak heart. Ameen.
^happy to see you realize your Gods blessings....best of luck
Salaams. I just read fru tha first page of replies. & Ya'no wha, I cant belive some of tha finz that have been said. Buh whuever you are, you need to big time fix up. Killing yourself will achieve nowt. There's people dying out there, praying they get fru another day, & your contemplating suicide and cussing your relgion. Thats proper disgraceful kasme. Appreciate what you have, appreciate you HAVE something going for you. Appreciate tha fakt you have time to repent. Appreciate you are bless by Allah to have Islam in your life. There's no point sitting at home getting depressed about tha stuffs we dunt have in our lives, be grateful wha you du got. =)
SubhanAllaah some of you people are complaining as if you are getting the most harshest of all tests! Well let me tell you, you are not! Do you think you have been through more Hardship than the Prophet SAW's and the Sahabah RA? You have not, when they were spreading this deen in the early years there was real hardship but they remained patient and firm in Emaan. This deen is about patience, if you don't believe Allaah is Al Adil (The All Just!) then you are denying one of the attributes of Allaah, and this is a form of Shirk in the category of Al Asma Wa Sifat. Do you think you are going through more hardship than some of the pious predecessors who were persecuted for standing up for the deen of Al Islam? Do you think you have been tested more than some of our Ulama in the prisons today? Have you been tested more than our brothers and sisters in Philestine? Wallaahu Aalim but I doubt it very very much! The defficiency is not in the justness of Allaah Ta'ala but it is in your Iman and Wallahi you are being tested. Do you want Jannah for free? Remain patient until the day of judgement In shaa Allaah and make dua for the Ummah. Look at the person in the worse position than you and say Al Hamdulilah
Hey there! Looks like you're enjoying the discussion, but you're not signed up for an account.
When you create an account, we remember exactly what you've read, so you always come right back where you left off. You also get notifications, here and via email, whenever new posts are made. And you can like posts and share your thoughts. Sign Up
Quote
Re: I Hate Everything Even Me
what makes you sooo special why you should not suffer??? Dont come DISSING MY LORD on this site are you mad??
This is very sad............ Instead of ranting and raving about Allah and what He has not given you................... think about what He has given you, and be grateful................ you have your health, family, two arms legs eyes to see perfectly with a roof over your head clothes on your back and food in your stomach....................
Hide
Looks like you're enjoying the discussion, but you're not signed up for an account.
Bookmarks