Why Is Getting Married Made So Hard?WHY????

Just rely on Allaah, leave it up to Allaah, everything will happen for the best.

I know its written for us to get married, but do we just sit at home waiting for something to happen,or wait for proposal to come, as is a lot of sisters case.

Or is it like a job, where you habe to get off your behind and find it.

Another thought , when inshallah we get a spouse, will we thank Allah swt for giving us a spouse, will we put the same effort in Asking Allah swt , the tears the lonliness, the pining in every dua. as we will in thanking Allah swt.

The ayat when allah swt rescues you from the storm comes to mind

format_quote Originally Posted by celina

Me too sister I am concerned about deen and good character which should come along with the deen.

Brother Convert I hope you don't get offended but why don't you try to find a practising sis as a future wife through this forum Im sure there are many good Muslim sisters who may want to get married. I hope no one gets married, marriage is the sunnah of the prophet (peace and blessings be upon them)

Thats the thing , we are not allowed or theres is no way for us to find a spouse on this forum,

Thats brings the question, can you feel attracted to a person on a forum through their posts that they write.

format_quote Originally Posted by nightstar

Thats the thing , we are not allowed or theres is no way for us to find a spouse on this forum,

Thats brings the question, can you feel attracted to a person on a forum through their posts that they write.

Aslam brother,

Very good question, as most good practising muslim girls look for deen and good manners etc, then thats all that matters. As long as shaitaanee talk and them kind of conversations don't take place then it should be ok. Im not sure if its not allowed I don't want to get in any trouble. I think people can get attracted through posts once again its about how they talk about deen personally thats what matters to me.

format_quote Originally Posted by amani

^^you could ask through a brother or sister you think is 'trustworthy' enough to help in a respectable manner

Yes a third should always be involved.

I agree brother convert, but if you do it in the right way i.e private message just ask general stuff and then do istikhara, I hope I don't get in trouble about this. Things can be done islamically if a third person is involved a trustworthy person who maybe can exchange information for you.

Lets put it this way: all the above has to be in place and the sister has to be reasonably close to me. I just do not see it as a viable option.

Brother Convert I understand what you mean, I only said because you once mentioned that you have no one to help you and family and community. Personally I think you can get to know a person as long as there is no haraam talk etc. If things progress you can meet up but not alone meaning you can bring a trustworthy person with you and she can bring a family member. Brother you have to start somewhere I am just trying to help you.

i appreciate it, i just dont think it would work for me

format_quote Originally Posted by OxygenHacker

The girl or the guy has to be from the same race or in some cultures the same cast.

This is not really true... My husband and I are not that same race nor sam culture... we were not even born of the same contentient... I know many people in inter-racial and international marriages...

Most of all the wedding ceremony i mean O M G the mehndi(henna), the wedding day and then the walima. All these haram things people dancing,free mixing and showing of the wealth, what is that?where is that in islam??All of these reasons are making guys and girls go towards haram things.We all have needs and desiers and if one doesnt fulfil them in the halal way then BAM satan comes in and say ''you know what allow the marriage you need to do this and to do that'' you know what i mean?

Not really... I mean it depends on what you want to do for the wedding. and how "modern" you want it to be... I mean my hubby and I had only very close family there and 2-3 friends. then the Magistrate (of course) and a translator. it was very informal and held at my favorite restaurant... So there was not really any mixing... everyone there was married except for 1 friend who lived next door for my hubby's entire life... (which might as well be family)

There are other problems too practiciing brothers cant find practicing sister and vice versa.

just depends on where your looking...

lets take my example yes

i am 23yrs old i have a degree in business management(ASIAN YAAR) and i want to get married because i want to be away from the fitna.Dont get me wrong its not like i am desperate to get married but i will be lying if i say that i donot want to get married asap.First some of my elders tell me wait till your 27 because that is the perfect age to get married and when my parents start looking for a girl they apparently cannot seem to find a practicing muslimah i mean HELLO living in a muslim country and cannot find one what is that all about.Lets take western countries yes, practicing sisters here donot ask you anything about the deen first question is What Is Ur VISA STATUS.WHERE is that in islam??I agree that people from back home donot have the best of reputation but are all of them after your passport?I dont wana pledge my allegiance to the queen.ONE UMMAH right??Why is it so hard to fulfil the sunnah of our beloved PROPHET SAW

There is an old saying.... if you look for love you wont find it... Your 23!!! And i know you want to get married but study, find a hobby, do something you like and you will find someone who is more like you... Its not something i advertise but i married young and it was a horrid mistake... In sooooo many ways... I regret it with every fiber of my being... but then one day i met my darling soul mate... and that was it... i am not saying its easy but trust me... after meeting my husband i know it would have been worth the wait. he is my whole world... why settle for someone to call wife... when you can wait to find your soul mate... trust me there is a huge difference.

format_quote Originally Posted by convert

i appreciate it, i just dont think it would work for me

All the best anyway, pray you find someone righteous.