Practising and non-practising friends.

**celina** · 08-07-2009

Aslam allaykum

Recently I have been going through a lot therefore I came on this forum for peace. There are some lovely people on this forum mashAllah they have helped me and I really appreciate may Allah reward them.

However I have been always been excluded by members of my own community and maybe because I am quite modest and not the very talking type. I have two groups of friends one is my university college friends (all females) which are quite western but I love them anway, on the other hand I have some practising female friends who I also love too. Now the thing is I don't really fit with either of my two social groups. I am practising and there is nothing western about me, I mashAllah pray five times a day, not in to social gathering and attend regular talks at my mosque.

I really like this forum but I don't feel very accepted which really hurts me, everytime I try to help someone I feel excluded, but why is this?. Now when Im with my not so practising friends I have a good laughf, but I don't feel part of them maybe because I am more in to my praying, seeking knowledge asking for forgiveness. However I must say that my not very practising are great girls the only difference I have with them is that I don't dress and go out like them.

I just can't understand and connect, can someone help me?

**transition?** · 08-07-2009

Sister

My advice to you is just relax. If you're just chill, new people will come up to you one day, and it'll be just great.

. You're just making yourself feel uncomfortable about things you have no real control over.
Relationships are based on what two or more people can RELATE on, not about how well each doesn't fit together. You'll never find a person who gets you entirely. But it's about learning new things about different types of people and sharing whatever you can with another friend that enhances life. People are not emotional crutches or anything.
Everyone feels excluded many times in their life, but when has life worked out perfectly when you want it to? You should concentrate on what you can relate, rather than how much you don't fit in and be happy with that. We'll never meet our exact twin, but if that's the beauty of it! Sometimes, you're in the center of attention. Sometimes, you're lost in the shadows. Some years, you'll meet new people. Some years, your situation will keep close to only a few.

If you're modest and not very talkative, then that's just who you are. It doesn't really matter every moment who people are to you, in the end, it's about our real Purpose in life which is that connection with our Lord, Allah (swt). We get over the sad times and we cherish and are grateful about the good times in life.

**Snowflake** · 08-08-2009

I really like this forum but I don't feel very accepted which really hurts me

Sis, you are fortunate. Hamdulillah! You know why? You're one of those people who try and want to help others. We have been corresponding in PMs and I know what a lovely sis you are, mashaAllah. That's a great blessing sweety. Not everyone is like you. You expect love and compassion from your brothers and sisters, and while there are some really beautiful people here who will lift you when your down and make you feel alrite again, there are also some unfortunate ones who even if they have time, haven't got the tawfeek to give a kind word to someone when they need it. Some are just shy and not sure what to say. A lot of members here are young and inexperienced in some matters. Does that mean, there is something wrong with you? No, of course not sis.

Also, some personalities are like beacons to others. They may be very intelligent, witty or funny (or all of those) lol. That is something people can 'see'. They are like beacons. So people are drawn to them and respond to those people because they can see something they admire in them.

And then there are people like yourself, who are kind and sensitive and not shining like beacons but have qualities just as good (maybe even better) that are hidden like diamonds. Therefore, only those who are lucky enough to get close enough see those qualities.

I know you want to see more brothers and sisters offering encouragement, support and kind words. And so you should. We should do it for the sake of Allah. Did not our beloved Prophet (saw) say that the Ummah is one body and when one part hurt, the rest should feel its pain? Therefore you are right to want more. I myself, would love to see us carry the Prophet's (saw) words in our hearts all the time.

But, most important of all hun, is what we do - not what others do. Just tell yourself that, you'll carry on picking the flowers of imaan by being good to others fi sabilillah, even if they let you down. You won't lose hun. Only He (SWT) knows how He will reward your patience. If you keep sowing the seed of goodness with patience, inshaAllah in Allah's eyes, you will be from those whom He loves. Nothing is more important than that is it?

(((hugs)))

I love you fi sabilillah sis x

**celina** · 08-08-2009

Originally Posted by Scents of Jannah

Sis, you are fortunate. Hamdulillah! You know why? You're one of those people who try and want to help others. We have been corresponding in PMs and I know what a lovely sis you are, mashaAllah. That's a great blessing sweety. Not everyone is like you. You expect love and compassion from your brothers and sisters, and while there are some really beautiful people here who will lift you when your down and make you feel alrite again, there are also some unfortunate ones who even if they have time, haven't got the tawfeek to give a kind word to someone when they need it. Some are just shy and not sure what to say. A lot of members here are young and inexperienced in some matters. Does that mean, there is something wrong with you? No, of course not sis.

Also, some personalities are like beacons to others. They may be very intelligent, witty or funny (or all of those) lol. That is something people can 'see'. They are like beacons. So people are drawn to them and respond to those people because they can see something they admire in them.

And then there are people like yourself, who are kind and sensitive and not shining like beacons but have qualities just as good (maybe even better) that are hidden like diamonds. Therefore, only those who are lucky enough to get close enough see those qualities.

I know you want to see more brothers and sisters offering encouragement, support and kind words. And so you should. We should do it for the sake of Allah. Did not our beloved Prophet (saw) say that the Ummah is one body and when one part hurt, the rest should feel its pain? Therefore you are right to want more. I myself, would love to see us carry the Prophet's (saw) words in our hearts all the time.

But, most important of all hun, is what we do - not what others do. Just tell yourself that, you'll carry on picking the flowers of imaan by being good to others fi sabilillah, even if they let you down. You won't lose hun. Only He (SWT) knows how He will reward your patience. If you keep sowing the seed of goodness with patience, inshaAllah in Allah's eyes, you will be from those whom He loves. Nothing is more important than that is it?

(((hugs)))

I love you fi sabilillah sis x

Sister your words are so kind and Im glad that we are friends mashAllah, your words always touch me, you have to be one of the best writers on this forum mashAllah may Allah reward you,

Im sorry I just can't get a grip sometimes as much as I try..In life I haven't met very great people, but to the grace of Allah I have been protected and blessed at the same time. Hard times bring us closer to Allah (swt).