It is getting to a point in my life where i really am questioning Islam and i wish i didnt. I have read several of the posts and certain things dont make sense. I do follow all the five pillars of Islam and practice 5 times a day - but i feel like im just practicin 4 the sake of it i dont feel my heart is in it totally. My Ramazan went well and i managed to complete the Quran alhumdilliah - but i just dont know anymore im really confused. I think the whole topic on destiny and fate really do make me question islam. Ive been goin through depression for over a year now - but i refuse to take anti-depressants as i feel i can cope and dont want to get addicited to them. I really wanted to marry a muslim brother - but it did not go accordingly and since then my life has been upside down. I read in the previous thread that Allah decides our partners - what if it ends in divorce - why did allah choose that partner then when divorce is such a major sin.
Secondly, why do we have to fear allah - why cant we love Allah without the fear?
If it didn't work out with this brother then know that a calamity that makes you turn to Allah is better for you than a blessing which makes you forget the remembrance of Allah. Allah (swt) protects His beliving servants as a shepard would protect his sheep. The shepard can see farther then the sheeps and spot the danger and protect his flock before they are attacked by a wolf. Similarly Allah protects His beliving slaves from what would harm then even if we cannot see the harm. You should use this opportunity to make du'a day and night to Allah as this is a time when your heart will feel attached to Him knowing that only He can ease your affliction and give you relief.
He knows what's best for His servants as Allah says in surah al-baqarah that you may love something which is bad for you and you may dislike something which is good for you.
Ibn Qayyim says: Were it not for the trials and tribulations of this world, a person could develop arrogance, self-admiration, a pharaonic attitude and hardheartedness which would lead to his doom in this world and in the Hereafter. It is a sign of the mercy of the Most Merciful that He checks on him from time to time with the remedy of calamity so as to protect him from these diseases, to keep his submission and servitude sound, and to eliminate all bad elements that may lead to his doom.
You should contemplate and ponder why it hasn't worked out with this brother. Perhaps this trial will make appreciate the next person who proposes to you much more. Perhaps you may have comitted a sin with him which led to your seperation or perhaps Allah has something better in store for you, if you remain patient and accept His Decree. Marrying this person may have had an effect on your iman, and the worst thing you could lose is your religion.
Spend time with righteous people and seek their advice on this matter, go out side to the park or some place to stay away from those places which will remind you of him. Don't be alone because the wolf attacks the lone sheep (i.e. shaytan will drive you insane with his wispers and will put doubts in your heart) And most importantly, keep your tongue moist with the remembrance of Allah because truly in the remembrance of Allah do the hearts find rest.
Secondly, why do we have to fear allah - why cant we love Allah without the fear?
In its travel to Allah, a heart is like a bird: love is its head, and fear and hope are its two wings. If the head and wings are in good condition, the bird flies well. If the head is removed, the bird dies. And if the wings are lost, the bird becoems defenselsss before hunters and predators.
If one was to fear Allah alone without hoping in Him then one will fall into dispair and hopelessness in the mercy of Allah, and if one hoped in Allah without fearing Him then he would become negligent, arragont and careless. To have a balance, one must fear Allah's wrath but at the same time hope for His mercy, aid and forgiveness.
Last edited by 'Abd-al Latif; 09-21-2009 at 10:39 AM.
And verily for everything that a slave loses there is a substitute, but the one who loses Allah will never find anything to replace Him.” [Related by Ibn al-Qayyim in ad-Dâ' wad-Dawâ Fasl 49]
You are right to say that Allah knows whats good for us - even though what we think is good for us maybe bad.
I really do love the brother and i have found positive results from istikara - i pray all the time for it to get to marrigae so i can complete half my deen. Also, this dua is sincerly from my heart, ive given sadqa, prayed a dua after Quran and make dua when i do salaat.
Maybe this is a test for me to see how patient i am. I am also going to do Tahajjud for this.
I just have my moments of depression and i get attacked easily by Shaitaan and wrong thoughts run through my head... which i know i should learn to control.
It is getting to a point in my life where i really am questioning Islam and i wish i didnt. I have read several of the posts and certain things dont make sense. I do follow all the five pillars of Islam and practice 5 times a day - but i feel like im just practicin 4 the sake of it i dont feel my heart is in it totally. My Ramazan went well and i managed to complete the Quran alhumdilliah - but i just dont know anymore im really confused. I think the whole topic on destiny and fate really do make me question islam. Ive been goin through depression for over a year now - but i refuse to take anti-depressants as i feel i can cope and dont want to get addicited to them. I really wanted to marry a muslim brother - but it did not go accordingly and since then my life has been upside down. I read in the previous thread that Allah decides our partners - what if it ends in divorce - why did allah choose that partner then when divorce is such a major sin.
Secondly, why do we have to fear allah - why cant we love Allah without the fear?
i dont know anymore.
poor thing. people say love is like heaven but i sometimes disagree and i think love is evil sometimes for how it effects a human mentally even in marriage when you love someone they end up hurting you somewhere along the line. probably making you more depressed lol but thats what i feel like sometimes. it makes you forget about Allah..
its not like you don't want to think about Allah you do but you can't because your heart is thinking about that certain person and you feel helpless, you don't want to feel this way. your imaan is there but you cannot think about anything else right now because your not concentrated on the deen.
also we all sin. when we do sin. we feel so worthless that we start to believe Allah has forgotton about us and neglected us so this is some type of punishment so you start to have all these negative feelings resulting in how you are feeling right now. people do say you should get over this person but its not easy and i am not going to say that but time is a healer and the more time that goes by the more you get better inshallaah but first you have to Accept that you are not going to marry this brother.
Yes but Allah has the power to do anything - and can bring me this brother for marriage if he wills - I read in the previous post that Allah has chosen our spouses for us - ive had positive results from Istikara - i still have faith one day we can marry i trust Allah a lot, but need to tackle shaitaain and these thoughts i have at times where i end up questionin Islam. I do know for a fact Allah exists and that Islam is the true religion.
my advice to you is speak with a scholar and explain your dream to him so that he may interpret it for you. i take it your istikhara was answered in your dream you see sometimes dreams come from our mental thoughts when you are constantly thinking about this person so don't get confused with dreams like that. if the answer was clear and good then it did come from Allah but i would speak with your imam as this guy has not made any contact with you or your guardian? yes Allah has the power to do all things but Allah also says humans are made only from clay but Allah is forever and will be forever. he has the love of 70mothers that no human can give. Allah knows best how things turn out weather you like it or not sister. thats life. sometimes its better to accept and let him come to you if its meant to be
in addition to all the previous advice, it would also be better if you occupy yourself with beneficial activities that channel your energy and thoughts in positive ways, so you will not have much free time that you use to over analyze things which leads to more despair.
Do you work? study?
or you can always try to help family or friends. Helping others and achieving results, small that they may, actually give you positive boosting and make you feel better about yourself.
And have some sabr/patience.
i don't suggest you taking any anti depressant unless under strict supervision of good medical doctor/psychiatrist. Better to continue with your ibada, fardu and other prayers, sadaqa, etc.
Remember in the Qur'an Allah SWT tells us to make sabr and shalah as our helper.
Your (real) friends are (no less than) Allah, His Messenger, and the (fellowship of) believers,- those who establish regular prayers and regular charity, and they bow down humbly (in worship).
وَمَنْ يَتَوَلَّ اللَّهَ وَرَسُولَهُ وَالَّذِينَ آمَنُوا فَإِنَّ حِزْبَ اللَّهِ هُمُ الْغَالِبُونَ [٥:٥٦] As to those who turn (for friendship) to Allah, His Messenger, and the (fellowship of) believers,- it is the fellowship of Allah that must certainly triumph.
﴿٥٦﴾
(AL-maida 56-57)
These verses prove that Allah can be loved too , but remember it should be with some respect and fear.somewhat like the relationship with your father , but of much greater magnitude.
All the best for your endeavours sis, be strong you will soon be as fine as ever.
Yes i do work - Alhumdilliah Allah has blessed me with the job i wanted - i worked and studied really hard to be where i am today - however i find it worse being here - I find it easier being at home as i can sleep and not think about things - i have even affected my productivity @ work
Thank you cat eyes - maybe it was my conscious - i will try do it again several times - if i get the same results i will ask am imaan to explain what it means.
Even today i couldnt wake up for fajar - im such a bad person
[QUOTE=zakirs;1222633]إِنَّمَا وَلِيُّكُمُ اللَّهُ وَرَسُولُهُ وَالَّذِينَ آمَنُوا الَّذِينَ يُقِيمُونَ الصَّلَاةَ وَيُؤْتُونَ الزَّكَاةَ وَهُمْ رَاكِعُونَThese verses prove that Allah can be loved too , but remember it should be with some respect and fear.somewhat like the relationship with your father , but of much greater magnitude. [QUOTE]
It is getting to a point in my life where i really am questioning Islam and i wish i didnt. I have read several of the posts and certain things dont make sense. I do follow all the five pillars of Islam and practice 5 times a day - but i feel like im just practicin 4 the sake of it i dont feel my heart is in it totally. My Ramazan went well and i managed to complete the Quran alhumdilliah - but i just dont know anymore im really confused. I think the whole topic on destiny and fate really do make me question islam. Ive been goin through depression for over a year now - but i refuse to take anti-depressants as i feel i can cope and dont want to get addicited to them. I really wanted to marry a muslim brother - but it did not go accordingly and since then my life has been upside down. I read in the previous thread that Allah decides our partners - what if it ends in divorce - why did allah choose that partner then when divorce is such a major sin.
Secondly, why do we have to fear allah - why cant we love Allah without the fear?
i dont know anymore.
I am not someone with a lot of knowledge, but from my experience I can say that I've always loved Allah. But after Allah guided me and increased my imaan (faith) I started to fear him also. And I can say that after this fear I truly loved him more and stayed away from sin in a better way and tried to do more acts of worship. Alhamdulillah.
Yes but Allah has the power to do anything - and can bring me this brother for marriage if he wills -
How will marrying this brother help you find eternal salvation? Life on Earth might last a hundred years, eternity in heaven is beyond my comprehension. I believe Allah helps us in ways that make it easier for us to attain eternal salvation, rather than helping us in ways that only satisfy our short life on this Earth.
In the spirit of praying for eternal salvation
Eric
You will never look into the eyes of anyone who does not matter to God.
I would recommened you lectures by Bilal Philips, Yusuf Estes, Yasir Qadhi and others on how to improve your imaan.
Secondly:
If you have a problem concerning a spceific issue to do with Islam, such as Qadr, then enquire about that subject in detail by reading books, listening to lectures and watching videos to do with that topic.
Also make a sincere du'a to Allah to keep you firm on Islam, since that is the only true Deen.
Abu Hurayrah (may Allaah be pleased with him) said: the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “The du’aa’ of any one of you will be answered so long as he is not impatient and says, ‘I made du’aa’ but it was not answered.’” Narrated by al-Bukhaari and Muslim.
Allaah will respond and fulfil the desire of the person who made the du’aa’, or He will ward off some evil from him because of the du’aa’, or He will make something good easy for him to attain because of it, or He will save it with Him for him on the Day of Resurrection when he will be most in need of it. And Allaah knows best.
It is getting to a point in my life where i really am questioning Islam and i wish i didnt. I have read several of the posts and certain things dont make sense. I do follow all the five pillars of Islam and practice 5 times a day - but i feel like im just practicin 4 the sake of it i dont feel my heart is in it totally. My Ramazan went well and i managed to complete the Quran alhumdilliah - but i just dont know anymore im really confused. I think the whole topic on destiny and fate really do make me question islam. Ive been goin through depression for over a year now - but i refuse to take anti-depressants as i feel i can cope and dont want to get addicited to them. I really wanted to marry a muslim brother - but it did not go accordingly and since then my life has been upside down. I read in the previous thread that Allah decides our partners - what if it ends in divorce - why did allah choose that partner then when divorce is such a major sin.
Secondly, why do we have to fear allah - why cant we love Allah without the fear?
i dont know anymore.
- May Allah give you happiness and peace sister. Ameen. The Prophet (saw) said, "There is nothing better for those who love each other than marriage." (Ibn Majah). This, hadith applies to people who love each other and the love is equal and there is no deficiency in it. But when love is incomplete, yaani one sided, it is weakening and destructive and considered an ailment for which another cure must be sought.
The first recommendation is to convince yourself that your loss was the will of Allah because that is what's good for you. We must also realise and remind ourselves that we love none above Allah and whether the loss of a lesser loved being is more important or the loss of a greater love? And since we know only Allah is Perfect, we must also remember the faults and weaknesses of that person and not place them on a pedestal. And if are honest with ourself we will whole-heartedly agree that they are less than perfect and therefore we can face the fact that the rose-tint is beginning to wear off enough to let us see that no man is worth grudging Allah's will. Because, if Allah had willed he'd have been yours.
Even for those who love each other, and their love is true, the wise will reach the same conclusion as those who suffered a loss. When two people who love Allah, love each other for His sake, they too realise that without Allah giving their beloved the qualities they love about them, this person would've been nothing. Without Allah's blessings and will, they would not have attained each other. Without His will, they wouldn't have acquired what they desired. So, the result that happens is instead of drawing closer to the one they loved and attained, and unable to deny Allah controls over all matters, they draw closer to Allah instead - just as those who suffer loss have to admit that there is no power and no might except by Allah. At the end, no matter where we go, or how far we go, whether we want to or not, every path will lead us back to Allah. Because He is the Truth. The Ultimate Truth.
So my sister, don't weep for what wasn't meant to be. Allah gives and Allah takes. Who are we to grudge His decisions? In the Here-after, we will cry tears of frustration if we don't use our time to get closer to Him in the duniya. Allah is there for you. Only Allah will forgive you over and over. Man, no matter how much you love him. No matter how much you are willing to die for him, will forgive you once, twice, three times.. and then not even want to look at you anymore. But not Allah. He will forgive you over and over, even if your sins were as high as the mountains. He didn't make jannah for the Prophets and pious only. Nooo... He made it for sinners like us too, so that we can repent and return to our eternal dwelling place - return to Him. Love/ marriage/wealth are all fine.. but these are temporary things limited to worldly pleasures. We don't have time to waste on mourning their loss sis. These things delude us into forgetting what is waiting for us in the here-after. We forget our purpose on earth. We were created to worship Allah subhana wa ta 'ala. Our true love. Because when you love Him through your worship, obedience and love what He loves and hate which He hates and bow to His will, He will impart such love and blessings on you that you won't want anything more again. The whole world's love put together cannot begin to compare to how it feels when Allah loves you. A man will tell you in the morning he loves you. By night you want to hear it again. So unsure are we about the love of humans that we need constant reassurance. But when Allah loves you my sis. Bas. There will be no doubt, no fear, no pain.. only the feeling that the thirst in your soul has finally been quenched. Such is the love of Allah, that everything else almost becomes non-existent in comparison. If you really want happiness. You really want peace and ever-lasting love, turn to Allah and love Him and you will get more than you could ever have dreamed of, and that's not just in this world, but also in the next. He is Allah. Love Him.
It is getting to a point in my life where i really am questioning Islam and i wish i didnt. I have read several of the posts and certain things dont make sense. I do follow all the five pillars of Islam and practice 5 times a day - but i feel like im just practicin 4 the sake of it i dont feel my heart is in it totally. My Ramazan went well and i managed to complete the Quran alhumdilliah - but i just dont know anymore im really confused. I think the whole topic on destiny and fate really do make me question islam. Ive been goin through depression for over a year now - but i refuse to take anti-depressants as i feel i can cope and dont want to get addicited to them. I really wanted to marry a muslim brother - but it did not go accordingly and since then my life has been upside down. I read in the previous thread that Allah decides our partners - what if it ends in divorce - why did allah choose that partner then when divorce is such a major sin.
Secondly, why do we have to fear allah - why cant we love Allah without the fear?
i dont know anymore.
We can love Allah without the fear. It's like saying, "I would like to help you out with the new account but I fear it would mean a lot of extra paperwork for me." In this sense fear means something more like respect and prudence. I'm sure it's the same in Arabic. If you want to talk to me in private about your doubts then by all means tell me so. I'm a da'i of sorts.
My only advice to you is love Allah more than anything/anyone... let Him bring you happiness and wait in patience for Him to deliver when the time right.
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- May Allah give you happiness and peace sister. Ameen. The Prophet (saw) said, "There is nothing better for those who love each other than marriage." (Ibn Majah). This, hadith applies to people who love each other and the love is equal and there is no deficiency in it. But when love is incomplete, yaani one sided, it is weakening and destructive and considered an ailment for which another cure must be sought. 
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