format_quote Originally Posted by
Maimunah
salaam.
from what i know is that if a brother wants to marry you, then he needs to speak to your wali n take it from there.
check this
"The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “Sin is that which wavers in your heart and which you do not like the people to find out about.” Narrated by Muslim (2553).
Secondly:
For a woman to speak to a man on the phone or otherwise, if it leads to her being tempted or being a source of temptation, it is haraam. That includes speaking of emotional matters such as love and affection, describing oneself, promising to meet and so on, because these are things that lead to immorality, and they are the steps that the shaytaan uses to trap women who are chaste and unaware. The wolf will carry on speaking softly, weaving dreams, making promises and swearing oaths until the woman falls prey to him. How often has honour been violated, how often have the sacred limits been transgressed, how many calamities have been caused, when the first step was a phone call?
Most of these wolves are liars and cheats who do not know the meaning of true love, and they have no intention of honourable marriage. They are only striving for depraved ends, and seeking to please the shaytaan. One of them stated that he does that sometimes for fun, sometimes for the love of power and temptation, and sometimes to feel proud that he entrapped So and so. And Allaah is the One Whose help we seek.
So beware, and save yourself. The most precious things that a woman possesses are her honour, her modesty and her chastity. This evil wolf will not be ashamed to mention his conquests to his friends, and he will say that he said such and such to her, and did such and such to her, until she is mentioned on the lips of the evildoers, and perhaps he may persuade her to meet him, or he will record her voice or take her picture, and use that a means to blackmail her and scare her, and try to get something even worse from her. May Allaah protect you and save you from all evil.
What we have said is not just mere words intended to scare you; rather it is a reference to dozens of stories that have actually happened in modern times, with the widespread availability of phones and chat rooms. They are sad and embarrassing stories that indicate the extent of the hard-heartedness of these playboys, and the weakness of women before their tricks. They clearly point to the greatness of the words of our Lord, may He be glorified and exalted (interpretation of the meaning):
“O you who believe! Follow not the footsteps of Shaytaan (Satan). And whosoever follows the footsteps of Shaytaan (Satan), then, verily, he commands Al‑Fahsha’ [i.e. to commit indecency (illegal sexual intercourse)], and Al‑Munkar [disbelief and polytheism (i.e. to do evil and wicked deeds; and to speak or to do what is forbidden in Islam)]. And had it not been for the Grace of Allaah and His Mercy on you, not one of you would ever have been pure from sins. But Allaah purifies (guides to Islam) whom He wills, and Allaah is All‑Hearer, All‑Knower”
[al-Noor 24:21]
Speaking on the phone may be one of the footsteps of the shaytaan, as may be a look, a smile or soft speech, which affects the one in whose heart is a disease, so he builds it into mountains of dreams and thoughts, which results in hopes, efforts and plots aimed at evil. Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):
“be not soft in speech, lest he in whose heart is a disease (of hypocrisy, or evil desire for adultery) should be moved with desire, but speak in an honourable manner”
[al-Ahzaab 33:32]
We ask our sister – may Allaah protect her and keep her safe – is a phone conversation between a young man and a young woman free from soft speech, laughter and so on? How can it be otherwise, when they are speaking of marriage and hoping to meet? How can there not be any fitnah (temptation), how can there not be any attachment, how can there not be any hope in the sick heart?
If these plotters say that they want to get married, this is a false claim, because the way to get married is well known and is easily accessible;: islam qa
wasalaam
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