My problem is with my 21 years old brother. He is very good looking man mashaAllah, not only attractive to girls but also to boys. He always come to me and keep telling me that his friends talk about his good looking and some of them even are always wondering how come he don't have any girl friends with such an attractive look he has.
My brother is trying his best to avoid fitnah...but I know its very hard for him, I cant see he is a very pious one, but he is trying very hard and always come to me to seek help when he feels that Shaytan is stronger than him. However, the thing I feared most is those weak times he goes through. I must admit that some of his friends are not that good people, they are not really his close friends but more like people in collage who just say salam to him. I fear that they are the ones who are always trying to seduced him to fell in the trap of Shaytan......Sometimes he come to me telling me that his friends are offering him some girls' numbers to hang around with!!!
Even if he went with some friends to any public place like parks or Malls, he keep telling me that their friends always tell him that girls are looking and he grab the attention of them, he keep lowering his gaze......sometimes his friends laugh at him when he do that....he tried to advise them many times, they are that type of people who get moved by the advice at one moment and forget about it when he leave them!!! that's why my brother don't go with them that much. I always advise him to cut his relation with them. Guess what, some of his friends ask him to go out with them just to be the attractive element in the group and he always refuse that
I can see his friends' influence at him because I see he care a lot about his look, and always make sure that he is very good looking before he go out the home....he is exaggerating things to be honest, and when I start telling him that he is exaggerating we always end up arguing
My brother is planning to be an Imam of a majid, and also a Munshed (Nasheed artist) because he has an awesome voice mashaAllah, how I can protect him and help him to reach his goal.
So you can see now that he is fighting himself and desires but sometimes he cant stand up that!!
tell him to grow a beard. a big hairy scary one it should be a good deterrent...
LOL.. although beards can be attractive also.
Sounds like your brother needs some new friends.
Maybe encourage him to focus on his goals that he wants to reach and not to go out so much.
May Allah guide and protect him. Ameen.
"And hold fast unto Allah, He is your protector, the best to protect and the best to help"
tell him to grow a beard. a big hairy scary one it should be a good deterrent...
ROFL.. you haven't taken into account sr. Donia's insight..
beards can be a sign of a brooding, charming handsome person.
I personally like beards I am sure I am not alone...
To the OP... there is alot of wisdom in the story of Yusuf (AS) I'd read it and reflect on its wisdom.. Yusuf was extremely handsome, but his is also a story of patience ...
Text without context is pretext If your opponent is of choleric temperament, seek to irritate him
lol, sisters you're right...but what i meant is that when a man has a beard then girls (and i wont even bother mentioning the guys :$)-even if they find him attractive-it would still deter them away and they aren't likely to act on these feelings...i mean it may be an admiration from a far, but i think that's how far she'll take it...
so if they dont act on their feelings then the brother will be less tempted as no-one would tell him which girl thinks he is attractive...even though it mentioned that the brother lowers his gaze and all, you just dont know when you're going to slip so prevention is better then cure..
so yes, the beard is like the hijaab<---even if brothers do find a sister attractive in her hijaab, it is a deterrent from him acting on his feelings (although that may depend on how the sister may act as well :$)
and always make sure that he is very good looking before he go out the home....he is exaggerating things to be honest, and when I start telling him that he is exaggerating we always end up arguing
tell him to grow a beard. a big hairy scary one it should be a good deterrent...
lol sister!
I think if he grow a beard he will be even more attractive Even though I have advised him several times to follow the Sunnah and grow his beard, he keep saying inshaAllah I will in the future but not now!!
its not that he is wearing clothes that reveal his body or something like that, he is very modest in dressing. Its just that he is attractive in the way he looks like and he can't help it.
I don't want him to pay more attention to that issue than he suppose to.
First of all tell your brother to remind others to say mashAllah in order to avoid the evil eye.
Secondly as has been adviced change friends. Being around pious people benefits alot, if the dog in surah Kahf benefitted from being around pious people I am sure your brother will benefit even more.
Lastly it is good that your brother has noble aims, instead of nasheed singer motivate him to become a Qari, recitor of the Qur'aan. What better use can he make of his voice then to draw people closer to the words of Allah?
I would also advice brothers and sisters to have modesty when posting in this thread
I agree that growing a beard will definitely deter the girls out there who are only after a cheap fling, which it sounds like they are if their numbers are being handed around willy-nilly. the women who may find beard attractive( I think) are the girls who would know when to lower their gaze.
OP - this seems to be a test for him. but one thing you might want him to consider is that while he has a nice voice and wants to be a nasheed artist, do you think that him being in the spotlight is necessarily a good thing. There are plenty of people who "fall in love" with nasheed artists because of their lyrics, voice and goodlooks. If its something he really wants to do then why not ask him to grow a beard and try to do the nasheeds without being in public view, especially where women are concerned.
how do you know every girl finds him attractive? Allah made every person different. what one girl likes another girl might dislike. i love modesty in a man its so attractive because it seems to be very rare nowadays.
I think if he grow a beard he will be even more attractive Even though I have advised him several times to follow the Sunnah and grow his beard, he keep saying inshaAllah I will in the future but not now!!
anyway
u see id find that a major turn off and run a mile. i would not worry to much sis i think its because you are related you find the need to protect him
First of all tell your brother to remind others to say mashAllah in order to avoid the evil eye.
Secondly as has been adviced change friends. Being around pious people benefits alot, if the dog in surah Kahf benefitted from being around pious people I am sure your brother will benefit even more.
Lastly it is good that your brother has noble aims, instead of nasheed singer motivate him to become a Qari, recitor of the Qur'aan. What better use can he make of his voice then to draw people closer to the words of Allah?
I would also advice brothers and sisters to have modesty when posting in this thread
well, he is considering that as well....its a part of his plan to become an Imam where he can be both an Imam (I mean a prayer leaders not scholar) Qari'e and Nasheed artist...he has a lot in his mind but can't organize his thoughts though.
format_quote Originally Posted by Rabi'ya
OP - this seems to be a test for him. but one thing you might want him to consider is that while he has a nice voice and wants to be a nasheed artist, do you think that him being in the spotlight is necessarily a good thing. There are plenty of people who "fall in love" with nasheed artists because of their lyrics, voice and goodlooks. If its something he really wants to do then why not ask him to grow a beard and try to do the nasheeds without being in public view, especially where women are concerned.
Yeah I know that, and I fear that as well
format_quote Originally Posted by cat eyes
how do you know every girl finds him attractive? Allah made every person different. what one girl likes another girl might dislike. i love modesty in a man its so attractive because it seems to be very rare nowadays.
No need to know that, the comments he/I/or anyone in the family hear are enough to know that.
format_quote Originally Posted by Binyamine
Peace Mercy And Blessing Of Allah be upon all of us.
Tell him to find himself a pious muslim girl to get married. Problem finished!!!
Thats already done....he engaged a girl and will marry in Summer inshaAllah
please make duaa that everything will work for him.
ok i had to laugh reading this topic, but i think itd be best to tell your brother to remember who he is. what im saying is sometimes the 'good looks' can go to a persons head and Alhumdulillah although it doesnt seem to have happened yet, it still can.
Our Lord! Verily, we have heard the call of one calling to Faith: 'Believe in your Lord,' and we have believed.
Our Lord! Forgive us our sins and expiate from us our evil deeds, and make us die (in the state of righteousness) along with Al-Abrar
My problem is with my 21 years old brother. He is very good looking man mashaAllah, not only attractive to girls but also to boys. He always come to me and keep telling me that his friends talk about his good looking and some of them even are always wondering how come he don't have any girl friends with such an attractive look he has.
My brother is trying his best to avoid fitnah...but I know its very hard for him, I cant see he is a very pious one, but he is trying very hard and always come to me to seek help when he feels that Shaytan is stronger than him. However, the thing I feared most is those weak times he goes through. I must admit that some of his friends are not that good people, they are not really his close friends but more like people in collage who just say salam to him. I fear that they are the ones who are always trying to seduced him to fell in the trap of Shaytan......Sometimes he come to me telling me that his friends are offering him some girls' numbers to hang around with!!!
Even if he went with some friends to any public place like parks or Malls, he keep telling me that their friends always tell him that girls are looking and he grab the attention of them, he keep lowering his gaze......sometimes his friends laugh at him when he do that....he tried to advise them many times, they are that type of people who get moved by the advice at one moment and forget about it when he leave them!!! that's why my brother don't go with them that much. I always advise him to cut his relation with them. Guess what, some of his friends ask him to go out with them just to be the attractive element in the group and he always refuse that
I can see his friends' influence at him because I see he care a lot about his look, and always make sure that he is very good looking before he go out the home....he is exaggerating things to be honest, and when I start telling him that he is exaggerating we always end up arguing
My brother is planning to be an Imam of a majid, and also a Munshed (Nasheed artist) because he has an awesome voice mashaAllah, how I can protect him and help him to reach his goal.
So you can see now that he is fighting himself and desires but sometimes he cant stand up that!!
please any help or duaa will be appreciated.
Asalaamu Alaikum Wr Wb,
One of the seven types of people whom Allah will shade on the Day of Judgment is “a man who, when approached by a beautiful woman (for fornication), abstains and says ‘I fear Allah.’” Not a man who has never seen a beautiful woman, but a man who, in the face of temptation, remembers his Lord, fears Him, and says, “No, I will not be enticed.”
So let us resist temptation our of the fear of Allah and be in the shade of Allah that day when there is no shade from the burning sun.
Allah, Glory be to Him, says in the Quran: "Do men think that they will be left alone on saying, 'We believe,' and that they will not be tested? We did test those before them, and Allah will certainly know those who are true from those who are false" (Quran, 29: 2-3).
By virtue of being created as human beings, we will be tested. We will be thrown into countless trials, into situations that may arise unpleasant and awkward, and into times of difficulty when it seems as though there is little reason to hope.
Tests will come at us from every direction; events will test the very core of our character and the strength of our beliefs. And these are the tests we cannot afford to fail. And Allah, Glory be to Him, has not left us empty-handed.
Building our knowledge and our characters as Muslims is the only way to overcome the mild to the severe trials we will face every day until we die. He says: "Have you not seen how Allah has given the parable of a beautiful word like a beautiful tree whose roots are firmly established, and whose branches tower in the sky? It gives its fruits at all times by the permission of its Lord, and Allah sets forth parables for mankind in order that they may remember" (Quran, 14: 24-25).
A "beautiful word" in this verse refers to the Islamic statement of belief: la illaha ill Allah (there is no being worthy of worship except Allah). And the verse goes on to refer to a beautiful tree, which illustrates the character of a believer.
According to this verse, a believer is one whose Iman, or faith, is unwavering and firmly established. He or she cannot be swayed from the straight path by the winds of trials, no matter how fierce the storm. Knowing and believing that there is no being worthy of worship except Allah, Glory be to Him, and following His commandments provides a believer with the stability and confidence he or she needs to succeed.
A believer's branches also "tower in the sky" like that of the beautiful tree. By this analogy, a believer's Iman cannot remain hidden. A Muslim cannot claim to have Iman solely in the heart while not having it show in his or her actions.
Contrary to that, Iman is something so significant that by its nature, it must be seen by anyone who looks at or interacts with a Muslim. Your Iman raises you up to a higher moral level, just as the braches of the beautiful tree reach upwards towards to the sky.
These verses also mention that this tree that is compared with a true believer "gives its fruits at all times by the permission of its Lord." The tree of Iman is ever fruitful, unlike a real tree that only gives fruits at certain times of the year.
Your faith and your belief in la illaha ill Allah sustains you night and day, in every season, during times of ease and times of great hardship. This is the parable of the believer whose good deeds never take a vacation – they are continuous throughout the day and the night. The chapter goes on to say "And the parable of an evil word is that of an evil tree uprooted from the surface of earth having no stability" (Quran 14: 26). An "evil word" in this verse refers to disbelief.
The verse describes the powerlessness and volatility of disbelief – it has no basis and he or she who disbelieves has little stability in life. The trials and difficulties of life can easily uproot such a person.
May Allah, Glory be to Him, make us be of those who are firmly rooted in their beliefs.
Islamic history is riddled with examples of Muslims who withstood tests that would seem unimaginably difficult today.
The Muslims of the past had an abundance of patience and perseverance which are two important traits of this beautiful tree of Iman.
Two Muslims who were of the most firmly rooted of believers were Sumayyah and Yasir, may God be pleased with them. After being among the first Muslims and agreeing to accept Islam in a very tumultuous period, Sumayyah and Yasir along with their son Ammar were tortured mercilessly at the hands of Abu Jahl. The family was left unprotected since they had no tribal affiliations in Makkah.
Unable to physically help them at the time, the prophet Muhammad, peace be upon him, would visit them and say, "be patient, O family of Yasir, because your promised place is Paradise." He would then turn his face to the sky and say: "O Lord! Forgive the family of Yasir." The prophet also prayed for the alleviation of Ammar's suffering by placing Ammar's head in his lap and saying: "O fire! Be cool and harmless for Ammar in the same manner in which you became cool and harmless for Ibrahim."
Sumayyah and Yasir were both martyred in the cause of Allah, Glory be to Him, after refusing to leave their faith which was dearer to them than life itself. The family was honoured with the best of honours: the prophet's guarantee of their home in paradise. These are the examples we should take as guides to our own lives. Too often do we compromise what we believe in to accommodate the uneducated assumptions of others. Too often do we forget the immense history of Islam and Muslims.
One of the reasons we have the gift of Islam is because we stand on the shoulders of people like Sumayyah and Yasir, may Allah be pleased with them. People who did not waver, did not compromise their Iman to please others or even to save their own lives. Just like in our Islamic history, our strength as a community and as individuals today can only stem from the remembrance of and obedience to Allah, Glory be to Him. These times are difficult and the pain often hits close to home. But by holding fast to our belief in la illaha ill Allah , we will stay firmly rooted, our branches will tower high towards the sky, and our hearts will never lack sustenance, InshaAllah.
Sources:Tafsir Ibn Kathir, Volume 5
Allah tells us that we will be tested. He also makes it clear to us what is expected from us when we undergo these trials and what our reward will be if we are successful.
He says: “Be sure we shall test you with something of fear and hunger, some loss in goods, lives and the fruits (of your toil) but give glad tidings to those who patiently persevere. Those who, when misfortune strikes them, say: ‘Indeed we belong to Allah and to Him is our return. Those are the ones upon whom are blessings and mercy from their Lord and it is those who are rightly guided.” [Sûrah al-Baqarah: 155]
The Prophet (peace be upon him)said: "No fatigue, illness, anxiety, sorrow, harm or sadness afflicts any Muslim, even to the extent of a thorn pricking him, without Allah wiping out his sins by it." [Sahîh al-Bukhârî and Sahîh Muslim]
In another narration, the Prophet (peace be upon him) said: “No Muslim is afflicted by harm, whether it is but the prick of a thorn or something worse, without Allah expiating his evil deeds on account of it and his sins falling away from him like leaves off a tree.'" [Sahîh al-Bukhârî]
The Prophet (peace be upon him) said: "When Allah desires good for someone, He tries him with hardships." [Sahîh al-Bukhârî]
In reality, the entire Sacred Law is a tremendous blessing for us in this life and the next.
Obligations that initially seem difficult to fulfill have a polishing effect on the heart until eventually the one's entire perspective changes. Outward submission leads to inward submission and heart fills with love and gratitude for Allah.
Obligations are not meant to be hammered out reluctantly; they are meant to be offered in the spirit of heartfelt gratitude to Allah for the myriad blessings that each of us has been given. Someone who is realized in this state will do everything for Allah; "worldly" activities such as eating, drinking, and conversing with friends are all performed with the intention of drawing closer to Allah.
Such a person will not worry over possible future problems, nor will he grieve over past difficulties, for he is busy with the One he loves. This is true happiness and anyone who misses out on it will never know the meaning of contentment.
So know that Allah is testing us because he wants good for us and he wants to see if we are going to come closer to him or more further away from him.
Shaythan is wanting us to weaken and fail the tests from Allah so will we let shaythan win? Or will we make the best of these opportunities and get closer to Allah than we have EVER been?
For if we are patient then Allah is with us so NOTHING can hurt or effect us!
Allah mentions in the Qur'an:
“Indeed Allah is with those who are patient.”
If one is patient, and is among the ones described in the following manner in the Qur’an (Baqarah, 2: 256)
Inna Lillahi Wa Inna Ilaihee Raaji'oon
“To Allah We belong, and to Him is our return”:-
The Reward for Patience is Paradise
‘Ata ibn Rabah related that he heard Ibn ‘Abbas say: “Shall I show you a woman of Paradise?” I said: “Yes, indeed.” He said: “A black woman came to the Prophet, peace be upon him, and said: ‘I suffer from epileptic fits, and because of these, (at times) my body becomes uncovered. Would you invoke Allah, the Exalted One, to cure me of this disease? ‘ The Prophet, peace be upon him, said: ‘If you wish, you can be patient and you will attain Paradise (for this suffering). But if you prefer, I will pray to Allah, the Exalted, to cure you of it?’ The woman said: ‘I will be patient,’ then added: ‘I become uncovered (when I have fits), so invoke Allah for me that I do not become uncovered. ‘ So the Prophet, peace be upon him, prayed for her.” [Source: Fiqh-us-Sunnah, volume 4, #1a]
So tests and calamitys are a blessing in disguise and Allah wanting us to get closer to him so if we bare with in with Patience hoping for reward then Allah is with us and best of all we will get closer to Allah and feel true contentment and happiness in the heart and we will attain Paradise inshallah!
I hate having this problem to.lol all kidding aside a a Christian i fight the same thing, really. I am a darker complection, brown eyed, black hair Italian (usually mistaken for an Indian or Afghani...seriously) I do like to dress well though, i wear armani and custom italian suits for business, but i am always coverd(modestly) My wife gets mad all the time, not at me, at the other women. I am very nieve when it comes to women and can't tell when they are sending signals or hitting on me, most of the time right in front of my wife.They think she is just a freind because she is south Indian and i guess they don't put 2 and 2 together? keep in mind i was never allowed to date or hang out with women,that is forbidden in my family unless married of course. Just tell him to remember that God is always watching and knows whats in his heart.
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it should be a good deterrent...
Even though I have advised him several times to follow the Sunnah and grow his beard, he keep saying inshaAllah I will in the future but not now!!
how do you know every girl finds him attractive?
Re: Handsome man need help to avoid fitnah!
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