I guess I should start from the beginning but hopefully I can find away back to Islam at the end of it... Both my parents are traditional Muslims with traditional conservative values. So obv i was brought up in the traditional way learning Arabic, reading the Koran etc. I never questioned Islam as a child and I did what was expected of me. But living in a western society peer pressure and being a teenager social life caught up with me and i choose a bad path which my parents followed me down, at the age of 15/16 my parents came down on me hard, truthfully there was a lot of argument, fights and tears... but i found the right path again.
Now Im 18 and well though i found the right path in terms of morals and education, spirtually Im more confused than ever. Since the age of 15 I've never prayed for the right reasons, either my mother nagged me till i did or just for the sake of my mum not nagging me. And at the peak of my teen craziness i didn't touch the prayer mat let alone the mosque, rather more interested in what the devil had to offer me from parties to well I'm gonna be truthful sex before marriage.
Now that I've 'calmed down' and taking the path to adulthood the spiritual aspects begin to dawn on me. For sometime I've been lying to my parents my again doing what suppose to be expected of me, Salah, Friday Prayers at the mosque and saying all the right things at the right times. Privately i have my reservations about Islam, currently again I'm living in sin I have a GF and she's atheist, the reason I'm here is because of her she made me realises i need to be honest about how i feel instead of keeping everything behind close doors because its a bigger sin to know your sinning but do nothing to stop it or something like that I'm not sure really?
My values have changed since as well, hence the reason I have a gf and we are sexually active. Moreover i guess good things have come out of this as well personally im more tolerant of all other religions and politically well I'm a liberal i guess. But this doesn't make what I'm doing right i suppose, don't get me wrong i believe there is a God but is Islam what i truly believe in, ? on that question for now. The few Muslim friends I have apart from family, i confided in them and they said i need to talk to my Imam, unfortunately i haven't spoken to my Imam since i was 9 and i don't even have his number.
Truthfully I'm scared of whats happened, i have forgotten how to read the Koran, i haven't touched it in how many years God knows, im forgetting the surah's i've learned. And now i barely even roll out my prayer rug, I'm in soo deep that it feels like there is no going back i guess this is my wake up call....... What do I do
Why don't you just set priorities? You know what you crave for and obviously you don't resist it. You know what Islam is made of. You have to choose. Never try to explain your acts with your age.
Perhaps you could start off by making a list of your reservations and try to find answers for them?
hmm i guess you are right well to be honest many of the rules to me seem ludicrous in Islam, i guess in religion you need strict rules, but why listening to music is a sin is beyond me?
I find some of the rules biased towards male gender rather than equality, though people tell me not complain, I've always believed in equality.
I find the rule of not being able to mix with the opposite sex a bit ridiculous, since its the 21st Century, believe it or not just because you mix with opposite sex doesnt mean you'll end up having sex b4 marriage.
Apart from the general rules mostly I've had this issue with Islam and Christianity from what I've learnt, i find that there are many similarities between the two faiths. Yet didn't Christianity come first? So is Islam just a follow up from Christianity which could of been the right religion and Islam just seems to copy it but be a bit more stricter. I know I've generalised it a bit too much but overall in simple terms that is just 1 the many reservations I've had about it. Thanx 4 your reply though brother
Look, teen years are hard. I understand. But you are revealling your sins to us. This is bad. Why are you telling us your a adulterer? I understand you want to explain but never reveal sin.it angers Allah.
Now. Firstly this g.f. You either marry her and have her accept islam. A wife is lawful or you ditch this girl and sort your life out.
You really need to know why salah is important. Why should we pray? Cose Allah ordered us to and made us only so we worship him. Then do a dua. Be honest, open your heart to allah. He knows everything but he will love if u speak to him rather than any man. Tell him you want righteousness, ask for his mercy( read terms and conditions for this!) Tell him EVERYTHING. inshallah he will hold your hand, and when he does, you will feel like you can fly. That is the hand that never lets go.
I hope i made sense and i hope u find peace because your current lifestyle seems empty and meaningless. And thats how things are without Allah.
I dont want to go on. So il leave it at that.
and were all to blame, gone toO far from pride to shame, were trying so hard, were dying in vain, were hopelessly blissful and blind to all we are, we want it all, with no SACRIFICE!!
Why don't you just set priorities? You know what you crave for and obviously you don't resist it. You know what Islam is made of. You have to choose. Never try to explain your acts with your age.
May Allah guide you.
Do we really know what Islam is made of? Its written in foreign tongue that i personally don't understand, I'm not sure about you brother if you understand the language but it was written over 1400 years ago, so are we really getting the truth or is it like Chinese whispers where a lot of things have been lost in translation etc
Look, teen years are hard. I understand. But you are revealling your sins to us. This is bad. Why are you telling us your a adulterer? I understand you want to explain but never reveal sin.it angers Allah.
Now. Firstly this g.f. You either marry her and have her accept islam. A wife is lawful or you ditch this girl and sort your life out.
You really need to know why salah is important. Why should we pray? Cose Allah ordered us to and made us only so we worship him. Then do a dua. Be honest, open your heart to allah. He knows everything but he will love if u speak to him rather than any man. Tell him you want righteousness, ask for his mercy( read terms and conditions for this!) Tell him EVERYTHING. inshallah he will hold your hand, and when he does, you will feel like you can fly. That is the hand that never lets go.
I hope i made sense and i hope u find peace because your current lifestyle seems empty and meaningless. And thats how things are without Allah.
I dont want to go on. So il leave it at that.
**** thats new i thought being open was a good thing,i respect your views sister fair enough, but it angers God that Im open and honest to people ? Speak to God rather than any man but ugh I'm suppose to talk to God but i feel like a child like asking these questions but how do i get reply from God then? Whats the point of talking to God about my sins when he already knows? It aint making sense to me ?
More importantly if God Knows I'm going to do bad things before it happens, so my path is layed out before i've done it then why am I being punished for it?
hmm i guess you are right well to be honest many of the rules to me seem ludicrous in Islam, i guess in religion you need strict rules, but why listening to music is a sin is beyond me?
I find some of the rules biased towards male gender rather than equality, though people tell me not complain, I've always believed in equality.
I find the rule of not being able to mix with the opposite sex a bit ridiculous, since its the 21st Century, believe it or not just because you mix with opposite sex doesnt mean you'll end up having sex b4 marriage.
Apart from the general rules mostly I've had this issue with Islam and Christianity from what I've learnt, i find that there are many similarities between the two faiths. Yet didn't Christianity come first? So is Islam just a follow up from Christianity which could of been the right religion and Islam just seems to copy it but be a bit more stricter. I know I've generalised it a bit too much but overall in simple terms that is just 1 the many reservations I've had about it. Thanx 4 your reply though brother
Thank you. Ok. These questions arise as symptoms of not having the required yaqeen (faith) in the first place. The root question your heart is asking you is "why should I believe Muhammad SAW spoke the truth?". It's an understandable question. Can I ask, have you ever read the biography (seerah) of the Prophet SAW?
The thing is, once you completely have faith that Muhammad SAW spoke the truth, you will strive to do exactly as he said, so all that you question in the post I quoted would become non-issues. You would realise that Islam is the true sense of guidance and the 21st century supposed 'enlightenment' does not have the answers.
The cure for doubt is knowledge. So perhaps you should start reading Islamic books. Go back to the basics. It's apparent from your posts that you really need to do this, and this will help to answer your questions. If you have faith in Allaah (swt), then everything else will fall into place Insha'Allaah.
Don't let shaytaan deceive you into thinking you've gone 'too deep'. Remember that Allaah (swt) is the Most Merciful and loves to forgive. You only have to ask...
May Allaah (swt) guide you and fill your heart with the light of Islam, Aameen.
Let me tell you what is happening to you. Your in conflict. A small part of you has realised, that Allah is calling you. But this shaytaan is holding you back. The point of talking to God- only he can help you , and he will love that you are talking to him. allah loves us sn much, more than how mother loves her own child. Ok, the sins part. Imagine someone comits a crime. You go to his parents and hide it, cover it. Then ur frend tells ur parents. Its like your frend just slapped you in the face.
I want you to forget about music. Your not at the stage to give it up yet.
You need to open to Allah. He can only help you. And when u talk to him he will inshallah fill your heart with comfort. Thats when you will know.
True everything is written already, but dont you see, it was written for you to question yourself, for you to come here. Why? Because i believe your righteous. Maybe you will taste bit of islam and go back to bad ways but i feel even if you do, 1 day you wil bounce back up.
Your seeking answers.this is a good thing.
Now the quran. Written years ago but does apply even today. The book of Allah is complete. Doesnt matter what day and age you are in. Islam is 100%
True through translation bits are lost, but it gives us understanding.
Heres what you should do. First pillar. Shahada.believe in allah and messengers. This is first step. Research. Why islam, allah-how and why? Proofs etc.
Your a good kid. I got a feeling about you.
Last edited by desert winds; 01-16-2010 at 12:28 AM.
and were all to blame, gone toO far from pride to shame, were trying so hard, were dying in vain, were hopelessly blissful and blind to all we are, we want it all, with no SACRIFICE!!
i will try to answer from my basic knowledge and keep the answers short as not to bore everyone
I find some of the rules biased towards male gender rather than equality, though people tell me not complain, I've always believed in equality.
As you know men and women are not exactly identical they have strentghs and weakness. Unfortunaly in this society women are in fact made to feel inferior by making them compete with men in the work place etc...
We all have our role that we have been created for and we excell above the others in this,
eg. women are natural home makers and mothers.
men are natural bred winners.
when you mingle the two you start getting social probelms and stress.
Allah is the All-wise and All-Knowing. He is the one who created us and Knows best about what is right and wrong for us, good and bad for us.
He is in fact of Infinite Wisdom and Knowledge
where as we are limited in both. So if we dont understand why God has done x y or z we need to try to understand, not reject or rebel- because that is the way of iblis when he was commanded to bow down to Adam.
Its ok to ask questions for the sake of clarification and understanding, even things that might seem taboo, but to question God or reject Him based on the fact you failed to understand something is not just.
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**** thats new i thought being open was a good thing,i respect your views sister fair enough, but it angers God that Im open and honest to people ? Speak to God rather than any man but ugh I'm suppose to talk to God but i feel like a child like asking these questions but how do i get reply from God then? Whats the point of talking to God about my sins when he already knows? It aint making sense to me ?
More importantly if God Knows I'm going to do bad things before it happens, so my path is layed out before i've done it then why am I being punished for it?
If God knows that you are going to do bad things, then why should God punish you? Well, rationally, you did the bad things yourself, didnt ya? Did God force you to do bad things? Just because He is all-KNowing, He should not punish you for what your hands have earned? This is one the earlier symptoms which shows one is falling into atheism or at least agnosticism. Yes, God has pre-determined your life. But no one knows what your life pre-determined to be. it could be anything from infinite pathways. You will decide what pathway you take. Once something has become a matter of past, it means that is exactly what God willed. Since you had fornication with this atheist girl, it mean God had willed it. But God did not force you to do it. You did it yourself. Dont blame God, blame yourself. If you had chosen not to do it, that would mean that God would have willed that. Its as simple as that. God' predetermining our life means that He utilized His all-knowing skills of what actions we will do and based on them as a whole, He wrote them down in the Book and that is exactly what pre-determination means. It is a complex topic and I have only extremely summarized it. But that is the general gist of it. So God can will whatever He wants but He is Merciful and He has willed, for most purposes, what He knows we would do.
If you feel that you need to believe in God, start by dumping this atheist girl friend (who knows she MIGHT dump you if you accept Islam, if she MIGHT thing you are an option for her, why do you make her a priority, I am not judging her, just pointing out to an alternate outcome). Is she also an ex-Muslim? You are not in a position to give her dawah right now as you yourself are in doubt due to the effects of her company on you. If you feel that you have done bad, dump this girl, at least for the moment. Seek knowledge and develop certainty that God exists. After taking all these steps, you still cannot come to a certainty that God exists then it means your bad company with atheist girl friends has had deep impacts in your life. ...
I pray to God to give you guidance and take away from all those who rebel against God by rejecting His very Omnipotent presence which cannot be seen yet its obvious. If God exists, I am 100% certain that He does, then He has all the right to punish the atheists because they rebelled against Him. If the atheists claim that there was no sufficient evidence, God can simply point out to them and tell, "yet you see those believers, they felt they had enough evidence to believe in me ...." or something along those lines because of course I do not know what God would says but I do know How He will treat as it is written in His book the Quran.
You are wrong in assuming that your tolerance of other religions is because you have given up on Islam and lived in the company of an atheist girl. Thats a very illogical view. Many Muslims are tolerant of other religions, probably more than you, yet they are Muslims. So to think that you have become liberal and a tolerant human being due to atheism, that would be a delusion, just that.
and what do you mean "a book written in foreign language?" If I did not know English, would it be moral for me to shrug off your request for help by saying "what is this madman talking in a foreign language?" Develop some humility and then you can work it out by God's help.
Last edited by CosmicPathos; 01-16-2010 at 02:34 AM.
Help me to escape from this existence
I yearn for an answer... can you help me?
I'm drowning in a sea of abused visions and shattered dreams
In somnolent illusion... I'm paralyzed
Well you're 18 and that age is well interesting to say the least. It comes with a good amount of pressure from the outside as well inside yourself. No one is perfect and you've come to the conclusion that you have made mistakes and want to correct them. That is the first step to making amends for your sins.
I can not nor will I speak on you and your girlfriend's relationship. It is none of my business and I can not pass judgement on you for what you do. However people change and grow as the years pass. It is possible that she could turn to Islam if she reads the Quran. It is always possible for anyone to learn the true path especially if they weren't raised in a religious environment or one that had much exposure to Islam. However that is for her to decide on her own. It is possible that Allah brought the two of you together for that very reason. I don't know though as that is for Allah to reveal to the two of you.
Nice , for one atleast you have started pondering.
Since you seem to be reluctant to hear anything foreign language has to say , try watching this video .This will clear up somnehting for u .( documentary on islam by CBS)
I want you to forget about music. Your not at the stage to give it up yet. You need to open to Allah. He can only help you. And when u talk to him he will inshallah fill your heart with comfort. Thats when you will know.
True everything is written already, but dont you see, it was written for you to question yourself, for you to come here. messengers. This is first step. Research. Why islam, allah-how and why? Proofs etc.
Your a good kid. I got a feeling about you.
Thank you for your kind words sister, i read your comment before i fell asleep last night, and I'm starting to understand. I opened up this morning to Allah but it was understandably hard to open up and didn't feel right but i guess that because i haven't done it for so long. I'm willing to try and have a open mind as i try to find the right path". So what texts would anyone recommend for me to read apart from the English translation of the Quran ?
Can I ask you if you still believe in God?
If so, have you tried spending time with him in prayer and asking him for guidance?
I think desert wind's advice to open your heart and soul and mind to God is an excellent one.
Be expectant to hear from God! Listen to his small voice in your heart!
I hope and pray that things go well for you.
Peace glo
Here I stand.
I can do no other.
May God help me.
Amen.
Come, let us worship and bow down •
and kneel before the Lord our Maker
[Psalm 95]
So what texts would anyone recommend for me to read apart from the English translation of the Quran ?
A good biography of the Prophet SAW. There's one called the Sealed Nectar which is available online as a pdf. There's also Ibn Kathir's Stories of the Prophets which is also available online. I'd advise these definitely. If you're relatively distant from the religion, learning about them give you perspective on what this life is and what role religion plays.
Is she also an ex-Muslim?
and what do you mean "a book written in foreign language?" If I did not know English, would it be moral for me to shrug off your request for help by saying "what is this madman talking in a foreign language?" Develop some humility and then you can work it out by God's help.
Thank you for helping answer one of the questions about pre-determination, it was insightful. Firstly, No my gf isn't an Ex-Muslim, she used to believe in Christianity but certain incidents in her life led her away from God totally.
Secondly, forgive me if i sounded a little crude in my topic. Many things in Islam do anger me and therefore i get a little passionate about it, and when i meant its written in foreign language. When the Imams recite these words in Arabic, how many of us really know what he's saying its seems like we just all nod along without actually knowing the meaning of the word, i am not saying everyone but it feels the majority don't have the a total picture of what is being said, sometimes i even wonder do the Imams themselves know? Its all good regurgitating the words of Allah, but shouldn't we be able to actually fully understand what's being said?
I guessing you are very literate in Arabic?
With due respects to be honest as children and my own experience when you learn Arabic you learn the alphabet etc etc and then you read the Quran but in my own experience i was never taught what the words actually meant, i could recite the Quran at one point perfectly but what did it all mean that was never taught to me. I am not sure if that's how its done now?
I guess you are right it is the effect of my GF company that i realised I've been a Muslim for over 15yrs but when ever she asks me a question about my faith i draw blanks "?". But without her i would of let myself go on practising a religion that i don't know much about. I know the basic what to do and what not to do but then even the Kafir's know them.
Now. Firstly this g.f. You either marry her and have her accept islam. A wife is lawful or you ditch this girl and sort your life out.
Forgive me again if i come out sounding a bit rude but Marriage seems like the only way for you to mix with the opposite sex, my mother has a fit if I'm seen with a girl who is actually my friend. It sounds very medieval, one brother answered by saying and i totally respect your view brother that
when you mingle the two you start getting social probelms and stress?
How does me walking with my friend and talking to her turn into a social problem, Am I showing indecent behaviour by talking to her? I see the stress part in terms of my parents stressing but it seems ludicrous.
But marrying at the age of 18 isn't the smartest thing to do plus there is a whole issue surrounding her ethnicity and my family approving etc but if i do marry her lawfully does she have to convert to Islam? i know this sounds a bit naive and unintelligent, but I've seen Muslim brothers marry non-believers is it possible for me to still be Muslim whilst having a Non-believer spouse? My gut instinct is No obv but i'd still like clarification.
But again this is only a small issue i think i need concentrate about finding faith in God again firstly.
thanx for your reply brothers and sisters especially that video about Muhammad SAW from brother zakirs
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