Question about marriage

**anonymous** · 10-02-2010

Asalaamu Alaikum,

I have a question about marriage.
I am a 30 year old guy and I am not very good looking nor very rich. I want to get married and I heard during kutbahs that its very important in Islam. However, I am attracted to beautiful girls only. I created a list of 20 beautiful girls I saw during different social gatherings and asked my parents to make marriage proposals for me. Unfortunately all the 20 girls refused one after the other because after my parents showed them my pictures during the proposal, they saw that I am not good looking and also my parents told them that I am not a doctor/lawyer/engineer/banker etc(girls are attracted to these kind of men). Now because my parents know that it's high time for me to get married, they are forcing me to get married to a girl I am not attracted to AT ALL and I am completely opposed to it. She said that she wants to get married to me but I do not like her!! I know that marrriage is a good solution to people who have sexual needs but I know myself very well and I am 100% sure that I will not have any sexual urges and commit zina or any other forms of illegal sexual acts like masturbation/watching porn if I do not get married!!!!! I never did all those things until now anyway...

I have 2 simple questions to the very helpful people of the board:

Is it a sin to not get married?
Like all Muslims, my dream is to get admission into Jannat. Will not getting married reduce my chances of getting admission into Jannat?

If it's not haraam to not get married, then I have no problem staying single!! However, if it is haraam to stay single, then I fear that I will have get married to the girl I am not attracted to

.

Jazack Allah

**anonymous** · 10-05-2010

Originally Posted by - Qatada -

http://www.likeagarment.com/

website is closed

Originally Posted by - Qatada -

I would recommend you keep searching around and doing Istikharah prayer each time

Jazack Allah for your advice

**Ummu Sufyaan** · 10-06-2010

to add to my advice before one way you could overcome this problem is that you have to be religious yourself. so start praying if you dont and all the rest of it...the reason being is that the more you become closer to allah, the more you you love those who are also close to allah and the more you dislike those who aren't. we are always drawn to people who are similar to us and who have the same interests as us...

so even though attraction is important and should be considered when selecting a spouse, i suppose those similarities will most likely be considered along side attraction... it maybe through piety that one can be more physically attractive.

**anonymous** · 10-06-2010

Originally Posted by Ummu Sufyaan

it maybe through piety that one can be more physically attractive

You are **** right because one of Allah's 99 names is Al-Muswawwir meaning 'The Shaper of Beauty'

**'Abd Al-Maajid** · 10-06-2010

Originally Posted by Abdullahii

if you get ill and you are about to vomit and you plea for help she'll say to you 'get upstairs and vomit in the toilet fool!'....you want a sister with good character that will say 'here have my waterproof hijab....vomit on there!'

LOL...That was verrry funny brother...

**Asiyah3** · 10-06-2010

Originally Posted by Ummu Sufyaan

to add to my advice before one way you could overcome this problem is that you have to be religious yourself. so start praying if you dont and all the rest of it...the reason being is that the more you become closer to allah, the more you you love those who are also close to allah and the more you dislike those who aren't. we are always drawn to people who are similar to us and who have the same interests as us...

so even though attraction is important and should be considered when selecting a spouse, i suppose those similarities will most likely be considered along side attraction... it maybe through piety that one can be more physically attractive.

True. I've noticed that people with same taqwa level are usually together.

**anonymous** · 12-02-2010

Reading that just made me question mankind. Are muslims really that vain? They prefer the beauty of a face and neglect all else that matters. This is not Islam. This is the love of this dunya, and the trickery of Shaytan.