I cant seem to post this without my details so please dont judge me... Im scared to be around my brother in law, about ten years ago when he married my sister and came from pakistan he stayed in my family home, due to lack of space he slept in my room during the day and i slept there at night. He made me do things which i werent comfortsble with but bein young from a sheltered lifestyle i didnt know what to do or say, i started sayin no and things stopped. He moved out with my sis and for years i didnt talk to him unless i had to infront parents etc... And over time i questioned myself over the past and thought maybe im imagin things, if i was asleep on the sofa, i would wake up from sense someone is watchin me an then he'd be standing there. Im married to his brother, yes its a dawati shaadi as i come from a very traditionl family.. Anyways i moved in with my bro law and sis since i got married, didnt really c bro in law and cos it'd soo long i'd not really spoken to him i'd not given it a second thought... It has always been a part of me which only 2 close friends know about but recently my sis had to go pak in emergency, leavin her son with me. So this left me my nephew an bro law in the house, my nephew stayed at his cuz house and that left me and him, he came into my room and started talkin to me and threw in the convo he wants to sleep on the same bed as me... This scared me soo much i jus praye he went away, he evem tried to get in bed but i raised my voice and said no, he wouldnt go away and sat for over an hour, as he left he kissed my cheek and went to other room but then came back sayin he left his phone but kisse my cheek again and said maybe this is the reason i had to cime back, as soon as he went i cried sooo much, even upset now. My nephew was away for a few days and every night he'd come into my room and call me, i pretended to sleep eventhough i hardly slept through fear and he'd say are u ok and say o didnt realise ur sleeping etc, maybe id find it normal the first day but not every day.. I couldnt go to mums as she'd ask wats wrong and i cant tell anyone, what am i meant to say?? Even now he txt me to say call me when your free, i rang but no answer, then i went to bed and he call me and says come to my room need to have a word, i said no angrily lukily my nephew was at home otherwise id be really scared. He then said fine and hung up, 5 mins later he rang and goes i jus wanted to say im going to be out of town tom and back late so look after kids, and im thinking u could have told me on phone , he didnt have to ask me to go to him. He tried to make chit chat but i gave one word replies and theb ended convo... Im sooo scared of him and worry there nay be a point we may be alone, i cant tell anyone as it'll affect and mess up sooo many peoples lives. Im due to move out soon inshAllah but still cant get this oyt my system, i dont no why im writing this, just need to get it out as i feel trapped
Just calm down and tell them but if you cant bare to say the words or u are too nervous then write them down in a letter. Either read the letter that you have written to your family or write one to each (parents, sister, husband) and sit with them seperately as they read. Tell them everything that you have told us and how it makes you feel when he does those things and how u want it to stop....just simply pour your heart out in the letter and be 100% honest. You can do it sis and everything will turn out for the best Inshallah *BIG HUG*
"Yesterday is history. Tomorrow is a mystery. Today is a gift. That's why we call it 'The Present'."
seeing as its quite huge, first before even talking to my partner i would offer 2 rakaat and ask for Allahs help.
then after sending peace and blessings upon ar-rasool sallallahi alaihi wasallaam recite as much dua asking for Allahs help and protection.
Then i would sit with my partner explaining that what im about to talk about i wish i never ever ever had to say but... i hav no choice and take it from there
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My tears testify that i have a heart
yet i feel me and shaytan never part
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i am not in this favor. bcz i am always of this mind, "log chehra dakh kar dhrapar marty han...hum ko asy sorat hi nhe banani chahey ka koi humari tarf ungli bi utha sakay".....
pheli gghalti tum nay ya ki kay u had stayed with him alone. so ab jo ho gya so h gay. it cant be returned now, the lesson to learn is nw be careful in future. do came out of this hole of culturism and traditionalism and learn what islam is telling about and try to follow it.
Asalaamu Alaikum, My sister you should first tell someone within your family who you feel most comfortable with and will help and support you through this. You must not hide these serious matters from your husband.
Obviously this is a very big thing which is going to be exposed to your family but they deserve to know and you should not just think about how hard it is going to be for you to come out with this but you should think to yourself "My husband and sister have a right to know about this so i cannot hide it from them any longer".
Your husband has a right to know if another man is trying it on with his wife and your sister deserves to know what kind of a man she is married to and your family also deserves to know what kind of a son in law they have.
The longer you delay it the worst This situation will get. You should never want to hide such a thing as your family deserve to know the truth about him.
So firstly tell the person who you feel most comfortable with and they can help you expose it to the rest of the family or you can write a letter as the sister has stated whichever way you feel most comfortable. But you must not delay this any longer and you should never stay in a house with any non mahram again as it is not permissable to do so. You should not be ashamed going to your mothers house as this is far better than being alone in a house with a non mahram.
Ask of Allah to make things easy for you and for justice to be done inshallah.
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