?

Allah doesn't want anyone to die as a kaafir unless He chooses to die like that. In contrast to what you believe, Allah says: "So their Lord accepted their prayer: That I will not waste the work of a worker among you, whether male or female..." [3:195]

Allah (swt) will not allow a righteous to enter hell unless He chooses this path. Allah can see in the hearts of the people and if He sees you sincerely trying to avoid hell and attain paradise, He will give you the ability to do so and will make the path to paradise easy. If you choose to do evil, ignore and neglect the signs and admonition to do good, Allah will will constrict the path to paradise and ease the way to hell because this is what you chose.

Allah (swt) tests those whom He loves, He never allows His beloved ones to stay in a state of constant ease and relaxation because this leads to inner heedlessness and negligence. Even water stagnates if it stands in the same place for too long. But when water moves from its place and begins to flow, it retains its freshness.

Don't be displeased at Allah's remembrance of you, desiring and endeavouring to get the very best out of you, in this life and the next. Be pleased that Allah wants to raise you and, not expose, but iron out the defects in you. Be optimistic of Him, pessimism will only distance you from the best of well wishers.

too much misery hardens the heart as ease leaves it heedless. I don't believe that these tests are out of love but wrath, and I don't know what I did to incur God's wrath

format_quote Originally Posted by anonymous

too much misery hardens the heart as ease leaves it heedless. I don't believe that these tests are out of love but wrath, and I don't know what I did to incur God's wrath

To incur the Wrath of God(swt) would indeed be a horrible fate. But I doubt if one who has incurred the Wrath of God(swt) would last long in this Dunya as the wrath of God(swt) would surpass all pains this physical realm could possibly mete out.

Strange as it seems, the greatest pains and sorrows we face are very often great gifts we have yet to understand. Sometimes these things are needed as preparation for what we will gain in the future. Many of us who have suffered greatly in this dunya, learn that it was necessary for us to be prepared for something great in the future. Preparation is painful, but it very often opens the doors to unsurpassed joy.

format_quote Originally Posted by anonymous

too much misery hardens the heart as ease leaves it heedless. I don't believe that these tests are out of love but wrath, and I don't know what I did to incur God's wrath

All hardships relieve us from the sins of our wrong doings until we walk on the earth with no sin in our account. The greatest part of hardship is tasting relief. Look forward to it, every cloud has a silver lining.

format_quote Originally Posted by 'Abd-al Latif

All hardships relieve us from the sins of our wrong doings until we walk on the earth with no sin in our account. The greatest part of hardship is tasting relief. Look forward to it, every cloud has a silver lining.

You'd think so, you really would but there is such a thing as a bottomless pit! Even Joseph was out of prison by now, and Job was a man granted a long life to start over and known blessings for his patience for the hereafter. I don't get any do overs and my previous steps weren't in sin but hardship and I have no guarantee that my deeds as I perceive them good won't be thrown back in my face for all the ill thoughts I have of God now . I can't breathe anymore from the hell of it. I don't want to get out of bed. I am only human, I am drowning and those around me relish seeing me drown for so long I am lost at sea just floating, no rafts no buoys nothing comes from me, except me alone with more storms as many storms as I can stand just short of death but not relieving me with death. I just watch the world go around me and I can't dock anywhere. I swim in vain to the left to the right, at night there is darkness and the morning a scorching sun. That is all there with sweeping tempest in between and those are my only options, that is my only life and the only one I have known and the only one I'll ever know!

format_quote Originally Posted by anonymous

You'd think so, you really would but there is such a thing as a bottomless pit! Even Joseph was out of prison by now, and Job was a man granted a long life to start over and known blessings for his patience for the hereafter. I don't get any do overs and my previous steps weren't in sin but hardship and I have no guarantee that my deeds as I perceive them good won't be thrown back in my face for all the ill thoughts I have of God now . I can't breathe anymore from the hell of it. I don't want to get out of bed. I am only human, I am drowning and those around me relish seeing me drown for so long I am lost at sea just floating, no rafts no buoys nothing comes from me, except me alone with more storms as many storms as I can stand just short of death but not relieving me with death. I just watch the world go around me and I can't dock anywhere. I swim in vain to the left to the right, at night there is darkness and the morning a scorching sun. That is all there with sweeping tempest in between and those are my only options, that is my only life and the only one I have known and the only one I'll ever know!

relish seeing you drown? Not everyone would relish seeing you drown.

not being able to dock anywhere is a good sign. You dont want to dock in this temporary dunya. A believer is a stranger in the world.

the only life you'll ever know? what if you lose your sanity, 1/100 people will become schizophrenic, what if you are that one then you wont even remember this life.

format_quote Originally Posted by mad_scientist

the only life you'll ever know? what if you lose your sanity, 1/100 people will become schizophrenic, what if you are that one then you wont even remember this life.

This is entirely meaningless, 'insanity' is only a burden to those who understand it, not those suffering it. Either way there is no sense arguing what ifs when all there exists is what is!

format_quote Originally Posted by anonymous

You'd think so, you really would but there is such a thing as a bottomless pit! Even Joseph was out of prison by now, and Job was a man granted a long life to start over and known blessings for his patience for the hereafter. I don't get any do overs and my previous steps weren't in sin but hardship and I have no guarantee that my deeds as I perceive them good won't be thrown back in my face for all the ill thoughts I have of God now . I can't breathe anymore from the hell of it. I don't want to get out of bed. I am only human, I am drowning and those around me relish seeing me drown for so long I am lost at sea just floating, no rafts no buoys nothing comes from me, except me alone with more storms as many storms as I can stand just short of death but not relieving me with death. I just watch the world go around me and I can't dock anywhere. I swim in vain to the left to the right, at night there is darkness and the morning a scorching sun. That is all there with sweeping tempest in between and those are my only options, that is my only life and the only one I have known and the only one I'll ever know!

Don't drown yourself in misery just because of a misunderstanding that Allah is all punishing; this is the view held in the old testament of the Bible. You're a Muslim, you should have hope a in God that the Jews and Christians do not have. Have hope that Allah will accept your good deeds and will not throw them back at you, just as you fear His punishment. People have done much worse than you and were forgiven; the sahaba (r) were once all idol worshippers but Allah made them the best of creation after His Prophets.

Your fear and hope in Allah should be like the two wings of a bird, if either one of the two is imbalanced the bird cannot fly. If you have excessive fear of Allah whether it's injustice or whatever, you will despair. If you have too much hope then you will become heedless. If these two states are balanced, you will achieve a balance in your faith in Islam and Allah.

It's not your circumstances that are imprisoning you in the vaults of misery, it's you're understanding that you are hopeless of pretty much everything in life, it's what's holding you back. No one wants to see you down but depression causes you to lose parts of yourself such as metabolism, courage and even a sense of humour, causing every little comment people make or an incident to be taken personally, as though the world is falling down on you.

Pull yourself out of this mindset and be in positive state of mind, otherwise your own perception of life will be your own downfall.

as much as life gets hard, all i know that it doesn't help to be impatient and get frustrated and get angry at your trial. this only makes matters worse.

format_quote Originally Posted by anonymous

Sometimes there is a defect in people which God wishes to expose. I believe I am one of those people. I really believe God wants me to die a Kaffir I never get any relief. I can't look back at any incident with triumph it is has been just decades of ****. If you can stand some more then here is more and more take more and take more until there is nothing left in me. I prefer death to this constant state of misery and humiliation and I think the chosen death is suicide so it can be set in stone, since there is a defect in me. One walks the path of people of paradise and those around them so think of them but they are meant for hell. My soul has had more burden on it than it can bear. Yes it has! I truly I can't bear any more. I think if I am just patient it will get better but it actually gets worse. I don't understand it. I go back and set things right and it makes no difference. Whether I make doa or not, whether I pray or not, whether I am patient or not whether I work hard or not. I am meant for one thing and that is the people who expend their life in servitude only to be with the people of hell. I have such insanely sick thoughts of God and I can't make them stop. Why does God hurt me so much. I can't take this hurt much longer

Alhumdulillah, Allah hasn't tested me like that!

i apologize for even trying to respond. this probably won't help at all...

i'm a big fan of the Mufti from Zimbabwe, Ismail ibn Musa Menk. he made a remark once on how if there is no turbulence in your life that THEN is the time to start worrying. Allah says in the Qur'an:

Indeed, We have made that which is on the earth adornment for it that We may test them [as to] which of them is best in deed.

Mufti Menk talks about how the Messengers of Allah were tested the most. from my little Menk perch, what i see is that Allah REALLY must LOVE you! if life is but a test, and you are tested SO MUCH, then Allah must know things about you that you don't.

i'm glad Allah doesn't test me like that, but i pray that you come to see this a bit different and realize that Allah must have great things in store for you.

check out this lecture by Mufti Menk, Examinations of Sabr...Pass or Fail:

http://www.nazirakoob.com/menk/Vol1.html#Part4