Relationship

format_quote Originally Posted by muslimah2010

I have not met the guy in person. I have however talked with him on skype video call and his family as well.

We talk online every day and seem to be getting more attached every day.. I don't know whether to think he loves me as he says like a sister or if he has other plans for me once I am there (if I were to go to his country). As well his country is very Islamic and I wonder if this would even be permissible there (for me to move in as a sister).

Alright, lets get this straight.

First of all in Islam we don't move in with men ever. That's completely haram. Unless he marries you first.

No sane guy will tell a girl to come to his country and live with him as his sister. Smell the coffee!

This guy sounds like a lot of trouble to me, don't let him outsmart you. He is clearly taking advantage of you. Where is your family?

format_quote Originally Posted by muslimah2010

My family lives in another province.

I have to settle this issue now before it does get out of hand.

We are your family in Islam. I'm happy you came here!

May Allah SWT protect you, distance you from all harm ameen.=)

Sister this is not allowed at all, he is a complete random stranger from the internet whom you know nothing about other than what he presents to you on skype. And he is asking you to travel to meet him?? he should not be doing this, and you shouldn't consider it because for all you know he could be a psycho rapist. It's not hard for a person to put on an act over the internet.

If you go and meet him it could lead to fornication and zina, perhaps this is what he has planned for when you meet? who knows his intentions? But not many men would call a girl over to their country and tell her to live with him, just for "friendship".

Seriously don't go over there because your relationship is haraam in the first place, you're like internet boyfriend and girlfriend at the moment, are you not? You should not travel to meet any man without your mehram also.

What is his purpose for meeting you and inviting you to stay in his house? what does he hope to acheive by this? You're a non mehram lady to him he should not be doing this, I am sure he would not like his own sister to go and meet some random guy off the internet and spend the night in his house would he??

It's obvious from the fact he is asking you to come and meet him without your mehram and stay the night in his house that he is not praticing Islam because a praticing person would not ask a non mehram women to meet him without her wali, and stay the night in his house without her guardian.

Seriously do you even know how many other girls he has done this with?? maybe he's skyping with another girl also and inviting her over to stay in his house for only Allah knows what purpose.

If you do go and continue down this path it could lead you to zina (fornication) so if I was you, stay well away!!! we are commanded to not go anywhere near something that could lead us to fornication and such friendships eventually lead to it as we can see, by him inviting you over to his country.

Shaytaan is playing the both of you with this idea of friendship, and shaytaan is slowly escalating the situation between the both of you , first it was just friends on the internet, now he's escalating it again to the point of asking you both to meet, then he will escalate it again to touching and eventually fornication.

This is how he works, he says "what's wrong with just being friends and chatting there's nothing wrong with that"

Then he whispers into your ear "This person seems so nice, I wonder how he/she is in person, I wonder if we'll ever meet one day"


Then he whispers "why dont you invite her to meet you just as a friend, nothing else will happen, you see her as your sister and you can control yourself, aren't you dying to know what she's like in person"

This is where you're both at. If you don't shut the door and walk away but instead choose to go and meet him, then the following steps are this


Shaytaan whispers when you meet each other " Wow she's very pretty in person"

"he seems ever so nice, he's treating me very good"

"I wonder if she likes me, she's so pretty, maybe I should make some moves to find out"

so he decides to make his move, maybe playfully touching you and seeing if you respond back.

and if you do then it will eventually lead to fornication with whispers like this

"it's not that big of a deal, we'll only do it once, and we're gonna marry each other anyway so there's no harm"

but after the fornication occurrs he runs off cos he's thinking, "pfft what kind of girl is this, who met a random guy from the internet and done fornication with him, she must be a hoe I cant marry her, she sacraficed her honour for me, a random guy from the internet who she doesn't even know properly, this is obviously not a good girl I need to get out of this situation"

Then you're left alone to pick up the pieces. I strongly advise you to not meet him because it will be forbiden according to Islam and it could lead you to losing your honour.

Here is a video of what you two are doing at the moment.






And this is what it will be like if you meet







And you really have to ask yourself what kind of a man would ask a non mehram girl off the internet to meet him without her wali and stay in his house? Does this not speak volumes about his character and what state he is currently in? This should be a red flag for you to get out of this haraam relationship before it escalates further as shaytaan is trying his best to lead you both to fornication.

And by the looks of it, his evil plan is working cos you're confused about what to do, your heart has become blinded with his whispers so you can not see the wise and correct thing to do. And this is what happens when we indulge in sin, we can no longer distinguish between right and wrong, we're left in darkness wondering blind.

But to the person on the outside looking in on the situation, he can see what is the right and wrong thing because he's not blinded by emotion/desire/feelings/whispers that have all been enticed by shaytaan inside of you.


In all honesty, it seems as if he is taking advantage of the fact that you're a new muslim woman who does not have knowledge, I have often heard stories of new reverts getting deceived and taken advantage of by guys in foreign countries.

Perhaps I should relate a story to you of one sister, she met a guy from the internet who lived in Greece but was originally from Pakistan, she was from the Uk. They originally started out as "friends" and just chatting on the internet, then the situation escalated and they met, then from their meeting it led to fornication, then they ended up getting married, of course the guy, he was very happy with this situation because it meant he got to stay in Europe and would eventually get permnant citizenship as he was on a visa before and would eventually have to leave and go back to his home country which happened to be a bad place live.

So anyway they got married, and she came back to the UK and he was living in Greece, and because he had this poor new sister wrapped around his finger, who did not have much knowledge, he told her in Islam the woman has to send money to the man to support him, so this sister was sending money from the UK to Greece to some guy she met off the internet, didn't know anything about him, and applying for permnant stay for him.

And when asked why her husband had no money she would say, "he just sits on the internet all day and we chat to each other on skype" so she came and asked for advice on what to do, she said she's running out of money and he's threatning to divorce her if she doesn't carry on sending money to him and she wanted to know if he can divorce her over this.

Do you not see how crazy this situation is? They started off how you and this guy are starting off, "just friends" and look where the situation lead her to, a useless guy who sits on the internet all day chatting to girls, and uses her feelings for him against her by forcing her to send money to him and threatening to leave her if she doesn't meet his demands.

Of course in the beginning he was all sweet like an innocent angel, she would never have thought he'd turn out to be like this because of the amazing act he put on for over skype. But soon his real intentions became apparrent. This sister actually thought he loved her, she was so blinded by emotion that she could not see how foolish she was being.

The things to note are, she was a new revert to Islam with no knowledge, she had no wali (male guardian) handling her affairs, protecting her from such a evil man.

Now lets look at you, you're also a new revert with not much knowledge, you have no wali (male guardian) to handle your affairs of marriage with the opposite gender do you?

As I said earlier many new reverts get taken advantage of, don't let yourself be one of them.

Now I suggest you end this before you find yourself in circumstances that are not good. There should be no doubt for you in the matter, this is haraam what you're both doing, so Allah is telling you that you shouldn't be in this relationship because he has made it haraam. So simple, just end it for Allah, and walk away.

The correct way for marriage is to all ways involve your wali (male guardian) don't handle these affairs by yourself because men have knowledge and wisdom when it comes to dealing with other men and they are able to see things that women can't.

Please watch the video's I posted in my first post of the thread for the islamic ruling of such situations if you don't believe me. Because if you watched them video's you would be left without doubt that what you're both doing is haraam.

Sister you need to understand. You seem to be really innocent. Some guys just act innocent saying that they are just like your brother and you are not doing anything wrong. Just stop talking with him. Maybe just tell him that you are quite busy nowadays or exams are on or anything. Then after sometime block him. Please cut contact with him. We are here to help you. You can talk to us here. Please inform us when you block him.