Relationship

y dont u make practicing friends of same sex. i hope u will find many here.

The terms you call each other are irrelevent, the friendship in and of itself is haraam. Muslim women and men are not allowed to take friends from the opposite gender, all though it is hard to avoid in certain circumstances.

You should end your friendship because firstly it's not halal and secondly, the longer you leave it, the harder it will get, imagine if you stay friends for a long period of time, then you get married and your husband doesn't like you having male friends, you'll have to end it anyway then and it will just be hard cos you've been friends for so long and have an emotional attachment to each other. So it's better if you just end it now while there's no emotional attachment to each other.

And when you do get married, your husband will probably feel sick at the idea of another man calling you "honey" "sweetie" "darling". It will cause you problems in the future if you have male friends because feelings will develope. Even if people never intend for feelings to develope they will eventually occur without you realising it, this is just the way humans are. So it's best to protect yourself from any potential heart ache and misery by sticking to the halal ways of friendship. You may find the below videos' of interest.

format_quote Originally Posted by ardianto

@ brother Salahudeen

There are two groups of the first generation of Muslims, they are Sahaba and Sahabiyat. Sahaba are male friends of Rasulullah (saw), Sahabiyat are female friends of Rasulullah (saw). It's means friendship between men and women basically is not haram. But of course, there is limit, rule, and etiquette in this friendship.

Well brother it depends on your definition of friendship? to me friendship means to meet a person and mix with them often, and talk with them often, are you claiming this is allowed in Islam for a boy and girl to do this without need or necessity? Here is the opinion of a scholar on free mixing between genders.

The meeting together, mixing, and intermingling of men and women in one place, the crowding of them together, and the revealing and exposure of women to men are prohibited by the Law of Islam (Shari'ah). These acts are prohibited because they are among the causes for fitnah (temptation or trial which implies evil consequences), the arousing of desires, and the committing of indecency and wrongdoing.

Among the many proofs of prohibition of the meeting and mixing of men and women in the Qur’aan and Sunnah are:

Verse No. 53 of Surat al-Ahzab, or the Confederates (Interpretation of the meaning); "...for anything ye want, ask them from before a screen: that makes for greater purity for your hearts and for theirs..."

In explaining this Verse, Ibn Kathir (May Allaah have mercy on him) said: "Meaning, as I forbade you to enter their rooms, I forbid you to look at them at all. If one wants to take something from a woman, one should do so without looking at her. If one wants to ask a woman for something, the same has to be done from behind a screen."

The Prophet (May peace and blessings be upon him) enforced separation of men and women even at Allaah’s most revered and preferred place, the mosque. This was accomplished via the separation of the women’s rows from the men’s; men were asked to stay in the mosque after completion of the obligatory prayer so that women will have enough time to leave the mosque; and, a special door was assigned to women. Evidence of the foregoing are:

Umm Salamah (May Allah be pleased with her) said that after Allah’s Messenger (May peace and blessings be upon him) said "as-Salamu ‘Alaykum wa Rahmatullah’ twice announcing the end of prayer, women would stand up and leave. He would stay for a while before leaving. Ibn Shihab said that he thought that the staying of the Prophet (May peace and blessings be upon him) was in order for the women to be able to leave before the men who wanted to depart." Narrated by al-Bukhari under No. 793.

Abu Dawood under No. 876 narrates the same hadith in Kitab al-Salaat under the title "Insiraaf an-Nisaa’ Qabl al-Rijaal min al-Salaah" (Departure of Women before Men after the Prayer). Ibn ‘Umar said that Allah’s Messenger (May peace and blessings be upon him) said: "We should leave this door (of the mosque) for women." Naafi’ said: "Ibn ‘Umar never again entered through that door until he died." Narrated by Abu Dawood under No. 484 in "Kitab as-Salah" under the Chapter entitled: "at-Tashdid fi Thalik".

Abu Hurayrah said that the Prophet (May peace and blessings be upon him) said: ""The best of the men’s rows is the first and the worst is the last, and the best of the women’s rows is the last and the worst in the first." Narrated by Muslim under No. 664.

This is the greatest evidence that the Law of Islam (Shari'ah) forbids meeting and mixing of men and women. The farther the men are from the women’s rows, the better, and vice versa.

If these procedures and precautions were prescribed and adhered to in a mosque, which is a pure place of worship where people are as far away as they ever are from the arousal of desire and temptation, then no doubt the same procedures need to be followed even more rigorously at other places.

Abu Usayd al-Ansari narrated that he heard Allah’s Messenger (May peace and blessings be upon him) say to the women on his way out of the mosque when he saw men and women mixing together on their way home:
‘Give way (i.e., walk to the sides) as it is not appropriate for you to walk in the middle the road.’ Thereafter, women would walk so close to the wall that their dresses would get caught on it. Narrated by Abu Dawood in "Kitab al-Adab min Sunanihi, Chapter: Mashyu an-Nisa Ma’ ar-Rijal fi at-Tariq."We know that the intermingling, mixing and crowding together of men and women is part of today’s unavoidable yet regrettable affliction in most places, such as markets, hospitals, colleges, etc., but:

· We will not willfully choose or accept mixing and crowding, particularly in religious classes and council meetings in Islamic Centers.

· We take precautions to avoid meeting and mixing of men and women as much as possible while at the same time achieving desired goals and objectives. This result can be achieved by designating separate places assigned for men and women, using different doors for each, utilizing modern means of communication such as microphones, video recorders etc., and expediting efforts to have enough female teachers to teach women, etc.

· We show fear of Allaah as much as we can by not looking at members of the opposite sex and by applying self-restraint.

http://www.islam-qa.com/en/ref/1200/

format_quote Originally Posted by ardianto

Sahaba are male friends of Rasulullah (saw), Sahabiyat are female friends of Rasulullah (saw).

To clarify, the definition of a sahaabi (plural sahaabah) is "a person who had the privilege of meeting the Prophet and died believing in him".

Source: Usool al-Hadeeth, by Dr Abu Ameenah Bilal Phillips.

The companions of the Prophet are the most famous sahaabah (may Allah be pleased with them). A sahaabi is not, by definition, a friend of the Prophet , although of course, some of the men amongst them did happen to be.

format_quote Originally Posted by Insaanah

To clarify, the definition of a sahaabi (plural sahaabah) is "a person who had the privilege of meeting the Prophet and died believing in him".

Source: Usool al-Hadeeth, by Dr Abu Ameenah Bilal Phillips.

The companions of the Prophet are the most famous sahaabah (may Allah be pleased with them). A sahaabi is not, by definition, a friend of the Prophet , although of course, some of them did happen to be.

Sister insaanah, just to clarify, are you saying the prophet (saw) had female friends who happened to be sahabiyaat? Or you mean just the male companions sometimes happened to be friends?

format_quote Originally Posted by Salahudeen

Sister insaanah, just to clarify, are you saying the prophet (saw) had female friends who happened to be sahabiyaat?

No. I meant that being a sahaabi or sahaabiah does not imply friendship with the Prophet

format_quote Originally Posted by Salahudeen

Or you mean just the male companions sometimes happened to be friends?

Yes, only the males, I meant. i.e some of the male sahaabah were friends of the Prophet . Sorry if I wasn't clear. I've edited my original post to reflect that.

Jazaakallah khayr for pointing that out.

format_quote Originally Posted by ardianto

If I have a female friend, it's means I make a friendship with her. There is no prohibition for it. But is a Muslim male allowed to meet a woman and talks with her to often without need and necessity ?. As I said before, there is limit, rule and etiquette in friendship.

Bro, I corrected your statement (Muslim women and men are not allowed to take friends from the opposite gender) because there is no prohibition to take opposite gender as friends. Rasulullah (saw) had many female friends that called Sahabiyat. But Muslims are not allowed to break the limit, rule, and etiquette in this friendship.


All Ulama agree, free mixing is haram. But Ulama not in single opinion about which mixing that free mixing, which mixing that not free mixing. In example, in a wedding party in a big hall, women are sitting in the left side, men are sitting in the right side, and there is large space between them. Some Ulama say, it's free mixing, but other Ulama say it's mixing but not free mixing.

Interesting, wouldn't your friendship with her be classed as mixing with the opposite gender unnecessarily? And also aren't we commanded to lower our gazes from looking at the opposite gender so how are we gonna be friends with them when we're not supposed to look at them :s

format_quote Originally Posted by ardianto

Excuse me bro. But your post heard like you accuse me break the limit, rule, and etiquette in relationship with opposite gender.

lost in translation

format_quote Originally Posted by muslimah2010

I need some help....

Being a new muslim I have made some new muslim friends. There is one friend in particular who is the opposite sex. When we talk to one another we use names for eachother such as honey, sweetie, darling and so on.... Would this be considered haram??

What is haram depends quite a bit upon circumstances. As a general rule, it is recommended that men and women do not mix freely with each other. One should avoid that as much as possible to save one's own self from falling into the sin that follows such intermixing of the sexes..... fornication and adultery.

I do not know what your circumstances are, nor do I know which country you live in. If you are working in America for example, it is next to impossible avoiding interaction with the opposite sex. America is not a Muslim country and things are not catered to or tailored for the safety and welfare of Muslim women. So I can understand the difficulty you might be encountering if such is your situation.

But regardless of where you live, you can definitely make an attempt to reduce your interaction with the opposite gender. There is really no need to engage in frivolities. Remember that in Islam, a Muslim woman must guard her honor and self-respect. Learn modesty, my dear sister.

You say that your male friend is also Muslim. Well, he doesn't seem to know much of his religion if he calls you honey, sweetie or darling. It is better for you not to have such a man for a friend.

Choose your friends wisely.

format_quote Originally Posted by muslimah2010

Thank you all for your replies.

Here is an update: He now tells me he loves me. Maybe I need to end this...
It may also be worth mentioning that he sees us as a real brother and sister. Is this even possible in Islam?

Sister this will most likely happen with any man you befriend, this is why the sheikhs' in the video's that I posted said free mixing between genders shouldn't be done without necessity. I think you should end it because his feelings for you will continue to develope. By the sounds of it he's getting pretty emotionally involved which means he's going to have a fit when you break away but the sooner you do it the better, like I said, when you get married your husband if he's religious will not like the idea of another non mehram man being friends with his wife and chatting/mixing with her without reason.

Would you be ok with your husband having female friends that he chats with often and mixes with, and they tell him they love him? and they call him sweetie and hunni? I know at the moment its irrelevant cos you're not married but think about the future when you are, and if you're husband had a female friend who he was pretty tight with cos they'd been friends for years. Would you be happy with it? another woman calling your man up like his best friend and chatting with him while you're standing there

I don't know maybe men are different to women in this regard but I don't think many men will be happy about their wife being friends with non mehram guys and socialising/mixing with them when there's no need to.

Do you like this man in anyway more than a friend?

format_quote Originally Posted by ardianto

Not every person have a braveness to confess if he/she is wrong. Confession is something that embarassing. Embarassing for me too, but, it's OK.

I made a great mistake because I didn't notice carefully on sister Muslimah2010 first post. I thought she's talking about group of Muslims which one of them is male and other are females, and they called honey, sweetie, darling to each other. But after she made her next post, I just realized if actually she 's talking about relationship between her and a non-mahram male which they call honey, sweetie to each other.

@ sister Muslimah2010 : Ignore my statements and follow advices from brother Salahudeen. He is right.

@ brother Salahudeen : I am sorry, and thank for this great lesson, Jazak Allah Khayr.

There's no embarressment in saying you misunderstood things akhi, it is a very admirable and praiseworthy trait that you possesse. The ability to say you were wrong is something that many people don't have, so you're very unique and blessed in this regard. Often our ego's come in the way of us admitting our own mistakes and shortcomings, even I am guilty of this at times, part of being human I guess. I'm full of admiration for you right now and make du'a Allah gives me this attribute also.