Assalamu alaikum!
Sorry, this is going to be a bit long...
I really want to revert to Islam, insha Allah. But, there are a few things that are keeping me from actually doing it. Not religious things, I mean, I don't doubt at all that Islam is the perfect religion, that I absolutely want to be Muslim. But if anyone could possibly give me some advice, I would really appreciate it. Here goes...
Alhamdulillah, I one of my best friends since I was 12 is Muslim. She was for the most part a good example, and once I started to learn more about religion (I was raised an atheist), I actually had a good opinion of Islam. I began to learn about it, and it felt so good and made so much sense, alhamdulillah I decided last year that I wanted to be Muslim. Eventually, I could make myself tell my friend my "secret". She was happy, of course, at least she sounded happy.
We went to different schools this year for the first time, and she's working, and she's very busy and I almost never get to see her. When I told her that I want to revert, at the end of summer break, I expected she would be really eager to make it happen. I have dreamed so many times of taking my shahada, of being in the mosque with all my Muslim sisters -for the first time, people who I didn't have to keep such a big part of me hidden from.
But, well, I'm still not a Muslim. We haven't really talked about it since then, except the many times I have nagged her about taking me to the mosque, on facebook because I never see her. She's always "too busy", and her replies, even when I ask her a serious question or something, are short and unconcerned. I wait for almost a month before asking again; I know she isn't free every Friday, and I hope when she is she'll invite me like she said she would, but she doesn't. And I end up nagging again. One week I heard that a different friend was going to the mosque with her, just because she wanted to go to her house that weekend. I have to say, that made me mad. She wasn't the one who wanted to be a Muslim, who had been waiting and nagging for several months.
So I told myself, I would definitely happen over winter break. She has 3 whole weeks off. But it hasn't and that's where I am now. It feels like she wants nothing to do with me. But even if she stopped liking me as a friend, it seems like she'd still try to get me to the mosque, as a Muslim.
I'm 16, and I can't drive myself there. At first, I didn't even think about going without my friend. When I imagined it all, she and her mom were always standing next to me as I took the shahada, and they were the ones who dropped me back off with encouragement before I broke the news to my mom. Now, I don't care so much about that. I doubt it's going to happen. But then the problem is that I can't drive, and they aren't going to be taking me, and neither is my (staunchly atheist) mom who still doesn't know. I could take the bus, but mom would want to know where I was going. I of course don't want to lie to her, and she'd find out even if I did when I came home and told her I was Muslim.
I could just tell her. I could tell my mom that I want to be Muslim, let it sink in, and ask if I can go to the mosque. She'd say yes, I'm pretty sure. Alhamdulillah, I really don't think she's one of those people who would try to prevent me from being Muslim, like some of the reverts I've read stories of. But I think it would work so much easier if I just did it first, took my shahada at the mosque, officially became Muslim before telling her. That way she couldn't try to talk me out of it, or keep worrying as if she could prevent it. It would be much easier and quicker for everyone.
I'm not exactly sure about how to take the shahada if not at the mosque (I've seen websites that say you can do it online and stuff, or by yourself), and maybe this is dumb, but I really want to do it at the mosque. I've been looking forward to that so much for almost a year, even before I was positive that I wanted to revert. It just doesn't seem right to do it in my house, at the computer. It wouldn't feel official, I don't think I'd feel like I'd really done it.
So, that's it. Alhamdulillah, these problems are very minor compared to those that many reverts face. And rather than turning me away from Islam, they are making me want to be really welcoming and helpful and friendly to any new reverts that I may meet, insha Allah! But if you have any advice, I would really like to hear it. Jazak Allah Khayr.
tomo, why don't you become Muslim online and then when you get the opportunity to go to the mosque, you can do that?
It's better that way because if someone dies before then, atleast they had said the shahada before they died.
In regard to the situation that you're in, i think you should be patient with your friend. You don't really know why she's acting like this, and the only way to really find out is if you ever get to meet up with her. This is how we're supposed to be as Muslims.
Also, it might better to say the shahada now so that even if your mum doesn't let you go to the mosque, atleast you've still said it. I know it's odd for me to say that, but sometimes things don't turn out how we expected in life.
Like Allah tells us; It might be that you like a thing which is bad for you, and you dislike a thing which is good for you, Allah knows and you do not know. (Quran 2:216)
Anyway give us some feedback and tell us what u think
If you have faith then you are a muslim - don't think its the end of the world if a mosque full of muslims don't get to witness your shahada. Never become dependent on others around you, things change and people can change. Just remember in this world its only you and God Al-Mighty and that's more than enough.
It might be a bit sad to not get a warm welcome into a new faith, but insha'Allah you'll meet more muslims down the line when you get older. There's plenty of people like you who don't know any muslims and they say their shahada on here. Plenty of sisters here will be more than willing to welcome you and get to know you.
He it is Who sends blessings on you, as do His angels, that He may bring you out from the depths of Darkness into Light: and He is Full of Mercy to the Believers. [Quran {33:43}] www.QuranicAudio.com www.Quran.com
Hope you enjoy yourself here and find it beneficial towards yourself inshaa'Allaah..
Secondly, if you believe in Allaah SWT and all his prophets unto his final messenger (PBUT), and the message they brought, then between you and Allaah SWT you are already considered a muslim, masha'Allaah!
In regards to your friend, I think you should be patient with her, and try approach her another time and explain your situation and if possible explain to her how you feel regarding you and her, if theres is no positive response, then I would leave it at that and remain patient and make du'aa. However, i'll stop here as i feel others can advice you better inshaa'Allaah
"Allah! La ilaha illa Huwa (none has the right to be worshipped but He), Al-Hayyul-Qayyum (the Ever Living, the One Who sustains and protects all that exists).".."[Al Qur'aan 3:2]
Sister you can do shahada yourself. There is not really a need for a mosque. That's the beauty of Islam : It's between you and Allah, no need for any mediator.
Shahada is to say : "I bear witness that there is no god (no deity worthy of worship) but Allah, and I bear witness that Muhammad is the messenger, prophet and slave of Allah". You have to understand shahada, and then if you believe it and you are convinced by its meaning, you have to say it in arabic like this :
"Ash-hadu alla Ilaha Illa Allah, wa Ash-hadu anna Muhammadan 'Abduhu wa Rasuluh".
And then you are muslim.
You can do it yourself whenever you are ready.
Nothing difficult or complicated in it. But the most important thing is to be convinced by islam and ready to enter in it and that you feel it's the right religion.
If you want to learn shahada, I suggest that you watch videos of converts taking shahda and just do like them, it's so easy.
May Allah help you, guide you and enlighten you heart with faith and knowledge.
Beautiful responses all round,
I'd also like to add that if you say Shahadah by yourself while standing, sitting or prostrating,
Allah is the Best Witness, and His angels,
It will also give you a much more powerful awareness of Him and a personal relationship with Him where you feel you can call on Him wherever you are and that He hears,
If saying it at the masjid is feeling so immense, maybe it is for a reason that Allah wants to purify your intention,
Surah 93. Ad-Duha (The Morning Hours, Morning Bright!)
In the name of Allah, Most Gracious, Most Merciful.
*
1. By the Glorious Morning Light,
2. And by the Night when it is still,-
3. Thy Guardian-Lord hath not forsaken thee, nor is He displeased.
4. And verily the Hereafter will be better for thee than the present.
5. And soon will thy Guardian-Lord give thee (that wherewith) thou shalt be well-pleased.
6. Did He not find thee an orphan and give thee shelter (and care)?
7. And He found thee wandering, and He gave thee guidance.
8. And He found thee in need, and made thee independent.
9. Therefore, treat not the orphan with harshness,
10. Nor repulse the one who asks (unheard);
11. But the bounty of thy Lord - rehearse and proclaim!
Thank you so much everyone who replied I really appreciate it. And thanks for the videos. I guess I'll take the shahada by myself, insha'Allah.
And sorry aprender and islamica, I can't reply to your nice messages because I don't have 50 posts yet But thank you so much for the advice, if you see this!
Also I guess I sounded a little dramatic, haha, sorry about that.
Do you have any books sis?First thing is obviously a translation of the Quran,Then I'd look for the life story of the prophet pbuh,There's a good one I read called "abridged biography of prophet Muhammad (pbuh)" published by darussalam,You may find it on eBay or amazon in your country,Or ask on this thread, Allah may send it to you through one of the sisters,Peace
Ash hadu an laa ilaaha ill Allah, Muhammadun Rasool Allah -
I believe there is no god but Allah and Muhammad is the Messenger of Allah (peace be upon him.)
You can ask us for any advice.. and we will try to help inshaa' Allah.
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But thank you so much for the advice, if you see this!
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