I am writing this post to specifically seek help. This is my first post so please be patient with me. I am just gona let it out. I believe I have gay desire :s Firstly let me tell you my background
At my local masjid I met this brother we instantly connected we were 14 and never felt so close to anyone before eventually growing up I realized I had desires for him. I knew it was wrong but I wanted to be with him all the time. We would call each other, text, go to town and attend islamic event and told each are secretes. I never told him [ i am attracted to him ] out of fear of rejection. We would touch each other as a joke like touching thighs but that was it. Plus I was going through puberty.
We are both practicing Muslim. AlhamdaulilAllah my desire calmed down and I am no longer attracted to him. During university life my desire reignited for females which I was so happy, however I would slightly look at if he was 'good looking'. Since leaving uni my ; I met this guy online through a chatroom a gay chatroom- I randomly do this when my iman is weak. disgusting as it may sound my intention was to satisfy myself by sharing pictures and receiving pictures . However this guy was different to those I usually share pictures .We have been constantly talking since Friday night last week. I can't describe the feelings I have for him but I just want him. we have shared pictures and literally share everything we do every min. I understand its haram but I just can't delete him from my life. Please advise I am now 21 and I can't be going through this again. It hurts because I know I am displeasing my lord.
I have had enough of these desires. I feel like I am cursed.
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may Allah help u bro. Try to concentrate more on ur deen , never miss any salat , offer nafal / extra salat , recite Quran regularly , keep asking Allah to help u .
Besides prayers , u may also take some medical advices / help . Did u talk to psychiatrist about this problem ?
Christ will never be proud to reject to be a slave to God .....holy Quran, chapter Women , 4: 172
Don't chat him, don't share pix.. and take a holiday possibly somewhere for two days to reflect on your life and where you want to go with it.
This is wrong, the devil is making it attractive, dark and seductive for you but strip it of that erotic air that charges you with desire for all that's evil and see it for what it is. Please do that.. spend your night in prayer to Allah swt to rid you of those feelings and know Allah sends his help and especially those who take the first step to help themselves..
You must put a stop to those thoughts whenever they assault you and if you ever give in to them know that shaitaan has won over you and that you're caving in to base desires over higher needs busy yourself with something good..
the touching of thighs to gay chat room to sharing pictures.
It could have happened to anyone of us here, that's why Allah says :
"O you who believe! do not follow the footsteps of the Shaitan, and whoever follows the footsteps of the Shaitan, then surely he bids the doing of indecency and evil; and were it not for Allah's grace upon you and His mercy, not one of you would have ever been pure, but Allah purifies whom He pleases; and Allah is Hearing, Knowing."
cut the chat rooms, cut the images/videos, gay thoughts will disappear with time and insha'Allah you will be a strong mu'min.
There was once upon a time, a guy who viewed multitude images of naked women until his brain became desensitized, he seeked for something different and somehow began watching nude images of men, it provided him with a different kind of high, even though at the outset it felt a bit disgusting. He did this for so long until he believed he was gay, years have gone by and he decided to stop looking at nude images of men, his brain recovered well and noticed that he, after all, was not gay. The novelty of these images had rewired his brain, a hardwiring if you like, and thus, his brain was functioning under this rewiring.
Think of pavlovs dog, whistle and then biscuit, whistle and then biscuit until whenever the dog heard the whistle he remembered the biscuit.
Images and (nice sensations and orgasms), images and (nice sensations and orgasms), images and (nice sensations and orgasms) until whenever you see the image or anything remotely similar, or reminds you of the image that induced (nice sensations and orgasms) you will be hooked to, if this is images of men, you will be hooked to that and your brain might fool you to think you are gay because of "brain plasticity".
Fear not though, Allah has given us the power to condition the way we think.
Your feelings are not necessarily the problem. Throughout your life, you will experience unusual feelings. As long as you do not act upon them, you will be fine. There is not much you can do except not to act upon your urges. So the main issue here is your willpower. Try to make an effort not to act upon feelings that lead to committing a sin. I know it is not easy, but give it a go.
I was looking at myself talking to myself and I realized this conversation...I was having with myself looking at myself was a conversation with myself that I needed to have with myself.
How is this different from any heterso Muslim man chatting up with a woman?
Just stop talking about "romantic" stuff. If a Muslim man can delete a woman he likes from his life he is not married to her, I do not understand how you cannot delete this guy.
Help me to escape from this existence
I yearn for an answer... can you help me?
I'm drowning in a sea of abused visions and shattered dreams
In somnolent illusion... I'm paralyzed
How is this different from any heterso Muslim man chatting up with a woman?
Just stop talking about "romantic" stuff. If a Muslim man can delete a woman he likes from his life he is not married to her, I do not understand how you cannot delete this guy.
An excellent point.
I was looking at myself talking to myself and I realized this conversation...I was having with myself looking at myself was a conversation with myself that I needed to have with myself.
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sends his help and especially those who take the first step to help themselves..
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