Assalamu Alaykum, I have been highly insecure about myself for the last couple of years. I keep on getting evil thoughts that I am not worth it, that I am different and no one likes me etc. I have thought about suicide and whatnot. I have tried making ruqyah on myself, done pretty much everything. I seriously need help
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I used to be where you are right now, sure..different emotions(never had thoughts of suicide though), different situation. I realized I needed to forget and not care what others think of me, I realized I needed to take care of myself, meaning health, prayer, school...etc.
When you have thoughts of suicide you need to tell someone like a friend, parent, hospital..etc.
Having someone to talk to (like a therapist) is not a weakness. Prayer is good too, it is medicine for the soul.
Talk to your family. Then, if you need to, talk to a doctor or counselor or knowledgeable Muslim. Suicide is not an option for muslims. the one who commits suicide will be in hell forever. Our life was given to us by Allah and only Allah has the right to take it. We have no right to hurt our body because it is a trust of Allah with us.
Finally, turn to zikr (remembrance of Allah) and reciting the Quran (and / or listening to its recitation) as much as you can. Because it is with the zikr of Allah that brings peace of mind.
Know that Allah is on your side and wants what is best for you. He loves you and cares for you. And who is better to depend on than Allah? Who is a better friend than Allah. Truly no one. When you allow yourself to get close to Allah, you'll feel the greatest peace, such tht can be brought by nothing and no one else. No matter what your external situation is.
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