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Is marriage forbidden if you dont show/share everything with partner

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    anonymous's Avatar Restricted Member
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    Is marriage forbidden if you dont show/share everything with partner

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    If I am not willing to let my wife see certain belongings of mine , eg laptop,phone,books other personal items locked in cupboard etc,parents items etc then is marriage forbidden .

    Show me reference from the quran or the life of Prophet Muhammad PBUH and his immediate companions to support your opinion that each and everything has to be disclosed and provided to the wife
    Is marriage forbidden if you dont show/share everything with partner

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    Re: Is marriage forbidden if you dont show/share everything with partner

    No, it is not forbidden.

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    Re: Is marriage forbidden if you dont show/share everything with partner

    You don't have to be worry your wife will see your laptop, book, etc. Because with mindset like this, then there's no woman who will marry you.

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    Re: Is marriage forbidden if you dont show/share everything with partner

    No, it is not forbidden
    can you prove it from somewhere ?
    Is marriage forbidden if you dont show/share everything with partner

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    Re: Is marriage forbidden if you dont show/share everything with partner

    If the tables were turned would you appreciate your wife withholding information from you?

    Imagine your wife having a phone, computer, tablet etc which she hides from you.

    I think the question you should ask yourself is why are you trying to hide this particular activity from a potential spouse?

    It may cause issues in the quality of the marriage - how can your wife attain peace if you lock yourself in a room for example, and do whatever you want to do and she's not allowed to know what you do etc - How can a relationship blossom if one party fails to disclose?

    The foundation for ANY relationship is based on trust, honesty, disclosing our faults to each other, communication & understanding. Whatever it is your hiding will be revealed on the Day of Judgement – good or bad (Allah swa knows best) so surely one who holds the truth in their heart will have no issues ADMITTING to themselves first and foremost and then the individuals who have a right to know etc.

    You should fear Allah swa and what Allah swa may think of you not your wife, mother, father etc. Even though everyone has a place in society with their own responsibilities and rights our first fear should be fear of Allah swa.
    | Likes sister herb, Zafran liked this post
    Is marriage forbidden if you dont show/share everything with partner

    Pain and hardships allow you to grow spiritually Alhamdulilah so smile when a so called calamity befalls upon you.
    Alhamdulilah Allah swt is the greatest.

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    Re: Is marriage forbidden if you dont show/share everything with partner

    f the tables were turned would you appreciate your wife withholding information from you?Imagine your wife having a phone, computer, tablet etc which she hides from you.I think the question you should ask yourself is why are you trying to hide this particular activity from a potential spouse? It may cause issues in the quality of the marriage - how can your wife attain peace if you lock yourself in a room for example, and do whatever you want to do and she's not allowed to know what you do etc - How can a relationship blossom if one party fails to disclose? The foundation for ANY relationship is based on trust, honesty, disclosing our faults to each other, communication & understanding. Whatever it is your hiding will be revealed on the Day of Judgement – good or bad (Allah swa knows best) so surely one who holds the truth in their heart will have no issues ADMITTING to themselves first and foremost and then the individuals who have a right to know etc. You should fear Allah swa and what Allah swa may think of you not your wife, mother, father etc. Even though everyone has a place in society with their own responsibilities and rights our first fear should be fear of Allah swa.
    Where is the reference from quran and hadith , that nothing must be hidden from partner ? Give me the reference
    Is marriage forbidden if you dont show/share everything with partner

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    Re: Is marriage forbidden if you dont show/share everything with partner

    Without any reference , you seem to be giving bogus fatwas that a person whether man or woman should not have some privacy sometimes . You have NO right to do that. if you have nothing from Quran/Hadith to back your claims , then just leave
    Is marriage forbidden if you dont show/share everything with partner

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    Re: Is marriage forbidden if you dont show/share everything with partner

    Assalaamu alaikum Anonymous,

    (smile) If you are looking for an official fatwa, then this is not the appropriate Forum for this. We are not scholars.

    But I think your question is a little bit curious. Have you seen any evidence that the Prophet (SAWS) hid things from his wives (May Allah be Pleased with them)? There are multiple examples of his sharing all sorts of things with his wives, from revelation and his faith, his fears for his sanity, his love, his food, his wash water… Have you seen anything that would suggest that he hid anything? Because I have not. If you have, I would be curious to see your evidence.

    I must say, I am also wondering what on earth you would want to hide from her? Is it something you are ashamed of? If so… then I would suggest that it would be best if you not engage in such an activity. It sounds unlikely to be good for you. Or do you have what you feel is a legitimate reason for hiding something? We could perhaps discuss this point, if we knew what it was. I can't think of a good reason off the top of my head, but perhaps you feel you have a good reason? We could offer our input on this point, if you like, as I think that this would fall under the competence of this Forum.

    (smile) May Allah, the Hidden and the Manifest, Brighten your life.
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    Our finitude is our distance from Him. His infinitude is His closeness to us. Abdal-Hakim Murad @Contentions



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    Re: Is marriage forbidden if you dont show/share everything with partner

    It's not forbidden, but what you are hiding probably is.

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    Re: Is marriage forbidden if you dont show/share everything with partner

    format_quote Originally Posted by anonymous View Post
    Without any reference , you seem to be giving bogus fatwas that a person whether man or woman should not have some privacy sometimes . You have NO right to do that. if you have nothing from Quran/Hadith to back your claims , then just leave
    Chill out. We're all friends here!
    | Likes BeTheChange liked this post

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    Re: Is marriage forbidden if you dont show/share everything with partner

    format_quote Originally Posted by anonymous View Post
    Without any reference , you seem to be giving bogus fatwas that a person whether man or woman should not have some privacy sometimes . You have NO right to do that. if you have nothing from Quran/Hadith to back your claims , then just leave
    Am sorry if my post offended you – i never claimed for a second i was quoting or referencing to our deen. I was merely sharing my opinion and perspective. Am sorry if i have troubled you – i would just like to add there is no need to get defensive i was trying to encourage you to think how you would feel if a close person i.e. your wife treated you in this manner.

    Would you view this as appropriate behaviour? Is it something you would over-look or would you demand to know what it is she wishes to keep away from you?

    I hope you find peace within yourself Ameen.
    Is marriage forbidden if you dont show/share everything with partner

    Pain and hardships allow you to grow spiritually Alhamdulilah so smile when a so called calamity befalls upon you.
    Alhamdulilah Allah swt is the greatest.

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    Alpha Dude's Avatar Full Member
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    Re: Is marriage forbidden if you dont show/share everything with partner

    This thread is foolish and so are the previous threads by this same anonymous user asking similar questions (I'd look for and give links to them but can't be bothered).

    The general gist of the threads are 'is it forbidden to marry if xyz' and when someone replies based on sheer common sense and the fact that there would be nothing EXPLICIT in the quran and sunnah referencing the absurd hypothetical situations brought up, the OP rejects the advice.

    Honestly, grow up man.
    | Likes Abdullahh, Zafran, ardianto liked this post

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    Re: Is marriage forbidden if you dont show/share everything with partner

    Would you view this as appropriate behaviour?

    Like i said earlier and i repeat for the last time , the question is about what Allah's ruling is and not about how some XYZ feels


    For eg : If Women dont like the ruling for man to have more than 1 wife , they are not allowed to dispute it as Allah says in the quran:


    It is not fitting for believing man or woman when a matter has been decided by Allah and His Messenger to exercise their choice and if anyone disobeys Allah and His Apostle he is indeed strayed on a manifestly wrong path.” (33:36)

    Is marriage forbidden if you dont show/share everything with partner

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    Re: Is marriage forbidden if you dont show/share everything with partner

    Salaam I think it's time to close this thread mods
    | Likes ardianto liked this post
    Is marriage forbidden if you dont show/share everything with partner

    Do you think the pious don't sin?

    They merely:
    Veiled themselves and didn't flaunt it
    Sought forgiveness and didn't persist
    Took ownership of it and don't justify it
    And acted with excellence after they had erred - Ibn al-Qayyim

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    Re: Is marriage forbidden if you dont show/share everything with partner

    Huft.... from quran it is she is your clothes and u are her clothes....
    So that mean they can see each other private parts correct????
    Now if hubby can see wife body and viseverca so also should can see eachother laptop and mobile.
    Thus she can see it. Marriage is to share ur feeling, life house food care.. if u dont share so no problem. Next week she will ask divorce from u then....
    Is marriage forbidden if you dont show/share everything with partner

    قال النبي محمد صلى الله عليه وآله وسلم:*الـحياءُ شُعْبَةٌ مِنَ الاِيِمَانِ*
    و قال ايضا:*الحياء لاياتى الا بخير
    و قال ايضا:*اذا لم تستحي،فاصنع ما شئت*

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    Re: Is marriage forbidden if you dont show/share everything with partner

    Assalaamu alaikum,

    Mmm… I think this thread has some bearing on this conversation, and could be useful for future readers.

    Question : Where is the evidence?

    On another point: (smile) Thank you Fasih. But no, my knowledge is not anywhere near what I consider as a level for a scholar. (sigh) Unfortunately, there are too many people out there with minor pieces of paper who feel themselves to be scholars and issue fatawa with little thought, and based on little knowledge of both the thing they are discussing and the sources of Islamic knowledge. And this lowers the bar.

    Furthermore, I find that people mistake false self-confidence for knowledge. (smile) Personally, I look for humility as a pointer towards true expertise. Because no matter what the field of knowledge, anyone who studies it in any depth realizes just how much there is left to be known. And, in fact, no one can know everything, or even anywhere near everything, even in a narrow field of knowledge. So, even the most knowledgeable can make mistakes. It's just they are more likely to be aware of this fact than one with little knowledge. And they are the most likely to inform you of this possibility, and they are also the most likely to be happy if you (respectfully) question their conclusions, or offer considered thought. (smile) Indeed, they are likely to thank you, and be genuinely pleased that you seek to know. And if you can add to their store of knowledge or understanding, they are happy.

    But if the person tries to humiliate you, or make you feel stupid, or damage your character or reputation… these are signs of incompetence.

    I remember reading a discussion about the question of a person of (Islamic) knowledge who has bad manners. And a famous scholar (whose name I cannot recall- I've been trying to find this quote, but I haven't been able to as yet) replied: a person who has bad manners cannot be learned. And there is a great deal of wisdom in this view. And so, when I am evaluating a source of Islamic knowledge, I look at this person's behaviour.

    May Allah, the only One Who truly Knows, Guide us.
    | Likes فصيح الياسين liked this post
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    Re: Is marriage forbidden if you dont show/share everything with partner

    format_quote Originally Posted by MuslimInshallah View Post
    Assalaamu alaikum,

    Mmm… I think this thread has some bearing on this conversation, and could be useful for future readers.

    Question : Where is the evidence?
    The trigger that made me create the quoted thread above is indeed this thread. The OP know that no one can give him reference that he ask.


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