I am Alhamdulilah 26 years financially well, and educated person. I am Master in the field of Study and my family owns multiple businesses.
My problems:
I am too hasty in taking decisions. I want something to finish as quickly as started without thinking about the consequences of my hasty decision making
I am always confused. I cannot take my decisions and have to overthink about the issues, which has caused me great grief and distress in my life.
In school, I was a topper, and achieved alot. However, I have little or no confidence left now, and I think everybody just hates me or will make fun of me. This has caused me not to make new friends (I also think that I cannot make new friends)
Thirdly, my family is looking for a girl for marriage. I have been rejected, and I have rejected some as well. I want my parents to take the decision rather than me. However, I want my family to get over the thinks quickly so that I can focus on new things in life. This seems a distant reality now. I dont think so that I will ever be able to get married because of my attitude and personality (very weak personality and no one seems to like me)
I have never had bad habit, but I have been continuously in depression, and I believe that Allah is against me. This leads me to think alot against Islam and Allah. However, nothing improves no matter how much I pray or ask Allah and Prophet Mohammad PBUH for help.
Sometime back I started praying five prayer in congregation thinking that Allah will have mercy on me, but things did not change, and after one month I stopped praying even Jumma prayers. Nothing is improving in my life. It seems that the only thing God has bestowed me is a good family and financial background.
However, I feel that even if my parents are going to ask some girl for proposal I am going to get rejected because of poor personality, and skills. I remember the times in schools, and college when I could not utter a word in front of girls, Now I feel like my personality has gotten worse.
I also have a very few close friends, who are as busy in business as I am. I am waiting for a miracle to happen in my life, but Allah (SWT) is keeping me down and out. He does not guide me, doesnot give me any sign, or doesnot improve anything for despite of my prayers. I pray with tears, and true heart but God rejects me everywhere. I tried to invest my money away from my family business so that I can achieve anything on my own, and have something to boast about but failed miserable. In fact, God does not help me in anything. I have a poor poor personality, no achievment despite good educational background, I have no where to go. I feel trapped. But the God is not helping me. May he wants me to suffer. I also have suicidal thoughts sometime, but no one seems to understand me help me or befriend with me.
Is there any way to end this ? Please dont tell me that God doesnot burden you with more than you can handle, because it very easy for you to say that, and I have been burdened more than I should be. It is easy for Sheikhs and Maulana's to talk about depression, and how Allah helps everyone, however it is very easy for them to say thing because they havent been through any of this.
You're 26 years old, and still wanting to reach maturity of intellect - understandable - people who have had everything handed to them on a plate usually suffer this crisis...
...you have been born with a silver spoon in your mouth, as the saying goes. You've had a priveleged education and life so far - but because you've had it easy, you expect life to be easy - I got news for you kid.
You is in a world of hurt. You are waking up. But you have nowhere to go and nothing to look forward to - and you are spiritually blind as a bat - actually no, I think bats have a keener vision than you on these matters, no joke.
Bro I'm asking you a serious question - why do you enjoy your misery? Don't you find it pathetic? Don't you get angry at yourself and then tell your heart "Right that's it, i've had enough - i'm gonna do something about this" and then just get stronger - if even momentarily? Why did you not watch the video i posted on page one? And most of all - why are you such a selfish person? Why ME ME ME???
I could never respect a person like that. Could you? I hughly doubt it - so this is the reason you need to change - no one can respect you in this state - and thus you need to learn a little self respect my friend.
AH you know what bro? dont even bother to answer the questions - just leave this forum - you are not here for advice - you've not followed any advice we've given you - so STOP WASTING OUR TIME.
All the advice anyone can hope for in a situation such as yours is in this thread - but you've ignored it ALL... you clearly don't want help - guess what?
The rescue cars came and went a looooong time ago, the hovercrafts and boats too - and the helicopters are now leaving - so you go answer to Allah on the day of judgement about how usless an idiot you was and then burn in hell for eternity ok? Is that ok with you? goooood - I'll pop my head over the preoverbial barrier while I am in heaven and point to you and then ask you "how you feel now?" and then watch as the words are taken from you by an angel of hell as he drags you deeper into the pit - OK?
Good.
I wont wish you salaam - simply because you really don't want it.
Go wallow in your self absorbed pitiful self - you wanna be a loser. SO be a loser - please do not bother us anymore.
i could not watch the video because youtube is banned in Pakistan. True I have been handed everything in a spoon. This dunya and religion were given to me by my parent and didnt have to move a muscle. But everytime I try to do something I fail like I told you about business venture (stock investment went wrong). I lost money. I tried for marriage and proposals were rejected ( despite a wali who is a very religion person is blind and so spirtual that he can tell about just be hearing the name of persons with their mothers name) i do gym but the problem is in few months I get bored of everything and wants to do something new. I have worked in various businesses owned by my family and irrespective of success or failure I change every few months. You are right I have no self respect because I havent really achieved anything apart from academic success. I once prayed all my prayers and did qll sorts of duas and wazifas and yet I failed. I started hating this life. I have gone downjill since my a level in every aspect of my life. i am sure people hate me cause I am too dependent on others. I do not want to accept any responsibility now and want others to take my decisions so that I can blame them once I fail ( and I do not dissappoint myself in failing in easy battles) I believed that everything happened for the good and Allah had a master plan. but now seeing so much gone wrong, I lost hope. Sometimes I feel a slight subtle turn and collision with a tree while driving at 100 km/h can only bring me salvation. I cannot enjoy anything anymore even when I am laughing and watching a show some pain is always at the back of mind. It feels that unknown forces are pullong me with my hair towards opposite sides. No one can help me and I am stuck in the middle of deen and dunya and do not plan to go either direction. divine intervention does not come to sinners like me, but when I see around I see people who have done greater evil are rewarded more. I have lost it bro again. I do not have passion for anything anymore. The only time I feel sensible is when I smoke. I am aways from drinks or drugs, but I feel its a matter of time God Forbid. I also cannot imagine a life without my parents so I want to die before them. i am also so fed up of this corrupt world and my country tops in everything that is bad. There is no escape from it. I am experiencing hell in this world, it is now easy for me if Allah sends me to hell in the hereafter cause I have experienced it.
PS: Good flourising life in terms of financial strength does not mean that you have a bed of roses. Instead blacksheeps in families like mine go through the mental torture and hell in this world.
Last edited by smallkid; 06-09-2015 at 07:41 PM.
Reason: missed some points
To add to the excellent advice that Scmi and others have given you (don't give up on him bro Scmi, just take a break from this thread perhaps?), I honestly think that you should stop being so fatalistic or expectant of a miracle from Allah swt.
As for your question about looking more mature, you need to work on you body language and your confidence. At first, you can fake this, even if you don't necessarily feel it. Start looking people in the eye, stand up straight, square your shoulders, lift your head up and walk around with purpose, confidence, and even with attitude. Start believing in yourself, in your worth and in your potential to be a good and successful person. If you start believing in yourself, and acting others will start seeing that in you also.
It is no coincidence that those that believe that they have been dealt a bad card often underachieve, or take badly the slings and arrows of bad fortune that we all face in life. It's time to drag yourself away slowly from that negative state of mind that you currently wallow in, and your life will slowly improve. Either way, I wish you well bro.
I can try but this brother is disingenuous in his attempt at reconciling his problems... he hasn't tried even one thing - what makes you think he will listen to you Layth?
i could not watch the video because youtube is banned in Pakistan. True I have been handed everything in a spoon. This dunya and religion were given to me by my parent and didnt have to move a muscle. But everytime I try to do something I fail like I told you about business venture (stock investment went wrong). I lost money. I tried for marriage and proposals were rejected ( despite a wali who is a very religion person is blind and so spirtual that he can tell about just be hearing the name of persons with their mothers name)
WARNING:
STOP.... that isn't no wali - that is a magician.
Stay clear of such frauds.
Do not seek your fortune in men who ask for your name and your mothers name - they are CLEAR BLACK MAGICIANS...
...now you know one of the roots of your problems.
No real awliyah of Allah will ever need to know your mothers name - they know the religion well and so can adivse without divination - trust me, that man is a magician and bound for the hellfire.
format_quote Originally Posted by smallkid
i do gym but the problem is in few months I get bored of everything and wants to do something new. I have worked in various businesses owned by my family and irrespective of success or failure I change every few months. You are right I have no self respect because I havent really achieved anything apart from academic success. I once prayed all my prayers and did qll sorts of duas and wazifas and yet I failed. I started hating this life. I have gone downjill since my a level in every aspect of my life. i am sure people hate me cause I am too dependent on others. I do not want to accept any responsibility now and want others to take my decisions so that I can blame them once I fail ( and I do not dissappoint myself in failing in easy battles) I believed that everything happened for the good and Allah had a master plan. but now seeing so much gone wrong, I lost hope. Sometimes I feel a slight subtle turn and collision with a tree while driving at 100 km/h can only bring me salvation. I cannot enjoy anything anymore even when I am laughing and watching a show some pain is always at the back of mind. It feels that unknown forces are pullong me with my hair towards opposite sides. No one can help me and I am stuck in the middle of deen and dunya and do not plan to go either direction. divine intervention does not come to sinners like me, but when I see around I see people who have done greater evil are rewarded more. I have lost it bro again. I do not have passion for anything anymore. The only time I feel sensible is when I smoke. I am aways from drinks or drugs, but I feel its a matter of time God Forbid. I also cannot imagine a life without my parents so I want to die before them. i am also so fed up of this corrupt world and my country tops in everything that is bad. There is no escape from it. I am experiencing hell in this world, it is now easy for me if Allah sends me to hell in the hereafter cause I have experienced it.
PS: Good flourising life in terms of financial strength does not mean that you have a bed of roses. Instead blacksheeps in families like mine go through the mental torture and hell in this world.
that's the doing of your magician right there... trust me on this.
Do you wear taweez too? Boy oh boy... now I think I know what the problem is... bloody Pakistan is full of black magicians parading around as wali's... same as India man.
Dont say this bro. I hate this taweez and other stuff more than anything. if you think Istikhara is magic then that is what he does. He is one of the most religious persons. Dont mould it according to what you like. I summed up everything in the above post. Despite positive istikharas, I have failed bro and that is what hits you right in the middle of your heart.
What makes you think you have to give your mothers name in istikhara? that is simply false.
You need to read up on black magic and magicians bro - here:
Ibn Taymiyyahs Essay on the Jinn.
Sword against black magic and evil magicians.
get these two and then come back here with your limited knowledge expounded upon and try to make the same points.
As for istikhara - are you so stupid that tyou think God doesn't know who is praying to him? And so needs a reference code in the form of your name and your mothers name? That is simply dumb. It is magicians who require the name of your mother and your name... and possibly an item of clothing or something personal to the subject - in this case - you.
You do istikhara ever? what do you even know about Islamic practice in this regard apart from the tribal BS your Pakistani culture have brainwashed you with?
I've suffere both, black magic and jinn, and came through it - educated myself on it and more - so I know I can tell you that you are in the grip of a powerful magic and your defeatist stance is more than telling it - you are a classic case of black magic bro.
what if I show you the links of the dia from some of the reknowned scholars. It is also a hadoth when making supplications and on the days of judgements you will be called from tour mothers' name. and why do tou think the positive istikaras yielded wrong results. Why did Allah made me suffer ?
Take a glass of milk, and put one drop of poison in it...
... is it a glass of milk still? or is it a poisoned drink?
Hmmm... something tells me you are beyond the ability to rationalise anything in lieu of your silly bias.
You need no intermediary - that is your first mistake. The shuyookh should only ever guide a muslim though advice. Anything more than that is wrong.
You know what intermediaries lead you to? Shirk.
And that my friend, is unforgivable.
Scimi
EDIT: the proof is in the pudding - when has your istikhara of magic (lol) ever worked? From what you say, your life is just getting worse - you are so blind that you can't even see this? Boy oh boy... Oh kaay then. you keep believing in your shirk.
he is a a learned man and its better for more religious ppl to do istikhara on your behalf. Besides my mom also did istikhara and it was positive. so ?
[QUOTE=Scimitar;2847930]Bro I give you a simple analogy ok?
Take a glass of milk, and put one drop of poison in it...
... is it a glass of milk still? or is it a poisoned drink?
Hmmm... something tells me you are beyond the ability to rationalise anything in lieu of your silly bias.
You need no intermediary - that is your first mistake. The shuyookh should only ever guide a muslim though advice. Anything more than that is wrong.
You know what intermediaries lead you to? Shirk.
And that my friend, is unforgivable.
Scimi
EDIT: the proof is in the pudding - when has your istikhara of magic (lol) ever worked? From what you say, your life is just getting worse - you are so blind that you can't even see this? Boy oh boy... Oh kaay then. you keep believing in your shirk.
I'm done here.[/QUOTE
And by your logic will black magicians are strongers than will of Allah. Now that is shirk. not even a leave falls without Allah's permission.
I will be going to hell but you will be coming with me good bro.
Bro's all of you have been spot on. Allah is the most kind, but in my case it seems I will get no where in life, and will end up a failure due to my faults.
My friend,suffering is not ennobling,transcending it is.No one likes fake toughness,however,moaning and groaning doesn't suits on men(and it is not appreciated by women either since you are also looking for a potential spouse). Men are not only supposed to combat at various level and multiple battlefields but also lend their abilities for others.
By the way,considering you have already spent one fourth of life span(assumed to be one hundred) available,you are no "small kid". Quit living in a delusional world.
And talking about passing hundred mark,a video went viral of Louise Bonito who prepared to blow out her candles after taking a deep breath - but before she could exhale properly, her full set of false teeth shoot out and land on the table next to the cake.Hopefully it will bring the temperature down a little bit.
This article (or if you prefer, you can watch the video linked at the end) has a good look at the istikharah prayer. And no, you do not need your mother's name for this.
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