Can I console myself in Allah's master plan for me ? Is it real because right now I cannot see anything bright about nyself. I am acrewed in everything and has no real talent. I also give up too easily in everything and have achieved nothing despite academic excellence. I have neither deen or duniya. Will Ineventually get anywhere in deen or dunya or am I here to be rot in this world ? How Allah changed your life using his master plan ?
There is difference between taqdeer and naseeb. Taqdeer is something that has written by Allah and human can't change it. While naseeb is something that happen to human, but human can change it. In example. There is someone who is poor because he was born in poor family. His birth in poor family is taqdeer which he can't change it. But his life as poor is naseeb. He still can change this naseeb and leave his poverty if he does an effort to leave his poverty.
Young bro, I notice, you can't distinguish between taqdeer and naseeb. You think that your failures is taqdeer that has written for you. No, no. Your failure is naseeb, not taqdeer. You still can change your naseeb to be better if you do the better effort.
My advice for you is learn to do something in the way like athlete. Build an optimism which you believe that you can do something. Build a consciousness which you believe that your success and failure determined by your effort. Learn to do something in the right technique. When you get failed, do evaluation to find what is the cause that made you failed. And then do your effort again in the better way.
There are many people who failed in business, but then they can change themselves into success businessmen. There are many people who were rejected when they were looking for spouses, but then finally they could get married. It's happened because they did like what I have described above.
About talent. An Islamic teacher told me "Everyone has his/her own talent. However, not all of us know what is our talent. So, what me must do is try to find what is our talent, and then we use our talent as best as we can".
Do not think "I can't do it because I am ........ ", but ask yourself "how to make me can do it?".
thankyou bro aradinto very informative answer. Tell me one more thing how can I find I am good at which thing, I can recall only extreme failures in everything. I am just way too fed up of this life.
thankyou bro aradinto very informative answer. Tell me one more thing how can I find I am good at which thing, I can recall only extreme failures in everything. I am just way too fed up of this life.
Listen to what people say about you.
Indeed, we often heard people say about our failures, and it makes us very uncomfortable. But if we still open our ears, then we finally will hear some people say "Hey, you are good in ....." or "Hey, you have done good work when you did .....".
Re: Recently married and haven't stopped arguing from day one...
format_quote Originally Posted by YM Usrah Umar
we're going off topic here but smallkid...u are right allah is taking care of u and will never ever burden us from what we can cope with
broken record bro... the number of times members have said to him what you wrote above - and he keeps wishing for death like an idiot - it's beyond me how ungrateful he really is.
He doesn't want to be helped - he just wants to die.
Re: Recently married and haven't stopped arguing from day one...
imagine yourself in my shoes bro. People my age are doing all sort of stuff and everyone is over the moon with their sucess in life or content with religious elevationa and here I am deprieved of both.
Re: Recently married and haven't stopped arguing from day one...
I don't have to imagine bro... I had it rough, real rough... you ever slept rough on the streets? been mugged at gun point? been locked in police cells? had the Muslim community shun you? had your familys name dragged thru the dirt because of your mistakes? so that none of your siblings can even find a spouse thru arranged marriage? and don't forget - i'm 40 and still unmarried, and all this is just the tip of the iceberg... you think you got it bad?
You got it easy - and you complain for what? superficial things which mean nothing.
People like you are real cry babies - you haven't experienced it rough like I have. And you're wishing for death? pathetic, honestly - really pathetic.
Grow up already have the courage to accept that which you have no control over and the wisdom to know that you can change your "self" if you change your perceptions about yourself and the world you live in. You need an education in "life" - obviously your degree etc hasn't done jack for your personal development and you're nowt but a "smallkid" because you believe that's all you can be... such a slap to the face to the parents who tried so hard to make a man out of you and ended up with a mouse instead.
How will you respond to this?
I'll tell you how you'll respond - like a cry baby - you're so easy to read, honestly you make me cringe.
Scimi
EDIT:
bro - I want to help you... do you want to be helped though? really think about this.
I remember when I was a lil nipper, going to school and my parents having to come in and speak to the teachers about my progress. They told my parents I was dyslexic, suffering ADD and to top it all off, I was not only left handed, but writing English from right to left, with all the letters backwards - in order to read my writing, they showed my parents a mirror aligned with the page... my parents were shocked.
That day I came home and living in a traditional Indian family, they didn't really have high hopes for me after that. My Grandfather though, told me I had genius locked up inside of me, but despite his encouragement, everyone else convinced me I was stupid.
So I grew up, believing that. In school, I got into fights because I got picked on, and I never backed out. I got suspended, expelled, and moved from school to school. When exams came in secondary school, I didn't even attend, I felt like a failure and didn't want confirmation of it, so I never bothered.
By this time I had beat the dyslexia and wrote English from left to right, the right way round. A mile stone. ADD though, was still a BIG problem.
After school was out, I went to college - they somehow let me in - but same story there too, I got into so many fights in college, seems everyone wanted a piece of me - my reputation had preceeded me... in the end I got expelled.
No mind, I joined another college the next year... determined to make it work this time. But again, the fights, the dramas and the expulsions.
I do not have an education. Did any of you know that?
Despite this, I ended up being an editor for global B2B publications, when I was 25... how?
How does someone who doesn't even have a GCSE in English, end up being an editor for global business magazines?
I tell you how.
One day, I found myself browsing Foyles bookstore, for hours. I was taken in by the smell of new books, there was something comforting about them... I was intrigued. Hours passed and I had no idea I was there so long when a shop assistant asked me if I needed help with anything. I told her, "I want to read a book".
She smiled at me, and asked in a patient tone, "do you know what kind of book?"
I replied "a good one"... this is how dumbed down I had become. I didn't even know how to answer her properly, she smiled but I sensed that she could tell I was no academic. She asked me what I was interested in, I said I didn't know, then she went through some genres and totally lost me, I asked her what kind of books she read, she replied that she read trashy novels for women. I asked, what kind of book does she think I would be interested in. She told me to follow her.
She gave me Dickens... Oh, Dickens, you genius... you are the one man who made words come to life for me - how can I thank you Mr Charles Dickens? HOw can I let you know that if it wasn't for the way you captured my imagination, I would never have found a love for books the way I have now.
I read Great Expectations, and felt a kindred spirit with the main character, it was emotional, the power of words were making themselves known to me, in the dead of night - where I read secretly by torchlight, in case my brother, whom I shared the room with, would find out. I was embarassed to let anyone know I was reading - it was not expected of me, and so, I didn't want to invite ridicule... I read slowly, often reading the same page over until I got into the flow of it.
I remembered Hashem, who used to read Dungeons and Dragons books in the market stall I worked in on weekends, come rain or shine - I remembered borrowing a book from him, a book which I had no patience to read, nor inclination - and contrasted that to me laying there silently under the bed covers, intrigued at the way the words came to life in Charles' prose and delivery, I was fascinated at how I had managed to somehow, break through my ADD on this one occasion, and genuinely enjoyed the experience of reading and watching as the words danced to life in my minds eyes, better than any movie adaptation of the same... and I thought to myself, "I will read more books, because these things are cool" but silently promised myself, I would let no one find out...
...by the time I hit 25, I was writing letters for friends, and family... and my grandfather was smiling at me, telling me, "I told you didn't I, young man?" I nodded, and then told him that I love to read. He was the first I told. He told me back, "words are powerful Mohsen, learn to master them, and you master the world"
At the age of 24, I got a job in a newspaper group selling advertising on the phone (telesales) I was pretty good at it, a natural, but my manager got jealous of me and sacked me without any warning - but Allah had other plans... a client from this job phoned me and asked me what I would do now? I told him "I will start my own magazine" for a joke, to get him from prying into my personal life... he offered me a job, He wanted to start a magazine and he wanted me to head it. I was blown away, and told him "I don't have any education, and know nothing about publishing" but he insisted that I had the finest way of relaying ideas in emails he had ever seen and he wanted to meet me. We met the next day, he drove down from Birmingham to see me in London. We started our magazine.
That was the start to a career which has since, evolved into a media machine today:
This is my own business now. I came from failure - to success, and though I don't make much money and am struggling most months to make ends meet - this is MY BUSINESS, and no one can tell me what to do or how to do it, because I built this from scratch through sheer hard work and determination.
In order to get this far, I had to learn Adobe photoshop, inDesign and illustrator, as well as Dreamweaver and how to make apps... all this was a labour of love because I had decided to follow my dreams, at my own pace - in my own time, and I cared not what people thought - because they often told me that I was going to fail.
I kept at it, I got my work published, and noticed. And felt a sense of achievement which I never thought was possible for someone like me.
Imagine my joy when I came home with that first issue of the Magazine we published, with MY NAME as the Editor in Chief, and my photo above it, and the look on my parents face when they saw this... how can I explain any of this and do it justice. They were proud of me. My mother had tears of joy in her eyes, her son had worked in secret to beat his fears and prejudice, and no one knew until I came home to show them what I was capable of and who I had become. The Editor in Chief of a Magazine.
Today I run a media agency for small to medium sized businesses and Alhamdulillah, for HIS grace and mercy on this poor sod who had nothing, not even a hope...
...what's the moral of the story?
Those who dare to dream, dare to walk towards the dream... those who are afraid to dream, live a nightmare...
...Never say "i cannot" - for Allah is the ONE WHO Guides,
you had so many talents bro Mashallah. imagine yourself in my shoes.
1) ugly
2)stupid
3) dumb witted
4) moron
5) fat
6) bald
8) nervous
9) underconfident
10) Not a very good talker
11) shy
12) girl repeller
13) people repeller in general
14) few friends
15) no passion
16) no talent
17) ailments
18) weak
19) suicidal thoughts
20) waswas
21) self hate
22) self loathing
23) mentally retarded may be
24) no achievments
25) no deen
26) nonduniya
27) hated by Allah
28) nonprayers ever answered
29) dependent on others
30) laughing stock
31) life going no where
32) one of the most stupid and dumb person alive
33) Weird
34) eerie
35) bad personality
36) Very much a piece of trash and crap
37) everything I want happens exactly opposite
38) bad luck
39) Immature
40) still a small kid at 24
41) feels everyone hates me
42) incontentment
43) things do not happen the way I want
44) No sins and yet Allah has abandoned me
45) 25 years of pain
46) Careleas
47) Hasty
48) Absent minded
49) mood swings
50) Crying during prayers
51) I think I want to come closer to Allah and he does not want me to
52) twice being rejected
53) No hope
54) end of the world for me after failures
55) will not be any younger and what I have done or achieved is zero
56) Always bad choices
57) Always let my parents and others take my decision
58) No purpose
59) No direction
60) weird and Stupid
61) Ugly and Bald
62) Fat and a complete failure
63) case study for others what not to be
64) Hate myself
65) Incredibally dumb witted
66) Really slow in mind
67) Cannot get over issues and failures
68) bad temper
69) Confused
70) Hate myself
71) Overthinking
72) No friends
73) no enjoyment
74) Even eating has become a chore
75) spending ramadan in ibadat and dhikr and yet so much fog
76) see other people happy despite doing all sort of anti and unislamic acts
77) Never did drugs
78) Never douvted God's mercy
79) no sood or interest bearing loans and yet beinglike this
80) never spoken to my subordinates harshly
81) never upset anyone or broken anyone's heart
82) even helped others financially and yet this
83) always tried to make other happy and yet this
85) dumbwitted and talentless
86) ugly and stupid
87) fat and bald
88) maybe mentally retarded
Smallkid, you repeated yourself a few times in the list. Why don't you list down the good qualities you have and also what you would like and hang on to them as strongly as you are hanging on to the negative points.
Didnt you read what Scimi said? He did not have it easy but persevered to achieve things. You only persevere to believe negativity. It shows that with the list you gave.
What does that mean? If you are 20 something, will it mean that you will not try to improve anything at all from the list by the time you are 30 something, 40 something etc.. or will it be a list of negatives in the hundreds by that time? What difference will it be for me if the list is in the millions? Nothing. It is your life. Are you going to remain stuck where you are or actually begin to seriously improve yourself according to your plans and not that of others?
my dear brother all of ou are right and I respect you all. Even a drowning man for his life needs a stick or even a thin thorn to put himself out of water. Inunfortunately lack that sahara or help. There is not even on good quality in me that can help me as evident from the list. There is not one facet in my life or personality that can be a help. I am screwed in each and everything.
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