I pray usually 2 or 3 times a day, which is terrible.
The fact that I don't pray 5 times a day makes me hate myself, I feel so lonely. I'm starting to get used to listening to music (which is not good) and not Quran that much anymore. How can I get back on my prayers so I can feel alright again? I just feel lonely and I don't want to do anything...
He is Allah, other than whom there is no deity, the Sovereign, the Pure, the Perfection, the Bestower of Faith, the Overseer, the Exalted in Might, the Compeller, the Superior. Exalted is Allah above whatever they associate with Him [59:23]
The prophet salalaahu alaihi wasalam told us to increase in the acts of worship that are easy for us, my advice would be to increase in athkaar (ask for forgiveness). Instead of listening to music ponder upon all the blessings Allaah gave you, and say Alhamdulilaah, ponder on how He favored you and gave you good health ext. I would also surround myself with friends who pray and attend the masjid. As well as doing whatever I can to soften my heart and inshaa allah we will be more mindful of our prayers. May Allah Aid us all, This was a reminder for myself as well.
If it was an easy thing nobody would be struggling...
For many years I had the same problem until someone who clearly had me in his 'sight' waited for me as I was leaving a place and said to me as I was putting on my bike gear, "if someone calls you in the morning and asks you what you are doing, tell him you are waiting for Zuhr, and if they call you after Zuhr and asks what you're doing, tell him you are waiting for 'Asr. If he calls you after 'Asr and asks you what you're doing, tell him you are waiting for Maghrib and if calls you after Maghrib and asks you what you are doing tell him that you are waiting for 'Isya..."
I wondered what the point was in this and by the time I arrived home, the statement changed my perception from whatever it was in the past to being aware of the next fard prayer. So rather than to suddenly find myself in a prayer time and be distracted, I found that I was kind of looking forward to the next fard..
Thanks to him, I have missed very little since (that was 6 years ago).
I pray usually 2 or 3 times a day, which is terrible.
The fact that I don't pray 5 times a day makes me hate myself, I feel so lonely. I'm starting to get used to listening to music (which is not good) and not Quran that much anymore. How can I get back on my prayers so I can feel alright again? I just feel lonely and I don't want to do anything...
Assalaamu alaikum Aaqib,
(smile) You pray 2 or 3 times a day... that's wonderful! (smile) Yes, it would be even better if you prayed all the mandatory prayers, and even more lovely if you did some extra prayers... but what you are doing is certainly good, don't you think?
(pensively) It seems to me that when we focus too much on the half-emptiness of our mortal glasses, we tend to become discouraged and be blinded to their half-fullness. (smile) Aaqib, we all have our failings. But we need to get up from our falls, humbly admit to Allah and assess what we have done, and how we can be better... and then we need to get on with the business of trying to do what is better.
(smile) You say you pray 2 or 3 times a day... and you feel badly about this. How about you say to yourself: ok, this is a problem. I shall commit to doing at least 3 full prayers a day. And then stick to it.
Then, I'd suggest you try going for walks in nature (it's proven to be very beneficial for your physical and mental health to do this... and it is well-known as a way to replenish your connection with God). Commit to once a week, for at least 30 minutes. And stick to it. (smile) And don't be shy to smile and speak with people that you may meet on your walks!
(smile) And then build on your successes. After 3 or 4 prayers, stick to 4. After one walk a week, expand it to 2. (smile) And so on.
(smile) Sudden big changes in our behaviour tend not to stick, and depress us when we can't maintain them. But if we break the efforts up into smaller pieces, and enjoy our small successes... we are much more liable to succeed. And realizing that our physical, emotional, intellectual and spiritual needs are interconnected... helps us to seek more complete ways to live in harmony with Allah's Will. (smile) Or so I believe.
May Allah, the Generous, Gift us with insights that lift us closer to Him
bro I can totally relate with you, I miss fajr a lot and it sucks I can tell you that much.
The key here is to sleep early, I have a bad habit of staying up all night doing other things and whenever I do that I miss my fajr prayers. So I know now that whenever I go pass over the time I'm suppose to sleep in, I will quickly go to bed(or try to, most of the time). This was also an advice given by Nouman Ali Khan, to sleep early.
This is how I view it, Fajr prayers is like our first win against Shaytaan, if you lose then the whole day will feel miserable and depressed If you win, Insha'Allah you will feel very re-energized the whole day and looking forward to it at the same time completing all the other 4 Fardh prayers.
Brother, please don't take this the wrong way, but it sounds to me like you need to do some work to develop your fear of Allah subhana wa ta'alaa. Fear is an essential part of our iman and will drive us towards hope. We are actually commanded to fear Allah and reading up about the Hellfire will help you to develop this - there are many, many references to it in the Qur'an. Never be in any doubt that the Fire is real and is the destiny for those that do not complete their 5 x salah.
I pray usually 2 or 3 times a day, which is terrible.
The fact that I don't pray 5 times a day makes me hate myself, I feel so lonely. I'm starting to get used to listening to music (which is not good) and not Quran that much anymore. How can I get back on my prayers so I can feel alright again? I just feel lonely and I don't want to do anything...
In addition to the beneficial advice already provided, I'd like to suggest something as well. Talk to Allah. Talk to Him as you would talk to a person.
Always have good expectations from Allah, regardless of your situation. Think positively. You are not a bad person and Allah will not abandon you. Do not let the whisperings of the shayateen dishearten you.
The Ulema mention that in an authentic hadith:
“Allah said, ‘I am as My servant thinks (expects) I am. I am with him when he mentions Me. If he mentions Me to himself, I mention him to Myself; and if he mentions Me in an assembly, I mention him in an assembly greater than it. If he draws near to Me a hand’s length, I draw near to him an arm’s length. If he comes to Me walking, I go to him hastily."
If you fill like you have nothing to say to Allah during prayer...
During Asr, just tell Allah, what you've been through since Zahr. Whatever you think was important for these hours, any thoughts, tiny mistakes you did, lessons you learnt.
Then, till Maghrib, you'll be looking forward for it, harmonize all your deeds and thoughts to feel no shame during next prayers.
Allah will not get bored by your prayers until you get bored.
This is a reminder to myself in the first place: May be it's because you get bored since you recite all the time the same surah's in your prayers? I don't know may be you need to refresh your knowledge and learn some new, so prayer get again interesting and gives material to ponder about other miracles.
When Rasulallah died, his last words were: "As-Salah, As-Salah, As-Salah, As-Salah....", may Allah let us be of those people who don't miss any prayer and stay in front of him with khushua. Allahumma Amin.
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bro I can totally relate with you, I miss fajr a lot and it sucks I can tell you that much.
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