Please Advise

**hisnameiszzz** · 12-09-2015

Hi guys,

Sorry to harp on about the same thing again and again, but please can someone advise me.

2 weeks ago, there was an event at the local Mosque. My Mom forced me to go (I no longer go to the Mosque unless I am made to go!). Moulana Saleem Dhorat saheb from Leicester, a very learned scholar came and funnily enough his topic was about respecting others and how to treat people. He went on and on about how someone would never be a Moomin unless he had Akhlaaq etc. He also mentioned about how sinful it was to harass someone or mistreat them and that their time would come and Allah would show his wrath. He specifically mentioned neighbours. The father and son from next door were at the sermon and they heard the whole of the final sermon as I saw them in it. The scholar spoke in English and Gujerati.

Since that sermon, the neighbours have gone absolutely crazy. Once in a while they would close a door like a normal human being inside the house. Now they slam them all the time, day and night. The father who no longer works slams doors full blast, day in day out. At times, he opens a door, slams it, opens it again, slams it, opens it again, slams and does this simply to harass us. They have always been like this but they have put it up a few notches now.

I have had a week off this week and have been in tears numerous times because it is really getting to me. Though my Mother tried to put on a brave face, I know it is really getting her down. She seems to have faith in her Allah and keeps saying their time will come.

Anyway, I digress. If a scholar tells you not to do something, do you go home and do it? Is that what I am supposed to do also?

If the scholar says you will end up in hell for mistreating people, why oh why would someone go home and mistreat their neighbours? Am I missing something completely?

Please advise.

**hisnameiszzz** · 01-01-2016

Hi all,

Hope you are all doing well.

I've just read through this forum and I am quite ashamed of some of the things I said. I know the day I posted, I was very angry and tired as had not slept for a day or two due to the noise. I was having proper crazy thoughts going through my head and it came out on here because it is anonymous and I just needed to get if off my chest.

Funnily enough, the bayaan at Jummah today was about patience and going through hardships and trials in life for the life after death to be better. Sometimes it feels like Allah is communicating with me via these bayaans. It probably sounds completely crazy, but it's true.

The man from next door was also at the bayaan but it seems like it made no difference because he was back home slamming away with more vigor than normal. The slamming has been non stop today and I keep trying to think of other things but my mind goes back to it. It's so hard to think about anything else I promise you. I keep getting panic attacks also and have had an awful pain in my chest when the slamming started this afternoon.

However, I kept praying my tasbeeh, subhanallah, alhamdolillah, allahu akbar, astagfirullah, jazallaho anna mohammadum ma howa ahloo, allahumma inna naozo beka minal fitanay ma zahara minha wama batann and various others.

Please if anyone has any more suggestions or advice, let me know. I don't want this to get the best of me and I would love your help in overcoming this.

Thanks.

**Search** · 01-01-2016

Two things come to mind, bro:

One is a post that a sister had shared on Ruqyashariah Forum a long time ago in which she'd shared this advice when jinn had been troubling her family, especially her son, a lot, and I'm posting her words so that you can benefit from therein:

Being Thankful as a method to seek help from Allah

Salam,
I was wondering if anyone here inflicted are thanking of his/her blessings on a regular basis? One example of this in the Quran is Al-E-Imran Whoso desireth the reward of the world, We bestow on him thereof; and whoso desireth the reward of the Hereafter, We bestow on him thereof. We shall reward the thankful. (145)

I have been thanking Allah a lot lately and focusing on my blessings. THe less attention I have given the "EVIL" the less it will seek my attention. I do prayers every night and morning just like before and my husband prays on my son everyday, but I am not thinking about why we are doing them (meaning the problem at hand). I am doing it because it brings my heart peace and brings me closer to Allah! Try not to think or do anything that gives them attention which I KNOW THEY FEED OFF OF. Please learn from my mistakes over and over....do NOT linger on the evil going on and focus on your blessings!! THe more of your energy you give it, the more it will take. Yes, it may take time to change your way of thinking, but trust me, if you spend more time thinking of your blessings and thanking Allah everytime you see something good it will be better for you. After awhile, Inshallah, the evil will just disinigrate of course with your prayers as well. Because it is not worth their time to be with you or in you if they can't get anything from you...meaning attention, fear or loss of your faith! Their purpose is to bring you down, so by losing it and becoming fearful and desperate and depressed they have won!!! Therefore they will be with you because they are getting what they want from you! Be strong!!! When it attacks, stop and thank Allah for something amazing in your life right at that moment!! Even if it is just the fact that you are breathing or have a roof over your head! Be thankful! I want to hear what happens! Lets try this and see what we can learn from each other!

Also, what about the verse we say twice a day in the House Protection Dua...

Albaqurah 256: Let there be no compulsion in religion: Truth stands out clear from Error: whoever rejects evil and believes in Allah hath grasped the most trustworthy hand-hold, that never breaks. And Allah heareth and knoweth all things.

Let's REJECT evil by not letting it take us away from our lives because they are really powerless. Remember we have Allah on our side so how can we despair. It is them who are the losers! Believe me, I know how easy it is to get caught up in their trap of this consuming your life!!! I wasted precious time enjoying my child because of this. I prayed and prayed and finally Allah gave me the realization that as long as I let it consume my life it WILL. And it was as simple as changing my mind set to focus on the good and ignore the bad that things started to improve! In fact I thank Allah for healing my son even when he has a fit. I close my eyes and think of when he is superb and I smile and thank God and you know what?? My son stops his fit! Be thankful!! Allah loves those who thank him. And not just saying it, MEANING it!!

Salam

^^^
Hopefully, the above benefits you and you realize you should reject the evil, which in your case means seriously stopping yourself from focusing on your neighbors, as the more you try to focus on them and their actions, the less you'll be able to focus on Allah SWT and being thankful to Allah SWT for your blessings. To use an analogy, in New Age Philosophy, the idea is that focusing on the negative attracts the negative more into our lives. And to attract positive into our lives, we need to focus more on the positives. This New Age Philosophy has a direct basis in Islam as we're told in the Quran that thankfulness is related to having more favors from Allah SWT in our lives.

Also, please remember the hadith (prophetic tradition):

Gratitude’s importance was emphasized by the Prophet when he took the hand of Mu’aadh ibn Jabal and said: “O Mu’aadh, by Allah I love you, by Allah I love you.” Then he said, “I advise you, O Mu’aadh, do not fail to say this after every prayer: O Allah help me to remember You, to thank You and to worship You properly.” The Arabic version of this Hadith is the following. Let’s ensure that we memorize it and recite it after every prayer.

Allahumma A’inni Ala dhikrika wa shukrika wa husni ibadatika

Also, secondly, there's a natural vegetarian sleeping capsules called Luna that you might want to take to help you sleep. I know that the door slamming is bad in your neighbors' house and utilizing one thing doesn't work. However, maybe a combination of all techniques should help: For example, I'd recommend that you take natural sleeping capsules like Luna, wear the best earplugs available on the market, and also use something like pillow to place on your eyes by tying it with a satin cloth around your head so that no light is able to penetrate, and additionally also sleep having recited and blown on your body 4 Quls, Ayatul-Kursi, and Surah Mulk and Surah Sajda. Then, believe in your heart of hearts that you will get a good night sleep because there's also a thing such as self-fulfilling prophecy that I think is also hampering you from being able to win in this struggle and of course keep making duas as duas are the weapon of the believer. And the trick is that once you make dua, you sincerely believe that the dua is in the domain of Allah's Court and will be answered, and try not to doubt on whether Allah SWT will answer or not as that will ruin your positive focus and you need to simply believe that Allah SWT has the best timing and will answer your dua in the best way and Allah SWT's timing is best. Remember the Hadith Qudsi in which Allah SWT reminds, "I am as My servant thinks I am" and also remember the hadith in which Prophet salllalahu alayhi wasallam reminded that having an excellent opinion of Allah is part of excellent worship.

Hope that helps, bro.

And remember, steady. You have to be steady in keeping up the good fight, and I think your good fight is not external as you seem to believe but also internal, and In-sha-Allah once you take care of the internal struggle, the external situation will turn around for the better as well.

**MuslimInshallah** · 01-01-2016

Originally Posted by hisnameiszzz

I just wish I could have you guys as my neighbours instead of the ignorant family!

Assalaamu alaikum ZZZ,

(twinkle) Well, if you want to move to Canada... or Finland... or another part of England... you could have us as neighbours...!

May Allah, the Oft-Forgiving, Strengthen your heart.

**hisnameiszzz** · 01-01-2016

Originally Posted by Search

Also, secondly, there's a natural vegetarian sleeping capsules called Luna that you might want to take to help you sleep. I know that the door slamming is bad in your neighbors' house and utilizing one thing doesn't work. However, maybe a combination of all techniques should help: For example, I'd recommend that you take natural sleeping capsules like Luna, wear the best earplugs available on the market, and also use something like pillow to place on your eyes by tying it with a satin cloth around your head so that no light is able to penetrate, and additionally also sleep having recited and blown on your body 4 Quls, Ayatul-Kursi, and Surah Mulk and Surah Sajda. Then, believe in your heart of hearts that you will get a good night sleep because there's also a thing such as self-fulfilling prophecy that I think is also hampering you from being able to win in this struggle and of course keep making duas as duas are the weapon of the believer. And the trick is that once you make dua, you sincerely believe that the dua is in the domain of Allah's Court and will be answered, and try not to doubt on whether Allah SWT will answer or not as that will ruin your positive focus and you need to simply believe that Allah SWT has the best timing and will answer your dua in the best way and Allah SWT's timing is best. Remember the Hadith Qudsi in which Allah SWT reminds, "I am as My servant thinks I am" and also remember the hadith in which Prophet salllalahu alayhi wasallam reminded that having an excellent opinion of Allah is part of excellent worship.

Thanks to auntie SEARCH and MI. You are both awesome! May Allah bless you both.

I will look into the Luna tablets, I am currently taking DORMIDINA sleeping tablets which someone I work with brings back for me from Europe. I think I have been taking them for so long, they no longer work.

I already have some really deep ear plugs but the noise seeps through them, so currently I am either listening to music (I know I should be ashamed of myself) or some soothing instruments, but have decided to listen to Surah 69 Al Haqqah tonight and see if that makes any difference for me.

I do pay my surahs and what not when I get into my room, but straight after that, it's in with the ear plugs and music which I guess defeats the aim of the purpose, but as soon as the doors start slamming or they run up and down stairs like elephants, my heart beats like crazy and I feel panic attack after panic attack taking over me. Sorry if I sound dramatic, but when you have been exposed to this kind of noise on a daily basis for such a long time, you end up going into panic mode.

But thanks for all your advice. I truly appreciate it.

It's going to take me a long time to get over this. I just wish my Mom would agree to selling this house so we can move on. I discussed it with her this week and she told me to stop being such a chicken and not be forced out by them! Force or not, I would rather move out and have a bit of a life than stay here and constantly worry about when the next slamming/hammering/drilling/throwing session starts. The house is worth well over £200K but I would happily settle for £50K for a quick sale so we could run and start living as normal people again.

Auntie MI, find me a job in Canada, and I will move over in a heartbeat. I will kidnap my Mom and drag her with me also.

Thanks for your advice ladies. I truly appreciate it.

**MuslimInshallah** · 01-01-2016

Assalaamu alaikum ZZZ,

(twinkle) You could try here: http://www.jobbank.gc.ca/home-eng.do?lang=eng But you know, moving away from your neighbours doesn't mean you have to move very far...

(smile) I doubt you'd have to kidnap your mother. If you were to leave, I suspect she'd follow you. From what you've said about her, it seems to me that she's the sort of person who needs others to take a little initiative...

May Allah, the Compassionate, have Mercy on you both.

**hisnameiszzz** · 01-01-2016

Originally Posted by MuslimInshallah

Assalaamu alaikum ZZZ,

(twinkle) You could try here: http://www.jobbank.gc.ca/home-eng.do?lang=eng But you know, moving away from your neighbours doesn't mean you have to move very far...

(smile) I doubt you'd have to kidnap your mother. If you were to leave, I suspect she'd follow you. From what you've said about her, it seems to me that she's the sort of person who needs others to take a little initiative...

May Allah, the Compassionate, have Mercy on you both.

Hello,

If only. I had a full on chat with her this week and I was close to tears but she kept telling me to stop being a chicken and man up. The thing is it's not about manning up. I had work the next morning and the partying next door went on from 10pm until 2am. I didn't sleep a wink and then was very poorly the next day at work, and coming home from work was a chore in itself. I stood at the end of the street for about half an hour to compose myself.

I can understand from her point of view. Her Father initiated the purchase of this house and I know she was very close to him. Plus all her brothers and sisters are around here. Save the family from next door, she is very liked in our street and people look up to her. Also, it's close to the Mosques etc. But hey, I cannot force her out of her own house. I just wish she would agree to it and then we could start the process. Selling this house would be a problem in itself, everyone knows who lives next door so that would be an issue.

Anyway, please pray for me. I've prayed my surahs and am currently listening to Al Haqqah and it's very loud so I can't hear anything at all.

**Mr.President** · 01-02-2016

Contact the police and put up a complain

I have more ideas but its borderline crime so o dont wanna get the wrath of mods

Do U havr frinds ? Wink wink and wink

**hisnameiszzz** · 01-02-2016

Originally Posted by Mr.President

Contact the police and put up a complain

I have more ideas but its borderline crime so o dont wanna get the wrath of mods

Do U havr frinds ? Wink wink and wink

Police in the UK are not interested. Neither are the local authority. Door slamming is supposedly normal noise even when it is happening at 2am!

I do have friends but like the posters on here they tell me to be patient and give it time. Is 10 plus years of this torture not enough? Ouch!

One of the adults next door has been to Prison more than once and he has the kind of "friends" you are suggesting.

I would love to hear your other suggestions. The way I am feeling I would probably go over and do them!

**InToTheRain** · 01-02-2016

bro

I know your having trouble with the door slamming neighbours. Maybe try and sync your sleep pattern to theirs as I am sure they will be wanting to slam the door when other members of their household are sleeping. Avoid being in the house when possible; keep yourself in the mosque/work etc instead. Avoid their company or any others who hinder your path to Allah Most High. Read Qur'an in the Mosque etc instead of the house.

Hope it all works out for you Insha'Allah

**hisnameiszzz** · 01-02-2016

Originally Posted by InToTheRain

bro

I know your having trouble with the door slamming neighbours. Maybe try and sync your sleep pattern to theirs as I am sure they will be wanting to slam the door when other members of their household are sleeping. Avoid being in the house when possible; keep yourself in the mosque/work etc instead. Avoid their company or any others who hinder your path to Allah Most High. Read Qur'an in the Mosque etc instead of the house.

Hope it all works out for you Insha'Allah

Hello Sir,

The Qur'an is in my heart, I pray as I go. I pray at home, I pray on my way to work, I pray on my way to the Mosque.

Getting out from home is not a problem, but I worry about my Mom who is housebound. Yeah, to an extent, it serves her right because she does not want to move, but it's not fair on her either. She shouldn't have to suffer because she wants to stay put.

Thanks for your concern and advice. I truly appreciate it from the bottom of my heart.

**hisnameiszzz** · 02-19-2017

Hi all,

So after a year or two of trying to find an Aalim who would speak to me (they all say we are here for you, contact us, but none of them respond!), I finally managed to track one down with the help of a very kind member on here. I had a conversation with him yesterday and I was quite nervous but also fired up that I would finally be able to sort this turmoil out once and for all.

I was hoping for a bit of empathy. Don't get me wrong, I didn't expect him to start crying down the telephone and telling me how awful life was for me etc. The outcome was that all the noise and me getting upset and having a mental meltdown over it is my fault. Don't ask me how, but yes, it's my fault.

He told me to keep on praying and going to the Masjid even though I told him it feels like I am just going through the motions and I genuinely feel no connection. I told him in plain terms that when I go for prayers, I feel like an outsider and I feel like I am wasting my time but he didn't even try to understand it.

He also said how dare I speak badly of my neighbours because they might have a special connection with Allah and may end up going straight to Jannet. Would that mean the principle of Huquqool Ibaad is untrue then? If so, why is it preached about in every sermon they do these days?

I now wish I had never spoken to him. I feel even more upset about the whole ordeal. He made out that the neighbours are good people and I am the bad one for being affected by their constant noise. What?

*sad face*

**muslim brother** · 05-04-2017

i had a very noisy family live opposite me.and a large family at that
cars coming and going upto 2 in the morning
their whole demeanour over the years was we rule this street and can do whatever and whenever.

so i told them nicely and not so nicely,including the dad,useless really
because of my profile and associates i was never physically threatened
but i did suffer some mild verbal abuse
the neighbours supported me and admired my courage and tenacity.

so they would also ring the housing association and report any antisocial behaviour
the police would also be called late at night

finally things got sorted out,
1 sons in jail for an unrelated crime
then 2 daughter in laws came in to that family and certain things happened which further improved the situation

allahs help comes in mysterious ways
but we must also apply courage ,tactics and any legal methods necessary

**AbdurRahman.** · 05-04-2017

brother do you live in the West?; if so, than complain to the local council office!; they should warn your next door neighbour and if he continues making such noise he could end up getting evicted

you cannot just do 'sabr' while this horrendous noise goes on!

did you have a word with your neighbour too?; if not than do so; maybe he dont know how much you're suffering!

**hisnameiszzz** · 05-04-2017

Congratulations and good for you.

I've tried everything possible. I've realised I am never going to be rid of that jaheel family (the witch in the room next door currently thinks it's fun to open the bedroom door and slam it shut, it's very window today and her window is open - so I am jumping out of my skin each time it happens) and my Mom has point blank said she is not moving out so I'm completely lost. I know a lot of people have suggested moving out but that is a huge step and I feel bad seen as my Mom's disability is getting worse. Plus I am so worn out and at breaking point, I wouldn't be able to cope on my own. It's like we all help each other along.

I try my best to not let it get to me but I am not getting very far. Hopefully I will drop dead soon and then I won't have to carry on suffering with the jaheel family.

I remember the Aalim I contacted 3 year ago who told me to be a bit more patient and that Allah's help would come. I wonder who long he meant when he said "a bit more"!