So I like this girl who is kafr at my school very much. In Islam, how do you approach the kafr girl, make daw'ah to her? I am extremely shy and I never really talked to woman before besides mom, school work, and internet. What makes it even harder is to talk to the girl I like. I get all red and frozen at the spot. There aren't really any muslim in school besides me and some girls that won't wear hijab. I am not sure how I should do this. I do istihkara everyday of what I should be doing, but everyday it seems to go into the direction of liking her more.
Before she ends up bad like many girls in school, I want to at least engage her by the time I graduate. She is 2 years younger than me. What should be the steps to talk daw'ah to a kafr girl? Is it possible to like call for a little dinner somewhere in restaurant to talk? Can I engage then talk about religion? Does she need a guardian if she is kafr during engagement?
SubhaanAllaah. OK. Before we go around handing out fatwas, it is essential that we ask a scholar and look into this ruling?
This means the Christians and Jews who believe in ONE God and that God has no sons, partners, wives, (Naoodhubilah) etc. NOT the Christians of today who believe that Jesus is the Son of God, and Jews who believe the Uzair is the Son of God.
Salam sis. The ayat does not say that kind of christians or those kind of jews. It says the people of the book which we know christians and jews. The general ruling supports me i think.
She ha already said no, and he continues to harbour hopes of marrying her. It could be considered bordeline harassment
OP has a lot of growing up to do, before making such life changing decisions.
but each to their own
~ML~
Salam. The boy is around the same age and yes of course they cannot marry now. However, this doesnt mean they cannot marry in future also. I am not giving him hope but I am telling what is truth which is that they can marry in Islam one day.
"So, I asked you for your hand during the summer and I will ask you again. Can I marry you? Also, would you also consider converting to Islam? I can't marry if you are not Muslim. If you have questions regarding the religion, I would be more than glad to answer it.
It would be best if you can ask me through emailing rather than talking to me in school. My friends are easily excited and can be a bit annoying sometimes.
If you are already Muslim, then that is great! We can discuss things further and perhaps marry before Summer!!! Or at least, engage!"
She never answered me. I couldn't wait for answer. So I messaged her in facebook. Then she answers me:
“Please stop messaging and emailing me. I'm not interested. Thanks.”
However, when this message came, yes my heart was crumbling. But this is to be expected I thought. I cannot just go around asking girls to marry me. She is only 15 years old. I guess I was a bit too fast in asking.
So what should I do now? I never talked to her in person. We only had eye contact and such. But, I ignored her every time when she tried to help me so that I can stay away from haram. But when I like her, she goes soo far. What can I do now? I do istihkara everyday and I still think she will be my woman. The time did not come yet.
Istihkara is a prayer asking god for making the best choice. I feel comfortable with her and still consider her perfect in my eyes even after my prayer. What is this a sign of?
I will admit I was too fast. I was losing my patience. God may have taught me patience from her! xD. God sure is the most merciful and kind.
Also, she when I broke my leg, she tried to help me, but I ran from her. For I am very shy. But, you know, I overcame my shyness to propose her. How can I talk to her at all? In what ways is it halal for me to talk to her? If I see her in the hallway, am i allowed to talk to her or am I not?
I need help. I am still super confused. My heart was broken. Perhaps, I have to continue being patient. I haven't had any girlfriend or even talked to one face to face unless it is project or work. I pray everyday, I made a mosque at my school in which everyday I make athan and pray alone.
I am alone and praying everyday asking god to make her my wife. I am scared if she won't become one. I don't think any woman can make me more satisfied than her...
Confused, I am. And depressed. I do not know what to do. I am doing in the way of god as much as I can. I am a senior at highschool now. I work together with people and make the best out of things.
How can I approach a kafir woman if I am looking to marry her? It seems impossible in this society where everyone gets early relationship as boyfriend and girlfriend system. I have also rejected many proposal of woman.
This kafir woman was the first woman I proposed in my life. Help.
Awww... my son.... you are beyond adorable...
What can I say? Make lots of Dua'a to Allaah for whatever you seek and for patience and do your utmost best to adhere to every aspect of the religion. And scrutinize yourself to see if you are committing any sin and leave them and do your best to perfect your ibadaat. For sins block dua'a and any pain and suffering should make you a better muslim. Finally try to introduce her to islaam by yourself in public by giving her books pamphlets etc.. or by asking other religious muslim girls to do dawah to her. Two points to remember
- it is not prohibited for men and women to communicate as long as it is done in a shari'ah compliant manner. For necessity you can help her or speak to her or let her help you. Never speak unnecessarily to her or be alone with her. Try your best to NOT confess or profess affection or love or demand it from her. But she should understand that you care and have her best interest at heart. While you preach her you can always mention how muslim men can only be loving romantic friendly to their wives because he is just hers.
- never ever expose your feelings about her to anyone. Muslim or non muslim a woman's honor should never be put on stake. Even when you ask other sisters to do dawah to her do not make it obvious that you are interested in her. A woman's reputation is fragile like her nature and a muslim man is her protector.
Know that what's written for you will come to you. And finally whatever happens be content and accept the decree of Allaah and always seek patience.
May Allaah make her a good Muslimah and make her your wife for duniyah and akhirah as a blessing with His Pleasure and make it easy for both of you. Aameen
Remember just like yours Allaah also controls her heart. Her islaam should be dearer to you if you really love her and Allaah's Pleasure upon her should be always your main concern. You and your desire come later.
Salam sis. The ayat does not say that kind of christians or those kind of jews. It says the people of the book which we know christians and jews. The general ruling supports me i think.
Please provide your proof.
“Indeed the patient will be given their reward without account.” :love: { Qur’aan, Chapter 39, Verse 10 }
Maida-5 "This day are (all) things good and pure made lawful unto you. The food of the People of the Book is lawful unto you and yours is lawful unto them. (Lawful unto you in marriage) are (not only) chaste women who are believers, but chaste women among the People of the Book, revealed before your time,- when ye give them their due dowers, and desire chastity, not lewdness, nor secret intrigues. If any one rejects faith, fruitless is his work, and in the Hereafter he will be in the ranks of those who have lost (all spiritual good)."
the People of the Book refers to christians and jews in quran many times. it doesnt say that kind of or that sort of but the People of the Book
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I like this Kafr girl (OP)
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