sorry struggling

To add on to another post about rukya.
If you go on youtube and type in
"Quran for rukya"
"Rukya"
"Ayats for rukya"
And just listen to any of the videos it will help you in sha Allah

Nobody wants to upset you about the situation of you and your "husband" but the fact of being around someone all the time who isnt muslim can also have a serious impact on your emaan and make jinns more prominent, especially if there is no prayer (or little) no Quran played OUT LOUD in the house so it reaches all corners and contintual sins being commited
And when you sometimes have self doubt about any aspect of your religion, shaytan will manifest it 1000x worse than what it actually is, which is why it is so important to have muslims around you, to help you through times of low emaan, and most importantly to remember/talk about Allah.


Abu Hurairah (May Allah be pleased with him) reported: The Messenger of Allah (PBUH) said, "Allah, the Exalted, has teams of angels who go about on the roads seeking those who remember Allah. When they find some people remembering Allah they call to one another and say, `Come to what you are looking for;' and they surround them with their wings till the space between them and the lowest sky is fully covered. Allah, the Exalted and Glorious, asks them (although He is best informed about every thing): `What are my slave saying?' They say: `They are glorifying Your Tasbih, Tahmid, Takbir, Tamjid, (i.e., they were declaring Your Perfectness, praising, remembering the Greatness and Majesty of Allah).' He asks: `Have they seen Me?' They reply, `No, indeed, they have not seen You.' He asks: `How would they act if they were to see Me?' Thereupon they reply: `If they were to see You, they would engage more earnestly in worshipping and glorifying You and would extol You more.' He would say: `What do they beg of Me?' They say, `They beg You for Your Jannah.' Allah says, `Have they seen My Jannah?' They say, `No, our Rubb.' He says: `How would they act if they were to see My Jannah?' They reply, `Were they to see it, they would more intensely eager for it.' They (the angels) say, `They seek Your Protection.' He asks, `Against what do they seek My Protection?' They (the angels) say, `Our Rubb, from the fire of Hell.' (He, the Rubb) says, `Have they seen the fire of Hell?' They say, `No. By Your Honour, they have not seen it.' He says: `How would they act if they were to see My Fire?' They say: `If they were to see it, they would more earnest in being away from it and fearing it. They beg of Your forgiveness.' He says: `I call you to witness that I hereby grant pardon to them and confer upon them what they ask for; and grant them protection against what they seek protection from.' One of the angels says: `Our Rubb, there is amongst them such and such slave who does not belong to the assembly of those who are participating in Your remembrance. He passed by them and sat down with them.' He says: `I also grant him pardon because they are the people by virtue of whom their associates will not be unfortunate'.''
[Al-Bukhari and Muslim].

May Allah help you!

You should read supplications in this book
https://archive.org/stream/HisnulMus...ge/n0/mode/2up

Especially the morning and evening ones. Read Ayat ul Qursi, morning and evening. According to sahih narration the person who reads it in the morning and safeguarded from shayateen till evening and the person who reads it in evening in safeguarded from shayateen till morning.
You will find many azkaar in this. Start from simple ones and stick with them. Do little but be consistent.

As this sister wrote that she doesn´t mention hers husband here anymore, it would to be polite if others too would do the same.

It´s easy to give good advices but we should always remember that as long than we don´t walk on the other person´s shoes, we can´t to be absolutely sure what kind of impacts our advices might cause in their personal future.

Just my opinion.