Tired of Judgements

Hi everyone,

In today's society it has become the norm for parents to want to raise or aspire to raise perfect daughters and perfect sons.I find this parenting very demanding and faulty. One reason could be because I myself am a product of such parenting. I always found my parents to be very self centred with regard to my needs. Wherever I failed in life, they forgot my very existence and blamed me for it. I was always made to feel like an utter failure, worthless and faulty person. At this point in my life, I'm just plain tired of their judgements hurled at me, hard as it is for me to ignore them, I just can not seem to not take it personally. I feel very upset when my mother starts judging me for my lack of finding a good match till now. As all my cousins and friends are accomplished in martial life, she blames me for not being worthy of marriage. My father never tries to acknowledge my efforts at home and totally ignores and undermines me. I have started to ignore his rude behaviour towards me as it causes me more pain. What is really hurting is my moms attitude as I just expected from her selfless love ...., Why can't she see my efforts at prayers? Why can't she feel my sense of lonliness and isolation when she too blocks me and judges me? Why is she blind to my constant efforts to improving myself as a person?? I seriously plan to move out of my parents house as the environment over there is very critical and demeaning. I want to feel a sense of encouragement that all will be well in my world but their constant lack of understanding keeps me immobilised for any future recovery. I'm on the verge of tears.... I can't write my feelings down, it's all so overwhelming this pain and lonliness. What should I do? Please give me advice??