I got rejected....my heart never learns.....I feel awful.....

[Mustafa16]

I am currently 17, and I told a 12 year old girl I've liked for years now that I like her, and she rejected me. I was at a Turkish festival, and I told her I had to tell her something, and her friends told me to say it in front of them....I told her I had a crush on her, and she politely turned me down by saying she already liked someone else, and that I was much older than her......so I walked away....at first, I felt relieved that I was able to get it off my chest.... and much later, I told her, first in Turkish, then in English, "maybe when you're older" before winking......I wish I was ashamed of myself because dating and casual romance is haram, but I'm sad to say it's hard to feel bad about that when I feel so sorry for myself....my heart never learns from my brain or from my religion, and I feel awful.....what should I do?

[Scimitar]

Dude.... I got nothing nice to say to you right now - stop making these stupid threads... this is an Islamic forum - not your dating agony aunt forum you muppet.

Scimi

[Regrets1]

She's only 12?? No offence but you need to stay in cold shower for days (lol) I get your only 17 but still how can u keep liking/falling in love with a new person every day May Allah help you.

[Mustafa16]

She's only 12?? No offence but you need to stay in cold shower for days (lol) I get your only 17 but still how can u keep liking/falling in love with a new person every day May Allah help you.

I've loved her for 2 years now.....not a day.....it is possible to like more than one girl at once, or to pretend to like someone due to the taboo in the age difference with someone else....

[Regrets1]

Love?? Bro you still need to learn what love is

[Mustafa16]

Love?? Bro you still need to learn what love is

I suppose.....that's what my paraprofessional and my father say, too....

[Scimitar]

To teenagers, infatuation = love

Mustafa17, you're a pup. A young lad - why don't you speak to your parents about getting married?

I'm pretty sure you'd fall in "love" with a shadow at this point. The moment your parents show you a photo, you'll be lost in a web of possibilities and that'll be you for a while

until the illusion breaks.

Oh and cold showers.... or maybe in your case, the ice bucket challenge.

Scimi

[Mustafa16]

To teenagers, infatuation = love

Mustafa17, you're a pup. A young lad - why don't you speak to your parents about getting married?

I'm pretty sure you'd fall in "love" with a shadow at this point. The moment your parents show you a photo, you'll be lost in a web of possibilities and that'll be you for a while

until the illusion breaks.

Oh and cold showers.... or maybe in your case, the ice bucket challenge.

Scimi

what is the difference between infatuation and love, anyway? the reason I "loved her" is because when I was 15, she once came over to my house for Eid and we spent hours spending time together and had conversations.....I also admire her personality and her looks, and want to make her smile or make her happy.....

[Umm Abed]

Brother, from now on please only look down.

This is very wrong to approach any girl like that and having your thoughts on them in this manner.

[Mustafa16]

Brother, from now on please only look down.

This is very wrong to approach any girl like that and having your thoughts on them in this manner.

is it because of her age or because it leads to zina? or both?

[Serinity]

Infatuation, love? Can't distinguish them? Nor can I. But I know what infatuation is.

And u are infatuated. Having a crush on someone for 2 years is possible.

Allahu alam

[Regrets1]

What you said above is all the good things, love is not all about happiness only. I'm sure you know no one is perfect, would you accept her with all her flaws? Be faithful and committed to her only no matter what? Or would you go looking for love elsewhere when things go wrong..

your still too young..and she's even younger. Study hard brother study hard! Lower your gaze and don't approach any girl. Only approach when your ready to get married

[Umm Abed]

is it because of her age or because it leads to zina? or both?

You see, you dont want to get in to any sort of trouble with the parents also, so rather stay away from girls. And, to answer your question, it is basically, both.

[Mustafa16]

What you said above is all the good things, love is not all about happiness only. I'm sure you know no one is perfect, would you accept her with all her flaws? Be faithful and committed to her only no matter what? Or would you go looking for love elsewhere when things go wrong..

I wouldn't know because I've never been in a romantic relationship before, and I hardly see her...but I imagine I would.....although I could be wrong....

[aamirsaab]

Man...I told you before go to a gym...pick up a sport or some weights. Your hormones are so out of control, every time I read one of your posts my hormones go out of control!

Do something, anything to take your mind of girls, relationships and this forum. You need to find a way to control yourself and use all that energy elsewhere in something more constructive, like press ups, start jumps, jogging, building things from ikea. Find an activity, or 12, and focus your energy on those things instead.

[Serinity]

Be thankful to Allah that He saved you from falling to haram relationships (gf/bf relationships) it could lead to Zina.

may Allah help you. Ameen.

And Allah

[Mustafa16]

Man...I told you before go to a gym...pick up a sport or some weights. Your hormones are so out of control, every time I read one of your posts my hormones go out of control!

Do something, anything to take your mind of girls, relationships and this forum. You need to find a way to control yourself and use all that energy elsewhere in something more constructive, like press ups, start jumps, jogging, building things from ikea. Find an activity, or 12, and focus your energy on those things instead.

So should I stop going to the Turkish cultural center, so as not to get temptation?

[aamirsaab]

So should I stop going to the Turkish cultural center, so as not to get temptation?

If you feel it will help you, yes - temporarily until you've learnt to control yourself.

But you don't need to do away with visiting it full stop - just learn to control yourself in those situations.

[Scimitar]

So should I stop going to the Turkish cultural center, so as not to get temptation?

Turkish Cultural Center? Oh you mean the European Brainwash Center... got it.

Scimi

[Mustafa16]

Turkish Cultural Center? Oh you mean the European Brainwash Center... got it.

Scimi

what have you got against Turkish diaspora gatherings?