I am 19 and Christian and my boyfriend is Muslim and 20 years old I've been seeing him for about 8 months but have known him for few years. I have found out I'm pregnant I may be about 10 or 11 weeks by now, possibly more as I'm waiting to go for a ultrasound to find out for sure. I love this man a lot and am trying to understand him, we have a beautiful connection but he wants me to have an abortion or he threatens to leave as he cannot be apart of it because he is pretending to his parents he has not had sex before marriage. Although he has already committed zina, he is just lying to his parents, he makes me feel guilty and every time I speak to him he makes me feel like I must have the abortion. He says I'm going to ruin his life and we can continue our relationship properly and if we ever get married we can then have a baby. But in conclusion, I would be killing my baby for the simple fact to protect his lie. I believe he is sinning a lot and Just wants to look good for his family, not to Allah, i was raised Christian but I love Islam so much, I study it and feel at peace with it, and I respect it , which is why I don't understand why he is doing this, I'm happy to raise my child Muslim, there's a lot of stuff I would do to make things right, I don't believe in abortion, I believe it's unnatural and it is not gods plan and it is very upsetting, I'm very attached to this man, I don't know if I'm ready to raise a baby on my own without the father (although I have plenty of support from family, and my mum has also been a single mother to 6 kids before) but I can't stand the thought of abortion.. ( I had one booked when we both first found out and I didn't feel right and I cancelled it)
I just don't know what the best option is to have a baby to this man I love but he says he won't be there and I will be on my own ( not to mention I'm worried about trying to start a life with anyone else as a young single mum) or have the abortion which I don't think is right and I'm worried it may haunt me .
And I know I would never be able to put my beautiful baby once I saw it for adoption.
They merely:
Veiled themselves and didn't flaunt it
Sought forgiveness and didn't persist
Took ownership of it and don't justify it
And acted with excellence after they had erred - Ibn al-Qayyim
(In the Name of God, the Most Beneficent, the Most Merciful)
My dearest, lovely sister:
You're a wonderful and precious creation of God. I used to be an atheist, and then I took to the path of Islam. And therefore I understand and appreciate your love for Islam.
I know things seem bad, sister, but there will come back a time that things won't seem so bad or confusing. As your sister in humanity, I sincerely advise and remind you of the saying, “No man is worth your tears, but once you find one that is, he won't make you cry.” Sister, this man is trying to rob you of your self-esteem and the right to making your own decision about your unborn child, and he has absolutely no right to do either in Islam.
I am very sorry, sister, to say what may seem bad to notice, but this man seems a self-serving person who does not respect you and does not respect the life that he's created in your womb. You're still young, sister, and it seems to me that you've already decided that the baby is worth protecting; and therefore, do not listen to your boyfriend but to your inner conscience. If this man valued you or loved you as you deserved, he would not push you into making a decision with which neither your mind nor your heart agrees.
I know you love him, sister, but I wish for now that you truly loved yourself more, because you deserve to keep enough love for yourself to know that you're worth a lot and that your heart is precious; sister, this man is breaking your heart, and you're letting him do it. I myself have been through heartbreak, and therefore I know how painful it can be. However, I'm telling you for your own sake to walk away from this man before he walks away from you and takes away your dignity and self-respect alongside any hope inside of you that you'll find your own path; don't let him guilt you into a path of self-destruction because he wants his life to become easier, because he's made his own choices for which you are not responsible.
It is true, sis, that in Islam both of you committed sins when you decided to share your bodies outside of marriage, but it is also true that Allah (God) loves those who repent and turns to those who repent with Infinite Mercy and Loving Care and that no sin is unforgiven when any person asks sincerely for forgiveness. So, sister, if you're a true believer, and if you're able to have this baby without any medical risk to your health, then I advise you to place your trust in God and have this child; maybe sister you and your child are destined for greater things Insha-Allah (God-willing) and it won't matter that this man is not in this with you because Allah's support is with the patient (Qur'an 2:153). And if you want and are able, maybe you can pray that this man has a change of heart, although if you're going to pray for that, I'd ask also that you pray for guidance for yourself generally and also that you're directed to doing what is best for you.
Sincerest Regards & Best Wishes,
format_quote Originally Posted by Caterina143
I am 19 and Christian and my boyfriend is Muslim and 20 years old I've been seeing him for about 8 months but have known him for few years. I have found out I'm pregnant I may be about 10 or 11 weeks by now, possibly more as I'm waiting to go for a ultrasound to find out for sure. I love this man a lot and am trying to understand him, we have a beautiful connection but he wants me to have an abortion or he threatens to leave as he cannot be apart of it because he is pretending to his parents he has not had sex before marriage. Although he has already committed zina, he is just lying to his parents, he makes me feel guilty and every time I speak to him he makes me feel like I must have the abortion. He says I'm going to ruin his life and we can continue our relationship properly and if we ever get married we can then have a baby. But in conclusion, I would be killing my baby for the simple fact to protect his lie. I believe he is sinning a lot and Just wants to look good for his family, not to Allah, i was raised Christian but I love Islam so much, I study it and feel at peace with it, and I respect it , which is why I don't understand why he is doing this, I'm happy to raise my child Muslim, there's a lot of stuff I would do to make things right, I don't believe in abortion, I believe it's unnatural and it is not gods plan and it is very upsetting, I'm very attached to this man, I don't know if I'm ready to raise a baby on my own without the father (although I have plenty of support from family, and my mum has also been a single mother to 6 kids before) but I can't stand the thought of abortion.. ( I had one booked when we both first found out and I didn't feel right and I cancelled it)
I just don't know what the best option is to have a baby to this man I love but he says he won't be there and I will be on my own ( not to mention I'm worried about trying to start a life with anyone else as a young single mum) or have the abortion which I don't think is right and I'm worried it may haunt me .
And I know I would never be able to put my beautiful baby once I saw it for adoption.
I am 19 and Christian and my boyfriend is Muslim and 20 years old I've been seeing him for about 8 months but have known him for few years. I have found out I'm pregnant I may be about 10 or 11 weeks by now, possibly more as I'm waiting to go for a ultrasound to find out for sure. I love this man a lot and am trying to understand him, we have a beautiful connection but he wants me to have an abortion or he threatens to leave as he cannot be apart of it because he is pretending to his parents he has not had sex before marriage. Although he has already committed zina, he is just lying to his parents, he makes me feel guilty and every time I speak to him he makes me feel like I must have the abortion. He says I'm going to ruin his life and we can continue our relationship properly and if we ever get married we can then have a baby. But in conclusion, I would be killing my baby for the simple fact to protect his lie. I believe he is sinning a lot and Just wants to look good for his family, not to Allah, i was raised Christian but I love Islam so much, I study it and feel at peace with it, and I respect it , which is why I don't understand why he is doing this, I'm happy to raise my child Muslim, there's a lot of stuff I would do to make things right, I don't believe in abortion, I believe it's unnatural and it is not gods plan and it is very upsetting, I'm very attached to this man, I don't know if I'm ready to raise a baby on my own without the father (although I have plenty of support from family, and my mum has also been a single mother to 6 kids before) but I can't stand the thought of abortion.. ( I had one booked when we both first found out and I didn't feel right and I cancelled it)
I just don't know what the best option is to have a baby to this man I love but he says he won't be there and I will be on my own ( not to mention I'm worried about trying to start a life with anyone else as a young single mum) or have the abortion which I don't think is right and I'm worried it may haunt me .
And I know I would never be able to put my beautiful baby once I saw it for adoption.
Seeking advice, thank you ❤
My dear.
Firstly I do not condone sex before marriage.
Secondly.
I will give you an advice with regards to marriage.
NEVER MARRY A NON PRACTICING SO CALLED MUSLIM.
THEY WILL ABUSE AND MISUSE QURANIC VERSES BY INTERPRETATING THEM ACCORDING TO THEIR DESIRES.
THE ONE WHO DOES NOT PRAY IS A KAFIR.
HE IS NOT A MUSLIM.
BUT I ADVICE YOU TO NEVER MARRY A NON PRACTICING MUSLIM.
I AM YOUR SINCERE ADVISOR.
But I also ask you that even according to your religion,you are not allowed to have sex before marriage.
I promise you.
You will feel true peace if you repent from such an act.
The true richness is the richness of soul.
this guy messed up!; he committed zina and now wants to save himself the shame!!!!
you sister already know about Islam so you can choose to accept it or reject; hope it's the former ... so you dont need him anymore, more than you need your baby as you're right, aborting a baby is a sin and it could well effect your life by haunting you, so your better off without him; tell him to man up face the consequences and stay with you, or leave!
Hi, I am sorry you have stambled in such difficult situation while you slowly moving towards the path of ISLAM. May Allah makes it easy for you, I mean your embracing of Islam.
In Islam once the fetus has reached 40 days it is HARRAM to abort it.
So sister, you both have commited ZINA a BIG sin, may Allah forgive all, but why fall in a second BIG sin (ABORTION) just because you love that man????
Good luck!
@Search 's post has a lot of good advice. You want to be careful with this guy because if he's making you feel guilty now and won't man up, what will it be later?
That being said, ignore what he says. He is just very upset. Do what you think is the right thing to do. You will regret it later if you don't do what you feel is right. Talk to your mother about it. It might be a difficult conversation, but the sooner it happens, the better. Realize that there is a strong likelihood that you might have to raise the child alone (but by law, he will still have to help out financially at least).
You are still very early on in your pregnancy, so don't feel pressured to make any decisions overnight.
Best of luck getting through this challenging situation.
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heartbreaking first post to read from a new member
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(In the Name of God, the Most Beneficent, the Most Merciful)
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