So.. You've already been given a lot of great counsel. I think what I can offer here is my perspective as a female, to prove to you that you are not alone in your struggle. See the world from my side.
I am 25 years old and I am unmarried. In fact, only Allah knows, but I am probably not even close to being married. I have only received one proposal from a family that was essentially seeking an opportunity to get their brother in to the country, and married to a US citizen. I have a career as a software engineer at a top company. I am, I truly hope, a morally good person. I don't want to go on about my positive traits haha, but I will just say that I have several friends and family members who continually tell me how perplexed they are that I am still unmarried. But, all I can tell them is that I am yet to meet a man that fits my 4 main criteria.
And, do you know what's top on that list?
I want to be with someone who has the will to believe and humility to submit their will to the one that created them. The reason I am looking for will and humility is that I know there are moments when we don't believe as is truly deserved Allah. I understand that as I have experienced that myself. But, even in those times, we never stop searching for the truth. I really want someone who wants to live according to that truth. Secondly,
I want to be with someone who is strong and compassionate, who will stand by me our entire lives together. From what I've observed, most men don't want this sort of commitment. I could discuss this in great detail.. but, as hard as you think it may be to resist women now, it is equally hard (if not harder) to stay with one after all the euphoria has ebbed.
Sometimes I wonder, why do men and women have different and somewhat contradictory partnership interests? It seems most men want as many beautiful women they can handle. Whereas most women can be entirely satisfied with one person. Anyhow, that's another topic. The point is, we won't always be young and beautiful. The one I'm with must be strong enough, compassionate enough to withstand the temptation, hardship, head and heartache that is sure to come. Thirdly,
I want to be with someone who inspires me to be a better person. This is so important and though it's my third criteria, it's truly the reason I want to be married in the first place. So, perhaps it should be first, even though the previous two are like-wise required. You may not understand this until you meet someone who, just by being who they are, whether you have a relationship with them or not, draws out the best of you - but before money and comfort, this is what I need. And, fourth on that list might actually surprise you..
I want someone who has not been in a relationship before. This might seem a bit unrealistic, given the world we live in today, but of someone who has resisted all the temptation that batters us endlessly.. there is something to be said. It gives me confidence that such a person will meet my second most important criteria. And, nothing gives a girl confidence in your interest in her than if you've passed all the rest up and chose her.
Really, that's all I've been waiting for. You might think I have a whole bunch of other criteria that I'm not mentioning, and while there are about 20 other "nice-to-haves" - if I found these characteristics in someone who I felt comfortable with and happy around and they wanted to marry me, I would. What that means is basically they should be a clean, pleasant person, who I have compatible major life goals/lifestyle (ex: children, parental support, values) with. So, ok, a couple more really demanding criteria haha. I will tell you that height is definitely not even a criteria for all women, at least not for me. Of the men I have had an interested in, 2 have been shorter than myself and one my height. The rest have been taller, but being 63.5 inches tall myself, that's the majority of men.. Regarding looks, attraction is not as simple as it may seem. You seem concerned by your nose.. At least you have a nose. :P But, if your nose truly does bother you, there is no shame in changing it. But, ask yourself sincerely what that would be worth, and what you could be giving up in exchange for that.
I'll tell you honestly, over time I've gotten a bit more bitter about my situation and men in general haha. xD But, it's hard to fault them. When they're surrounded by everything they want - which is girls who flirt and do whatever they want with them, why would they be interested in someone like me? I've had several guys that were interested in me, but I just wouldn't give them what they wanted. Just a couple of weeks ago a man which I was mutually interested in invited me to his place for dinner, but I had to reject him as I just don't find it appropriate. Many guys in these days find me too restricted, and eventually they decide they want someone who's more laid back and mainstream. Sometimes it's really hard.. but, realistically I wouldn't really want to be with someone who doesn't value that which I value in myself.
Anyhow, I really wanted to share this perspective with you. But, all that I've mentioned, it's trivial. It's nothing compared to the sacredness of my and your life. Please don't take it so lightly. Don't make the assumption that should you be given all or even some that you want now, it would be any easier. Life only becomes easier with gratitude and contentment, really. And the source of that is the connection with us and the one that is unlike any other created thing. It's ok to feel pain. It's ok to express that pain as well. Open the well of your soul to the one that knows it, the one that will tend to it. Draw up the wealth within yourself and offer it. That which was put in to you is meant to be returned, increased. Don't give up on yourself. You are a fine creation of the intention behind this universe. Own that nobility. I will do my best as well, InshaAllah.
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