this is it. the pill is near.
all my life i felt hurt. ever since i remember being a youngster when i found out my nose is out of proportions. confident issues. in high school i dodnt have any true friends.almost everyone around me became taller and i was.. one of the shortest.
and after that things turned for the worse. mom died early in in my life, and life hasnt going any better since then.
no matter how much i pray or try to be a good muslim, its not working. i never get anything . i hate myself. i dont like looking in the mirror. all the things i own in life are.. unstable. im tired . every day i wake up tired. every day i wish i didnt wake up. im tired. i cant hide it anymore. i want to die and just dissapear.
i dont think ill ever be all right. i dont think ill ever get good in life. all this hurt has culmulated. i see others go to success on my age and i always lack behind. my 3 bst friends already have relationships that their families are aware of, and they were never religous in their life. and me? i never felt love. i never probably will.
i dont feel Gods hand on my head. i feel like he doesnt care much for me. its preety clear. if he did id be better. things would have gone better. but i fail. early in the 20s but too late to make a change where i am from. i failed on EVERY SINGLE aspect of life. i try to be a practicing muslim at least, but the years scars are doins their job, and i no longer feel anything. i still pray but i feel nothing in prayer.
after all i no longer trust much on who i am praying to.
on the other hand i do my best t oabstain from all the major sins. dont smoke or go do drugs. never did. not even a sip of alcohol. no zinah. no music!! and how much i miss music. i even keep a long beard. but are these things helping me?
i am underwheight.pale. tired looking.
i might swallow a pill and just never wake up. this isnt living. i have been dead long ago anyway. all the lectures never helped. nothing helps. nothing. so i better just stop. im tired ofwatching myself in the mirror with the crying face all the time. my eyes show it all. im done
As salam alkuim my question for you is when you die what will you tell your lord if he is there? I mean i know you iman is low but for a moment let say you killed your self what are you gonne tell your lord??? Don’t do this nonsense it will bring you no good believe Allah stop worrying about things that aren’t benefits to you this dunya will end as you’re prophet said this dunya is hell for muslims and heavn for nonbelievers believe in allah so that you may succeed
If you give me some info on how i can contact you i can help you more inshallah viper,whatsapp,line whatever you got may allah have mercy on you and forgive you
this is it. the pill is near.
all my life i felt hurt. ever since i remember being a youngster when i found out my nose is out of proportions. confident issues. in high school i dodnt have any true friends.almost everyone around me became taller and i was.. one of the shortest.
and after that things turned for the worse. mom died early in in my life, and life hasnt going any better since then.
no matter how much i pray or try to be a good muslim, its not working. i never get anything . i hate myself. i dont like looking in the mirror. all the things i own in life are.. unstable. im tired . every day i wake up tired. every day i wish i didnt wake up. im tired. i cant hide it anymore. i want to die and just dissapear.
i dont think ill ever be all right. i dont think ill ever get good in life. all this hurt has culmulated. i see others go to success on my age and i always lack behind. my 3 bst friends already have relationships that their families are aware of, and they were never religous in their life. and me? i never felt love. i never probably will.
i dont feel Gods hand on my head. i feel like he doesnt care much for me. its preety clear. if he did id be better. things would have gone better. but i fail. early in the 20s but too late to make a change where i am from. i failed on EVERY SINGLE aspect of life. i try to be a practicing muslim at least, but the years scars are doins their job, and i no longer feel anything. i still pray but i feel nothing in prayer.
after all i no longer trust much on who i am praying to.
on the other hand i do my best t oabstain from all the major sins. dont smoke or go do drugs. never did. not even a sip of alcohol. no zinah. no music!! and how much i miss music. i even keep a long beard. but are these things helping me?
i am underwheight.pale. tired looking.
i might swallow a pill and just never wake up. this isnt living. i have been dead long ago anyway. all the lectures never helped. nothing helps. nothing. so i better just stop. im tired ofwatching myself in the mirror with the crying face all the time. my eyes show it all. im done
Asalaamualaykum - So getting this into perspective - you a failure and at the same time you basically painted yourself as a saint in between the paragraphs ?
Now, seeing that attempting suicide is actually one of the hardest decisions to make and even harder to follow through... Since you claiming to be a failure already, How would you feel if the suicide attempt fails ? Wouldn't that make you greater failure than you already confessed?
In other words - why would you want to do the hardest thing when you yourself believe you a failure.
Another thing - I really don't understand this part - you on the brink of suicide and off all things, in that state of mind you actually logged into Islamicboard and typed all that? ...........whilst in that state of mind? I got to hand it to you, that's rather impressive.
Asalaamualaykum - So getting this into perspective - you a failure and at the same time you basically painted yourself as a saint in between the paragraphs ?
Now, seeing that attempting suicide is actually one of the hardest decisions to make and even harder to follow through... Since you claiming to be a failure already, How would you feel if the suicide attempt fails ? Wouldn't that make you greater failure than you already confessed?
In other words - why would you want to do the hardest thing when you yourself believe you a failure.
Another thing - I really don't understand this part - you on the brink of suicide and off all things, in that state of mind you actually logged into Islamicboard and typed all that? ...........whilst in that state of mind? I got to hand it to you, that's rather impressive.
i typed all that because i thought i could use some advice.
i am a failure in worthly life. but maybe not on the behaviour side.
btw i said i am suicidal meaning that even tho i am suicidal in a state of mind ( wanting to be dead, die and such) i would not ever kill myself. but i admit that i am dead inside and id reather be dead physicallly aswell.
- - - Updated - - -
format_quote Originally Posted by Supernova
Asalaamualaykum - So getting this into perspective - you a failure and at the same time you basically painted yourself as a saint in between the paragraphs ?
Now, seeing that attempting suicide is actually one of the hardest decisions to make and even harder to follow through... Since you claiming to be a failure already, How would you feel if the suicide attempt fails ? Wouldn't that make you greater failure than you already confessed?
In other words - why would you want to do the hardest thing when you yourself believe you a failure.
Another thing - I really don't understand this part - you on the brink of suicide and off all things, in that state of mind you actually logged into Islamicboard and typed all that? ...........whilst in that state of mind? I got to hand it to you, that's rather impressive.
Its hard to read everything bro, all these are thoughts come to your mind but ever wondered, "do I have to listen to these negatives?" just say a prayer now, say to Allah God who won't let you go because He Knows youre worth it and have you here with us, tell Him how you feel and ask what to do?
Also what you have in mind is not a solution actually, it is the beginning of something long and surreal. You are going through moments of unease and heavy heart, and if you cry let it be to He Who created those tears. Why despair when Allah is for you, right there? Keep in hope bro!!
And dude you say you have a beard, well thats nice to know youre able to grow hair and still hve that (lol). And youre underweight? -_- please bruh you still can eat and manage, trust me there ppl who dont have a hand or limb but still make an effort to fulfil a basic need- so dont let your weight descourage you from eating, or trying. Look at the food when you next eat and say, "these are Gifts that Allah God is giving me!!" because you just dont know how much you are actually a gift to yourself too. Love it nd hone it. Yknow there's a saying I once read: that we have one life to live, we will anyway die in the end so whats the rush? If its the only life you have, relax and see where it goes. No rush.
i typed all that because i thought i could use some advice.
i am a failure in worthly life. but maybe not on the behaviour side.
btw i said i am suicidal meaning that even tho i am suicidal in a state of mind ( wanting to be dead, die and such) i would not ever kill myself. but i admit that i am dead inside and id reather be dead physicallly aswell.
- - - Updated - - -
btw alakum salam cause i forgot to giv salam
Asalaamualaykum
So ...trying to understand you here.....so you suicidal BUT...........you don't want to kill yourself ? You do see the problem here don't you?
this is it. the pill is near.
all my life i felt hurt. ever since i remember being a youngster when i found out my nose is out of proportions. confident issues. in high school i dodnt have any true friends.almost everyone around me became taller and i was.. one of the shortest.
and after that things turned for the worse. mom died early in in my life, and life hasnt going any better since then.
no matter how much i pray or try to be a good muslim, its not working. i never get anything . i hate myself. i dont like looking in the mirror. all the things i own in life are.. unstable. im tired . every day i wake up tired. every day i wish i didnt wake up. im tired. i cant hide it anymore. i want to die and just dissapear.
i dont think ill ever be all right. i dont think ill ever get good in life. all this hurt has culmulated. i see others go to success on my age and i always lack behind. my 3 bst friends already have relationships that their families are aware of, and they were never religous in their life. and me? i never felt love. i never probably will.
i dont feel Gods hand on my head. i feel like he doesnt care much for me. its preety clear. if he did id be better. things would have gone better. but i fail. early in the 20s but too late to make a change where i am from. i failed on EVERY SINGLE aspect of life. i try to be a practicing muslim at least, but the years scars are doins their job, and i no longer feel anything. i still pray but i feel nothing in prayer.
after all i no longer trust much on who i am praying to.
on the other hand i do my best t oabstain from all the major sins. dont smoke or go do drugs. never did. not even a sip of alcohol. no zinah. no music!! and how much i miss music. i even keep a long beard. but are these things helping me?
i am underwheight.pale. tired looking.
i might swallow a pill and just never wake up. this isnt living. i have been dead long ago anyway. all the lectures never helped. nothing helps. nothing. so i better just stop. im tired ofwatching myself in the mirror with the crying face all the time. my eyes show it all. im done
Selamun Aleykum friend,
You said you were in your early twenties. Sorry, but you are just a kiddo...you have seen nothing of the world yet. you worry about your appearance and how friends of you have it much better in live than you. are those the same friends who made you think your nose is out of proportions?
anyways, you know we are all undergoing our own tests here on Earth right? some of us are getting tested being rich, others being poor. Some of us have disabillities, others with their appearance.
the weak ones are getting a relative easy test to pass...your test seems a bit more difficult, so that must mean that Allah sees you as a strong person.
your test may be more difficult, but your reward is also greater!!
The bottom line is, no one will undergo a test which is impossible to pass. So, hold on...keep doing what you are doing and you will succeed eventually.
Besided, what do you think happens to you when you kill yourself? you think your suffering will be over then?
On the contrary...it will be much severe...and it will include lots of fire and heat. Don't do that...that will make you an eternal loser.
I really understand what your going through. Please do not hurt yourself. Keep praying we all will. You are a good person. How old are you if you don't mind me asking?
I really understand what your going through. Please do not hurt yourself. Keep praying we all will. You are a good person. How old are you if you don't mind me asking?
22 years old
- - - Updated - - -
format_quote Originally Posted by umie
Selamun Aleykum friend,
You said you were in your early twenties. Sorry, but you are just a kiddo...you have seen nothing of the world yet. you worry about your appearance and how friends of you have it much better in live than you. are those the same friends who made you think your nose is out of proportions?
anyways, you know we are all undergoing our own tests here on Earth right? some of us are getting tested being rich, others being poor. Some of us have disabillities, others with their appearance.
the weak ones are getting a relative easy test to pass...your test seems a bit more difficult, so that must mean that Allah sees you as a strong person.
your test may be more difficult, but your reward is also greater!!
The bottom line is, no one will undergo a test which is impossible to pass. So, hold on...keep doing what you are doing and you will succeed eventually.
Besided, what do you think happens to you when you kill yourself? you think your suffering will be over then?
On the contrary...it will be much severe...and it will include lots of fire and heat. Don't do that...that will make you an eternal loser.
thanks for the good words brother
- - - Updated - - -
format_quote Originally Posted by Supernova
Asalaamualaykum
So ...trying to understand you here.....so you suicidal BUT...........you don't want to kill yourself ? You do see the problem here don't you?
im not reading my first post. alhamdulilah im never going back there where i was
Hey there! Looks like you're enjoying the discussion, but you're not signed up for an account.
When you create an account, we remember exactly what you've read, so you always come right back where you left off. You also get notifications, here and via email, whenever new posts are made. And you can like posts and share your thoughts. Sign Up
Eric H liked this post
Hide
Looks like you're enjoying the discussion, but you're not signed up for an account.
Posting Permissions
Bookmarks