refusing intimacy with reason

Salam alaykum,
I am wondering if its permissible for me to refuse to be intimate with my husband for a time until he makes things right between me and his family.
First, I married him when he is a student and dependant on his parents for his tuition payments which are too much for him to afford working part time or even fulltime.
i accepted that we would have struggles due poverty but i didn't expect that I would have zero relationship with my inlaws. He has not even told them I'm muslim yet. he told them im his christian girlfriend! of all things. Which makes me wonder about his parents deen if they accept him dating a christian but not marrying a muslim??! this seems messed up to me
I am getting really stressed out dealing with his immaturity alone. I need to talk to my inlaws like a normal wife does and I believe. Is that not my right? If I do not get treated with respect then why should i be intimate with him?
I am on the verge of divorce and I will see a counsolor tomorrow at a mosque in sha Allah...I just want to know what i should do in the meantime while waiting for him to be mature and tell his parents he is married so I get respect and honor back.
I know people will blame me for agreeing to the marriage. I can accept that . its already done though. I need advice from now what to do to improve this situation.
I do not know if its even allowed for me to be with him until he tells his parents...maybe i am sinning by living with him and I didn't now that a man has to tell his parents. I only heard that a woman needs her parents to approve.
If you have nothing else then just tell me what to ask the imam tomorrow at the counsolling . thank you.
salaam alaykum wa rahmatulahi