So recently i was talking with someone for marriage. I wasnt sure how i felt about him. It takes time to like someone especially if you dont have physical attraction in the beginning.
Anyways i started liking him and thinking about marriage with him but after talking for 6 months wvery night he said i dont see this working. You come across very impatient and you get annoyed quickly, you didnt let your guard down and you didnt let me know how you felt and you forgot my bday its too late for us its over.
I feel sad because i feel i lost him because of my behaviour - maybe i should have done more etc.
Now im making dua to Allah if hes good for me please return him to me? I feel really down
I feel like i lost him because of my own doings. Had i done this or that he wouldnt have left me.
What if i dont get better than him?
I begd him to stay but he didnt want to i hope he realises its his loss
Assalam o aalikum rahamutullahi wa barakuthu
Abu Qatadah reported: The Prophet, peace and blessings be upon him, said, “Verily, you will never leave anything for the sake of Allah Almighty but that Allah will replace it with something better.”
Source: Musnad Aḥmad 22565
Grade: Sahih (authentic) according to Al-Albani
Allah knows what is best for you.
Dont think negatively of Him. He is All-Wise, our wisdom is limited. we don't know what will happen.
format_quote Originally Posted by xa_xa_ft
Had i done this or that he wouldnt have left me.
That is not apprioninate to say. Prophets peace be upon him faced sereve trials, did any of them say "Why did this happen to me?" no. Even Prophet peace be upon him also lost two people he loved most, his wife Hazrat Khadija may Allah be pleased with her and his uncle, but he remained patient. He did not blame Allah.
Sabr may be bitter, but the result is sweet.
This world is not meant to be Paradise. It is place of test, even marriage is also test. We should always be thankful even if calamity strikes us by permission of Allah, knowing that it will bring goodness. Think positively and expect goodness from Allah.
I understand that this may be a test from Allah but wht im saying is if i had taken this man more seriously then today he may have been mine. I may have been married. The guy said to me you should have let your guard down sooner we could hve got to know each other better but its too late now
You didn't need to get more comfortable with a guy especially when there's no mahram present. 6 months is more than enough for the both of you to know whether or not you were compatible, and it turned out you weren't. Don't let the desperation for marriage blind you from seeing that this probably would not have worked out in the long run. Consider it a blessing in disguise.
If it hasn't worked out, leave it be, move on, hopefully you have been saved from calamity, be grateful.
If you want to get married, in this day and age, follow the sunnah in doing so and believe in the qadr of Allah, that's the only way now. Society now is something completely different to what it was in our parents grandparents generation... it's a new ball game now.... marry a rightous God fearing one. Got to give him a point for moving on though, he realised you wasnt his cup of tea, instead of wasting your time further he let you go. Single people shouldnt prolong the water testing too long though, some people fall for others quicker than their counterpart.
Gosh I wish someone gave me this advice 5 years ago!!!! I learnt the hard way.
Dont give up though, prayers alone dont help you achieve what you want, you have to pick yourself and get back out there and stay steadfast even when the weight of lack of progress is constantly pulling you down everyday every moment.
I'm sure you'll be ok, it ain't end of the world for you. Dont make mistakes and realise after, take wisdom and stay positive, insh Allah you will make better decisions.
And never beg, have some dignity and self respect, people out there that yearn to take advantage of weak minded / vulnerable/ insecure people, lucky he didnt take advantage of you!
Well at least it happened before getting married and not after you was married and now you know on the things that you could improve in yourself so that when you are ready to get married you won't need to do these things that you know you're partner won't like. If it's meant to be there will be a way that you both will get back together. Leave it with ALLAH he will do what is best for u
You can't be certain about that. It's a 'what if'. Maybe if you have done more, he wouldn't have left - maybe not.
Make dua that someday you will find someone good for you and you good for him, both dunya and akhira.
Involve your family when looking for a spouse, that way you will not only avoid talking to non mahram on your own - also marriage doesn't only unite you with your spouse to be, it also unites your families
Jabir bin 'Abdullah narrated that the Messenger of Allah (s.a.w) said:'A slave (of Allah) shall not believe until he believes in Al-Qadar, its good and its bad, such that he knows that what struck him would not have missed him, and that what missed him would not have struck him." (Jami 'at Tirmidhi)
Hey there! Looks like you're enjoying the discussion, but you're not signed up for an account.
When you create an account, we remember exactly what you've read, so you always come right back where you left off. You also get notifications, here and via email, whenever new posts are made. And you can like posts and share your thoughts. Sign Up
Do you think Allah will give mebetter?
xa_xa_ft liked this post
Hide
Looks like you're enjoying the discussion, but you're not signed up for an account.
Posting Permissions
Bookmarks