Somebody recently said to me that they stopped making dua because it felt that dua was giving them false hopes for something, and preventing them from moving forward.. And this thing really hit me for some reason.
I can't stop fixating about their point of view and have been reluctant to make dua at all. Even stopped offering namas with enthusiasm.. It is just bizarre how true their approach seems.. Because dua does give u false hopes as everyone keeps on reiterating thst dus is accepted in one of three ways..... 2/3 ways is just false hopes.
Thanku fo sharing.. But the question remains, how do we know whether what we are asking for us is good for us or not? I know people praying for 15 to 20 yrs for something and they haven't got it yet. Like a spouse or children or a house or a good job.
You should ask for things which are halal. What you consider "good" is relative to you. You will never know ultimately whether what you ask for is good for you or not, that knowledge is with Allah solely. As a matter of fact, this thing you ask for really has nothing to do with making your life better/happier more than it does with your relationship with Allah. Allah can grant you exactly what you want, but it may not bring you an ounce of happiness. It may do the exact opposite and bring you misery and turmoil. It may even lead you to hellfire, even if you perceive this thing to be something which can relieve you of pain. You make du'a because du'a is an act of worship and it reflects your true perseverance, trust, and love for Allah. If you are fixated on having something in this world so strongly, then you are attached to the world more than you should be.
Thanku fo sharing.. But the question remains, how do we know whether what we are asking for us is good for us or not? I know people praying for 15 to 20 yrs for something and they haven't got it yet. Like a spouse or children or a house or a good job.
I think we'll never know if something is good for us or not before hand. The only way to deal with this is
'if I never get it or got it, it's probably not good for me, I'll move on'
Or
Walk the path presented before you and find out after if something was good for you or not.
No space for crystal ball concept in our religion Im afraid.
In regards to spouse... I think generally the advice would be:
Keep praying
If you meet a potential, perform isthikhara
If things aren't working still and you still find yourself single and some doors you just can't open, then you need to look within yourself and make a few adjustments maybe. I. E. Normally criteria and expectations within reason off course. Insh Allah other doors will open.
In regards to children, I am aware of this problem in certain couples. Generally the advice would be... Again keep praying, keep trying. There is medical assistance out there.. IVF etc. Haven't looked into permissibility but I think some Muslim couples have used that facility.
If then it is still not working then couples have adopted children.
Job.
Life is difficult out there, economy is in crisis in certain areas. Push n pull factors still exists. For something like this it is down to qadr, fate and how much effort you put in and the choices you make, they're not easy circumstances to take in, especially when you don't achieve your goals. I wanted to be a pilot, opportunities were there 20 years ago, I just didn't get the grades and my family circumstances would have made it difficult. So ditched that idea and moved on. 'Wasn't meant to be', If something doesn't work, move on, something else will come insh Allah.
House... Im guessing to 'buy'. Well, so many factors involved. You have to reach a stage financially speaking before anyone can consider buying a property. I very much doubt someone saving hardcore for 20 years is still unable to buy a house. They should be able to buy a house with little or no mortgage if they've been saving for that long. Compromise should not be a factor to rule out.
I know life is full of challenges and we need answers, just like the way you are asking. These things also make people vulnerable, some people end up doing all sorts like going to fortune tellers etc because they are not content with their life...
Sorry sister I couldn't have been more help.
Question should be on 'how content someone is' rather than why someone hasn't got 'xyz' privelages in dunya. I personally think that's the best way forward. Makes acceptance easier and also allows individuals to strive for their goals too.
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