Salam! I have always been an introvert, keeping to myself and not talking much with anyone, but the feeling of loneliness and pain was always there. In my friends, I have never been able to fit in, and it makes my heart hurt every time I ma hang out with them and am unable to speak.
But then I finally found a place, when my parents opened an orphanage three years ago. At first, even there I didn't know how to act around kids or be with them, but then I learnt and finally was happy, with all the love that I was getting by the kids. It went to a point that just to be loved by the kids and to give them more time, I try to go there whenever I have time, about three days a week. And I spend the whole Friday with them, but now, I feel like the kids don't even like me, no matter how much I try, buying them things, giving the everything they want, it feels like they don't like me for me, but for the things that I give them.
I can relate this to Islam, because I feel like the way we treat Allah, is the way we are treated by the people. Allah has given me everything Alhamdullilah, showered me with blessings, a nice paying job, top university in the whole country, best grades (without studying), but what have I given him in return? Nothing, no prayers, no Quran, and that exactly how people treat me. I give them everything, but get nothing in return.
Please guide me, tell me where to start to become a better Muslim, tell me how to take this anxiety of my shoulders.
Re: I feel like I am hated by everyone, and I want to find peace through my religion.
format_quote Originally Posted by Kashafnoor
Nothing, no prayers, no Quran, and that exactly how people treat me. I give them everything, but get nothing in return.
Salaam Sister Kashafnoor, Welcome to our forums.
It is never too late to start, always remember that. Allah Subhanahuwatallah is all merciful, all knowing, and forgiving.
Allah is always watching, and now is the time to start. Start by performing complete wudu of the body and making the last missed prayer, make dua that Allah will guide and strive to be a stronger Muslim. The best time to start is yesterday. But yesterday has passed, so start today.
About the kids, don't worry too much. Don't talk with your money (buying them things). As long as you spend time with them, talk to them, play with them, and have fun by making them laugh and smile, they will enjoy your company.
May Allah continue to guide you, stay strong Sister.
Re: I feel like I am hated by everyone, and I want to find peace through my religion.
You have to start now. Alhamdulilah you have come to a good realization. Go back to praying and Quran. Next time you pray though, try to deeply connect, for that will motivate you and let you see the true light. People start failing in deen when they cannot connect in prayer anymore.. I keep falling and I'm doing horrible because I am failing to find khushu in prayer.
You just gotta keep trying. Start off with that and memorizing the quran but also reading the verses and understanding the beautiful meaning. Watch more lectures.
The biggest advice I can give you is to BE serious about it. Right after that, you will have your own journey and self discovery. You will know what steps to take as long as you keep trying and keep asking Allah for guidance
Re: I feel like I am hated by everyone, and I want to find peace through my religion.
format_quote Originally Posted by Kashafnoor
Salam! I have always been an introvert, keeping to myself and not talking much with anyone, but the feeling of loneliness and pain was always there. In my friends, I have never been able to fit in, and it makes my heart hurt every time I ma hang out with them and am unable to speak.
But then I finally found a place, when my parents opened an orphanage three years ago. At first, even there I didn't know how to act around kids or be with them, but then I learnt and finally was happy, with all the love that I was getting by the kids. It went to a point that just to be loved by the kids and to give them more time, I try to go there whenever I have time, about three days a week. And I spend the whole Friday with them, but now, I feel like the kids don't even like me, no matter how much I try, buying them things, giving the everything they want, it feels like they don't like me for me, but for the things that I give them.
I can relate this to Islam, because I feel like the way we treat Allah, is the way we are treated by the people. Allah has given me everything Alhamdullilah, showered me with blessings, a nice paying job, top university in the whole country, best grades (without studying), but what have I given him in return? Nothing, no prayers, no Quran, and that exactly how people treat me. I give them everything, but get nothing in return.
Please guide me, tell me where to start to become a better Muslim, tell me how to take this anxiety of my shoulders.
If you live in a non Muslim country than this is not just a feeling. You are not the only one who is going through such things. Millions of Muslims are being abused in the west. Allah tells us in the Qur'an.
Hatred has already appeared from their mouths, but what their hearts conceal is worse
―Quran 3:118
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