weak faith

إسلام عليكم
May Allah forgive me because I cannot properly give an answer to what you seek. I hope you can forgive me if I am being bold and saying what I feel. It's sad to hear that you say you are weakening in faith.

I read so many different posts on different topics and the knowledge and wisdom of some of the brothers and sisters here is amazing. I also have no teacher, imam or anyone at all to discuss these things with me. So i am baby stepping my way through it all.

Your posts are, to me, a very valuable source of insight and learning. I don't know how that can help you with your struggles, but I wanted to let you know that. Your tests are big and your life isn't easy. But still, i feel you should know that Allah has given you something that you are sharing with others, whether you realized it or not. Yes, I see what you write as another source of inspiration.

I thank you for all the posts you've written that have made me stop and think; have led me to research more; taught me something new.

I pray Allah will guide you to the people you can also learn from. I pray that you will hear the quran with your heart always. I pray Allah gives you strength, motivation and eases your load. I pray you will find your faith growing faster and stronger and I pray you will come out of the gray soon.

Brother. My dear brother, you can always fast, pray tahajjud. Do the obligation and then when you perfect them, then do the extra. That alone will help! On YouTube there are some videos that have subtitles, which should help. You can always buy books from Amazon such as the Riyadh al saliheen. Those will help. Start there or even read the translation of the Quran. May Allah make it easy for you. Feel free to talk to me anytime

Yeah I think you should listen to what the others said but I have things to add on

Why don't you watch heart softening lectures on youtube with english subtitles? These always help me..

Try to abstain from more sin if possible and do more good deeds. Make dua and take this as a test and trial... Waking up and prayinng tahajud constantly will make a complete difference as I've noticed personally. Force yourself to have khushu in prayer

Order heartwarming islamic stories.. Also rereading about the prophets can help too. Or you can find these videos on youtube with subtitles

May Allah reward your difficulties. Learning about the deen while being deaf is much harder

waalaykum assalam warahmatullahi wa barakatu