How do I stop people-pleasing? And how to deal with PTSD?

**SintoDinto** · 01-20-2022

I have PTSD and borderline, and I also am high in sensory processing sensitivity (last one not an illness). I find that I am a "social chameleon" always agreeing with whoever is in the room (except with people who I feel are safe to point out faults to, like my mother, who I wouldn't imagine even with my ptsd would try to harm me, at least not physically). whenever i hear a car door opening outside when I don't expect visitors I assume it is the police due to the fact that I was arrested at age 14 due to a fight with my siblings while my sister was in charge. and arrested other times, or otherwise sent to a mental hospital. i have been applying to multiple jobs at once, and i am being pressured by my mother to apply to jobs that aren't halal, like ones where customers sometimes buy alcohol or pork ie convenience stores or fast food, and also for halal jobs i find it difficult to say no to an employer when ive found a better opportunity or dont know how to make them overlap. i am severely paranoid ill go to jail if i reject too many or reapply too many times. the fear of jail is engraved in me. when i see police cars on the road when riding with my mother, i feel scared. among other things. i also feel hypervigilant around others and think the world is more dangerous than it really is. what should i do?

**Imraan** · 01-24-2022

Originally Posted by SintoDinto

I have PTSD and borderline, and I also am high in sensory processing sensitivity (last one not an illness). I find that I am a "social chameleon" always agreeing with whoever is in the room (except with people who I feel are safe to point out faults to, like my mother, who I wouldn't imagine even with my ptsd would try to harm me, at least not physically). whenever i hear a car door opening outside when I don't expect visitors I assume it is the police due to the fact that I was arrested at age 14 due to a fight with my siblings while my sister was in charge. and arrested other times, or otherwise sent to a mental hospital. i have been applying to multiple jobs at once, and i am being pressured by my mother to apply to jobs that aren't halal, like ones where customers sometimes buy alcohol or pork ie convenience stores or fast food, and also for halal jobs i find it difficult to say no to an employer when ive found a better opportunity or dont know how to make them overlap. i am severely paranoid ill go to jail if i reject too many or reapply too many times. the fear of jail is engraved in me. when i see police cars on the road when riding with my mother, i feel scared. among other things. i also feel hypervigilant around others and think the world is more dangerous than it really is. what should i do?

salaam sinto dinto

im sorry you feel like that, i can only imagine what you are going through, i have my own stuff bugging me mentally (as they say you have to face your own demons)

i have to take my mind off stuff, i pray daily, i have to constantly keep myself busy until i am too tired to be reminded of my past, i take a break and then im back on it again....keeping myself busy

you cant change the past, however over time you will forget about them, for some people it takes longer than others, but it is possible to move on, have faith, you dont know whats going to come into your life in the future, when it does you will be grateful.... and you'll say to yourslef... "humble beginnings.. i'll never forget!"

ive gone from humble beginnings to calamities and now im waiting for humble beginnings again..

with hardship comes ease as they say.

look after yourself
be grateful for where you are and what you have
celebrate and appreciate your physical health, dont take it for granted.
dont stress brother.
life goes on for us muslims..... until we are called to the hereaftrer...