Should a husband be asking a wife to provide

**anonymous** · 11-02-2022

Salaam, I would like an islamic perspective on this. I'll try to best describe my situation without giving a one sided opinion.

My husband asks me to pay into the house because I am a working woman. I am happy to provide when I am working as I earn quite a lot when I do work and giving little into house doesn't hurt me. We live in the UK and the house is owned by his mum so we don't need to pay rent or morgage. The bills etc don't cost that much (300/month and maybe 100 for food) and alhamdulilah my husband can support those payments with his salary alone. For the past few months I have been out of work because of multitude of reasons. I work on a zero contract and do not have a consistent job. I pick up shifts whenever I need. I have bad work related anxiety. I also have to study for an exam. Due to recession and cost of living crisis, I have been unable to find work for the past few months. Now despite all this, my husband still expects me pay for all the missed house cost for the three months whenever I do find work. I have told him that I don't want the pressure of supporting the house like that. My circustances can change any time as I am a women. And our lifestyle can be taken down a notch. I have experienced poverty in my life so I can live very basic. I also just eat one meal a day. Any takeaways I pay for myself. Also bare in mind, that I do not ask for any money from my husband. Everything is divided equally. Holidays, eating out, clothes and travel, I pay myself. Nothing from his pocket. Despite all this, he says I have to provide because we live in the UK and we live in the modern society not back in the days. He can provide for the basic living expenses (bills and food) from his salary but he argues everytime. I'm pressured to go to work just to keep up with payments. I feel like I live with my roommate rather then a husband. Surely, Islam says that a man has to provide for basic things like a shelter and some food. That's the right of a woman? And I shouldn't be pressured to spend money on the house. My money is mine? He doesnt understand any of this. He's argued and said well you should have given more dowry if you weren't going to work. I've lost all respect for him tbh.

**kit91** · 11-03-2022

You can do with your money as you wish, and you are entitled to financial support. If you want to you can put more money in the home but it's an option not a requirement. Hope you get things worked out.

**muslimx** · 11-08-2022

As far as Islam is concerned, you defy seem like you know what Islam says about this. While your husband seems like he has 0 knowledge about Islam.
Specially since the moment you said he mentioned dowry which is totally haram in Islam, it seems he isnt concerned about his Aqhirah which is sad.

Since he is your husband, have you ever taken the steps to make him interested in his religion? He should be doing things while keeping Allah in his mind, if that isnt happening and he is just talking from his desires and whims, problems are gonna rise every now and then like this. So try to guide your husband into learning more about the Deen that is reading the Quran in a language that he actually understands and learning the Sunnah thru the Hadeeths to know the rights of the woman in Islam and his responsibility as the husband in the family. Unless there are other problems like you not being "Islamically" submissive to him, then the problem lies within himself.

May Allah guide him and make him understanding of the Deen.