i have close friend of mine who is in a delima she is more like a sister to me.She is married with 2 kids 5yrs and2yrs. they have problems husband seperated from her for the past 5 months living in seperate countries. he wants a divorce she doesnt know where to turn because of the kids and she wants to make it work at the end of the day.he says hes feelings are dead for her . recently she hacked in the computer and found that he his emailing a white women ,when confronted he says they are just friends and they knew each other before he got married to this friend of mine.the letter was quite condemning but he swears by allah and he is a hafaz that they just friends. how do i advice her its such a complex situation.
Maybe you should tell her to just move on. Be patient. Maybe that guy is just not meant for her. After all, relationship is like a ship. If that ship is not meant for you then it would sink no matter how grande and magnificent it is. But if that ship is meant for you, it would not sink even if thunderstorms were to occur. Every problem have a solution. yah? So, maybe she should have some time alone and communicate with Allah? I'm sure Allah would not leave His servants without helping them. Take care!
Well what is the point of living with someone when he cares the least? Why can't she go back to her parents? I assume her parents would be in a better position to support her until she finds another person or until her husband realizes what he did.
man, this is definetely very, very sad. All tehse stories that I'm reading about marital affairs is freaky! i think we should take this as a lesson and ensure that we all have deen in our lives. If we have deen in our lives, then insha'allah both husband and wife will realize thier huqooqs and rights that they have over another which will inshallah make them strive to fulfill these rights. It will also create fear of allah in our hearts which will protect us from preforming unjust and sinful deeds such as these. May allah save us from all these various types of fitan. Ameen
It's of her best interest to seek help from a local Human Services and find out what happens to her legally if divorce is inevitable. There are many help available for single mothers. Don't forget the legality of the custody of the children. If the father fights for the kids, and she doesn't have a job, there is a possibility that she might lose her kids.
Matter of factly, she needs to plan ahead.
My opinion is, if someone doesn't want to live with you, just forget it. But, everyone's different.
Women, believe it or not, has been shown in many domestic cases, to be in a state of denial and kept on holding on to the man of their dreams. Check the statistics. Go to local Human Services (Welfare Office) and see for yourself. There are women who have been battered, beaten, bruised and sometimes choked but still hold on to their marriage because "he said he didn't mean to".
In some countries, because the judge of the Islamic Court is a man, they usually favor the man and ask the woman to be patient and she will be rewarded. Excuse me?? Are you nuts?
Islam came to protect woman not to let them die on the hand of scoundrel.
wait, now, I'm being emotional.
Bottomline sister, there's nothing much we can do except make dua for her.
Please ask her to sort out the legality of the custody of the kids if divorce is on the way...
Takumi Nakashima WattaquLlah(a) wa yu'allimukumuLlah(u)
(Be Mindful of Allah and He will teach you)
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Re: advice needed
Take care!
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