Question

format_quote Originally Posted by Dawud_uk

assalaamu alaykum,

here is another question for you, is it allowed for a 16-20yo guy to disobey his parents if they give him an instruction or order that is halal?

assalaamu alaykum,
Abu Abdullah

masha'allah excellent reply

i think there is a hadith regarding to prohibition to hit people on the face... right.

format_quote Originally Posted by limitless

Are parents, or a mother allowed to slap, hit and physically hurt a 16-20 yr old guy?
Is this allowed in islam? the reason is just that he was on computer and thats it. Doing nothing bad or anything.

i find that part kind of hard to believe, a loving mother would never slap a son if his not doing anything bad or what she percieves to be bad.

also do you really care if she can or cant, shes your mother let her take out her frustratioN! she'll hug n kiss u if she hurts u neway!

He wern't talking about himself.

Was he?

erm...A mother should for a good reason, but 20? he would be a grown man, i'd be ashamed as A MOTHER to slap my 20 year old son!

And he should obey his mother in order to avoid such situation,

Hmm,

Tc AsalamuAlaykum Warahmatullahi Wabarakatuh!

format_quote Originally Posted by tasmiyah_B

[COLOR=blue]
erm...A mother should for a good reason, but 20? he would be a grown man, i'd be ashamed as A MOTHER to slap my 20 year old son!

seriously jus highlight the whole thing and make it blue next time !!!

and lol i wouldnt be ashamed to hit my 40 year old son if i thought that his disobeying me and wouldnt listen after ive reasoned and talked and given warnings etc etc.

Allaah, then rasullulaah, then mother, then father, lets remember this

as north mentioned its haram 2 hit on face... but that doesnt mean the kid gets carte blanche to free himself from all obligations to them... hence the hadith we need to be dutiful to them even if they opress us.

tc ws

format_quote Originally Posted by limitless

Are parents, or a mother allowed to slap, hit and physically hurt a 16-20 yr old guy?
Is this allowed in islam? the reason is just that he was on computer and thats it. Doing nothing bad or anything.

i jst have few things to say. i think the only time our prophet talks about hitting kids 'lightly' is when they pass the age of ten and continue not to pray salah when u tell them to...so something like being on the computer does not deserve physical abuse, no matter how light it may be.

the fact that his actions do not deserve physical abuse and he wasnt doing anything haram, so its sort of obvious that u got angry and took it out of him.in other words, u did it out of ur rage.

remember that he is a young boy and as children grow up, their individuality and self esteem and self pride grow because they increasingly acomplish things on their own. for u to invade that, will hurt, not only physically, but mentally and ur actions will never be forgotten, even if they are forgiven.

doing that out of ur rage is wrong.remember when (i cant remember who) but one of the sahabes were gna kill someone in war but the man spat in his face and the sahabe changed his mind about killing him. when asked why he did that, he replied, "i was initially gna kill him for Allah, but then, my personal rage got in the way when he spat on me..."

it may be wrong for ur son to disobey u but ask urself...how many times did u warn him to get off the computer?hes only young.hes not perfect...are u perfect as a mum?is he always disobedient and this was the last straw...or could u not bother and thought 'a good slap wud do the job..."

children are our emanah...Allah has trusted us with them.they are not ours to own, keep, control, dictate or use as a stress ball.they are individiuals and slaves of Allah as much as u and all other parents are.

lets be careful with the way we treat our children.if they continue to disobey...make dua and look within urself to see where u made a mistake,in the past or present.look at what u can fix in our life. our children do not mould their own personalities, they are moulded by their surroundings.formely their parents...

(the 'you' i am reffering to is whoever did this or whatever)

that is all.

Assalamu Alaikum

Personally, I find that parent's that use the "deathly stare" method along with straighforward orders with no side jokes or anything like that, works better than getting whoopin's. Instilling obedience this way is better than beating your child 'till he's old enough to get used to it because we all know a beating is probably the worst they could discipline us with, where as when it comes to eye contact and mandating, we'll know that there is a possiblity of it getting worse when we don't listen.

Are parents, or a mother allowed to slap, hit and physically hurt a 16-20 yr old guy?
Is this allowed in islam? the reason is just that he was on computer and thats it. Doing nothing bad or anything.

Personally, I think this may have been out of disobedience. Where she may have told this person to do something previously, and he didn't do it, but rather went on the computer. However, if I am completely wrong about this, then he should pardon his mother. Wallah, no one knows what goes on in a mother's heart (except Allah subhana wa ta'ala). No matter how evil she may seem.

The only thing to your own is your soul. Everything else is from your parents. Whether a mother hits her child out of rage, anger, or his disobedience, pardon your mothers ya ukhati and be obedient to them. By the time she gives you up for marriage, she has spent all those years raising you. Can you give her better care than she gave you for the same amount of years and never once get angry or feel as if you want to take out your anger on her?


fi aman Allah
w'salaam